Bait (Wake, #1)(76)

“I told you, honeybee. No thinking like that.”

Had I said all that out loud? Or was it possible my thoughts were loud enough to hear.

Still, even though my mind was playing chess with itself, my body and heart never strayed. They belonged to him.

“Then kiss me. Distract me.”

He reached for the table and his glass, emptying it in his mouth and I watched as he downed every last drop, including the ice. Returning the empty glass to the table, his eyes found mine and I saw a hint of mischief.

He dipped his head to my neck. The sensation was hot, but I could feel the coolness of the ice at the same time. He kissed my chest and when he took my nipple into his mouth the ice across my warm flesh sent a rush of need straight through me. I bucked my hips trying to find the pressure and friction I craved, but he backed away and down my body, taking his ice with him.

When he got to the elastic at the top of my panties he stopped and looked up at me.

“You're so beautiful, Blake. Your body was made for me.” He kissed above the little blue bow on my panties. He said, low and sultry, “Your smell haunts me.” He dipped his head lower and breathed me in, his eyes flickering as he inhaled. “I crave the taste of you, like a man starved.”

Sitting up a little, he grasped both sides of the thin string that circled my hips on both sides of the expensive lingerie bottoms.

Then they were gone.

He caressed me with his stare. His eyes took in my bared flesh and he prayed, “Mercy.”



We laughed and had sex and then laughed some more. We stayed up longer than the moon and watched the sun rise over Aspen out of my terrace door. He stayed curled up and the blankets.

When I got up to re-fill my glass he said, “Sensuous.”

I looked at him perplexed. It was a strange time for a complement.

“Excuse me?” I retorted.

“Since-you-was-up, get me one too.” Then he handed me his glass. “And more ice, please.”

We drank all the cognac, ate all the food.

We were tired, but because we hadn't gone to bed, Casey stayed with me.

Whenever I'd start to fall asleep he'd remind my body what it wanted more.

Him.

I had to fly out that afternoon and since all of my hopes and prayers were denied, and feet upon feet of snow didn't fall over night, making my voyage home safe and undelayed, I'd have to just come out with it and let him go.

I looked at my nails, they’d been bigger messes than that, and I willed myself not to bite them. I didn't want to show him any of my trepidation. If I was going to end this, I had to seem sure.

I allowed myself more minutes, chickening out every time I began to speak.

My back against his chest, his back against the bed. Both of us still on the floor.

“We had a good time, didn't we?” I said as so many memories flashed through my mind.

He jostled me and held me tighter, readjusting his hands around my stomach.

“Don't,” he said and kissed my hair. My heart agreed with him. It didn’t want this to end either.

“I have to. I'm getting married,” I said, my voice small, but I thankfully I still sounded resolute despite the sharp pain I felt in my chest.

“Why? Don't marry him.” His mouth met my head again, but he didn't kiss me. He simply put his lips there.

“I have to Casey. This isn't right.”

He shifted and I steeled myself; it wasn't going to end well. I'd known for months that this was coming. Those months went so fast. I'd give anything to have a few more. To relive all of them again.

“What's not right about it? Name one thing,” he argued.

“It's not real. This isn't real life.” I scrambled off his lap, pulling one of the covers with me and facing him. I felt exposed and my feelings for him burned me from the inside out.

His head fell back onto the bed and I watched his pulse thump through the flesh on his exposed neck.

“How did this get so out of hand, honeybee? It isn't real because you won't let it be. Why? Is it because I don't have money? Because I hate to break it to you, but I'm doing just fine. You want a house? I'll get you a house. What else? What else!?” He looked up and shook his hands at me. Then stood, not bothering to cover himself up.

“You know that’s not what this is about.”

“No, I don't. I don't know shit about what this is about. You never tell me. I'm always guessing and I'm tired of it. Tell me how I get you.”

I wished I knew. If there was some magic time eraser I would have waved it around and taken me back to school in San Francisco, before I'd met Grant.

I'd meet Casey first instead and I'd love him the way he deserved. Entirely. Without conditions. And I wouldn’t feel so sad to see him so sad, because he wouldn’t have to be.

“You won’t get me, Casey. Besides, you can do better than this. Look at us. All we do is fight.” He could do better, but I didn't ever want to know about it. I planned on making a clean break.

It was better that way. Better for him. I wouldn't be stringing him along. And I wouldn't be cheating on my fiancé who, also could do better than me. It was all I could do to make it right.

The tiny piece of my heart that was noble, the same sliver stamped with Casey’s name, reminded the rest of me it wasn't any way to treat either of them.