Bad Things (Tristan & Danika, #1)(35)

“My ex? Negative five, since I’m feeling mellow right now,” I said instantly.

He nodded. “Exactly. The last girl I hooked up with threw a drink at another chick for smiling at me, and the one before that started nagging me about my drinking after we’d hooked up one time. Sex turns women into nagging psychos, and it turns men into straight-up *s. Now, how much do you like me?”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “Right this second? Well, this little speech is kind of annoying but I do kind of like you most of the time. I’ll give you a solid five.”

He just grinned, not at all offended. I don’t think he would have known what to do with me if I wasn’t giving him shit. “Well, I give you a ten, which averages our friendship out to a solid seven, making you one of my favorite people of all time. I’d like to maintain our average, so I say we make a list.”

He had actually gotten a pen and paper out, and I made sure he saw me roll my eyes.

His grin just widened. “That’s what I love most about you. I never have to wonder what you’re thinking. It’s all right there on your lovely face.”

My scowl just deepened as I saw what he was writing.





‘THE FRIENDS DON’T LIST’ –

Because I like you too much to sleep with you





I sighed loudly. “What is the point of this? We don’t need to write it down.”

He straightened, giving me a look that made things low in my body clench in the most delicious way. His gaze was borderline obscene as he eyed me, top to bottom.

He swallowed hard. “I need to. God, Danika, even your feet are f*cking sexy to me, and I like you too f*cking much to screw it up. I want to be around you. I’d be sad if you we didn’t see each other anymore, and I’m batting zero at the relationship thing. I’m a good friend, though, so yeah, I need a real clear ‘don’t’ list, so I don’t screw it up.”

I smirked at him. “My feet, huh? My feet are really that sexy? You crazy horn-dog.”

I didn’t want a relationship with him, either. I knew that it would mean the end of us as friends, but knowing that he found me that sexy made me warm all over. It didn’t make me feel dirty to have him look at me like that, it made me feel special. It was a novelty for me, to be sure.

He laughed and nodded, giving me really good eye contact. “Yes. It’s a problem. I’m a man-whore, and you would tempt a saint. Let’s find a way to keep our friendship safe.”

I liked that, liked that he valued my company more than my body. I nodded, finally giving him smile for smile. “Yes. That makes sense. Sex isn’t worth it anyway. It never leaves me with anything but a need for a date with my vibrator, and that’s if I’m lucky.”

He groaned and slapped his forehead. “I need to get that image out of my head. That was cruel. Do you mean that your last boyfriend didn’t make sure you got off?” He asked the question like he just couldn’t help himself. I knew him well enough to know that he couldn’t.

I laughed, trying not to make it sound as bitter as it actually was. “No. I’m saying that none of them did. They couldn’t find a clit with a map. Selfish pricks.”

He ran a hand over his face, and it went a little slack before he looked at me again. “That hurts me deep in my soul, Danika. I wouldn’t do that to you. I’d make sure you came, first and last. I’d go down on you every time, if that’s what you like. I’d lick—“

I held up a hand, giving him an arch look, though I was far from unaffected by his little speech. I wanted badly to see if he was really that good, but I shook myself out of it.

He grimaced. “Sorry, sorry. That was out of line. You can’t tell me stuff like that. It makes me want to punch somebody and, well, do things to you that do not need to be spoken out loud. But it does prove my point about me needing a ‘don’t’ list.”

I nodded. It was becoming apparent that we both needed one. “Yes. Don’t you worry about poor old me. I like my vibrator just fine. Better than any cock that’s ever come near me, in fact.”

He closed his eyes, lowered his head, and held up one finger as though he needed a moment.

I giggled, because I had been trying to torment him, and I saw by the oversized bulge in his jeans that I’d succeeded.

I snapped my fingers at him. “Okay, okay, let’s get on with it. Get started with your list.”





1. No sex, no making out, no kissing.





“No getting off and thinking about you?” I asked. Yes, I was trying to torment him.

He held up that finger that made me giggle again. He looked like he was thinking hard for a long moment, finally shaking his head. “Nope. Can’t do that. Sorry. It’s like saying I won’t get hard when I see you wearing a bikini. It would just be a lie. But I won’t torture you with the details, I swear.”

I nodded, still smiling. Teasing just never got old with him. He made it so much fun. He made absolutely everything fun. “The same,” I told him. “I’ll try not to be too loud when I cry out your name as I get myself off.”

He shook his head, looking pained. “So jacked up,” he muttered under his breath.

After a long pause, he started writing again without another word.