Bait (Wake, #1)(87)

She turns her head and coughed another sob. “Casey.”

“Look at me.” When she hesitated. I repeated, “Look at me, Blake. Remember this face.” It was then I felt the hot sting of tears and the cool dampness on my cheek and I swiped at the with a shaky hand and said, “Remember what this looks like. This is what you've done today. You go. Marry him. Make everyone happy except you, but don't think you're going to cry on my shoulder about it later.

“You feared rejection, Blake? Well get a good look. This is what it looks like, honeybee.” I felt my chest ache and tear under my clothes. My blood ran cold. And she still didn't say anything.

“I could beg you not to do this all day, but it won't matter. You set this date.” It happened to be the same day as the expiration of my heart.

I let her go. When my fingertips left her skin I felt disconnected, from her and myself.

She didn't say anything, her eyes looked glassy again like when I came in. “I hope you're f*cking miserable, too,” I said.

I walked to the door, then turned back, “Congratu-f*cking-lations. You were waiting for me to leave you? To hurt you? You just beat me to it.”

She flinched.

Her voice was ragged and breathy. “I wish I'd never met you.”

I laughed at that. “Well at least we can agree on something, honeybee.”



I walked to the car. I drove away. But my body was numb. On autopilot, I drove to the address that I'd memorized from the invitation on my brother's refrigerator.

We met in a bar.

So f*cking what! What did that have to do with anything?

I'd leave her. Get bored.

That wouldn't happen. Not now. Not after all this time.

She was more scared of me leaving her than being in a marriage that was just good. What a cop-out.

My mind rattled on and on. I thought of a million other things I should have said and then ten different ways I could have said them. I kept seeing the look on her face and I had to come to the reality of it possibly being there, etched in my mind, forever.

I hoped she did remember what my face looked like that day, but then again, what would that fix? Nothing. Nothing is fixed if I don't get to be with her.

No right. No wrong. No Blake.

I pulled up to the park where the ceremony would take place. There were signs everywhere that said Warren-Kelly Wedding with big ass arrows pointing the way. There was no good reason for me to go. But when I decided to drive to her house, I knew I would have to if things didn't go my way.

And they didn't, so there I was.

I parked farther away than I needed to and chose to walk through the grass. If my brother saw me he'd freak out, but at that point, what could anyone really do to me?

Chairs lined a sidewalk that led to a large fountain. The sidewalk circled the squirting sculpture and forked off into more paths each a third of the way around.

The seats were full and there was a buzz about the gathered crowd. The wedding was to start at one and it was now half-past. No one seemed too concerned, but there was an anxious weight to the air. Maybe it was just me, holding out for hope that she wouldn't show up.

I saw my brother sitting a few rows back from the front. The bridesmaids weren't there yet, and neither were Blake or her mother. They couldn't be that far behind me, I thought. I took a seat in the corner in the very back off to the wide side, away from the aisle.

It felt like a funeral. Maybe it was my black f*cking shoes.

I watched Cory looking at his phone and then I saw him give a thumbs-up to someone. A few minutes later, I heard the crunch of tires on the chip-graveled road behind me. It stopped just past some bushes and then I heard doors open.

I had to keep reminding myself that I needed to watch.

After that day, I wasn't going to chase her anymore. I'd hoped that the reason would be because she'd let me catch her, but the reality of it was she pulled herself from the chase.

I wish I'd never met you.

I needed a drink.

Giggling and shushing. Hushed whispers at my six. I didn't dare turn around to see. I kept my head down and waited.

My chin on my chest I pretended to be invisible.

Violins played.

My inner guy told me that I was being stupid. That no woman was worth this.

Bridesmaids walked. I watched them out of my periphery.

Reggie and probably Blake's other brother, Shane, walked to the back of the seats to collect their mother.

Violins played.

She walked down, arm in arm with them to the first row, and sat. Two other people walked by, probably his parents; they sat on the other side. I kept my head toward the grass and only looked up with my sunglass-covered eyes.

The violins stopped.

Everyone turned and stood.

Violins played the wedding march, the saddest song I'd ever heard.

I didn't stand. I literally couldn't stand for that. I forced my heavy head to turn and I looked past the people in my row.

Flashes of her laughing at me, leaning in with her eyes closed and her mouth puckered for a kiss, and her flushed-pink nose…they all taunted me. The smell of her, taste of her, feel of her all at once hit so strongly that it crippled me.

Violins f*cking played.

They walked by. It was so fast. I didn't know what I was hoping for. Maybe she'd be looking for me. Maybe she'd turn around and run. But they simply walked past row after row until I couldn't see them through the standing guests anymore.