Bad Boy Blues(16)

And then, he grew taller. He literally shot up overnight and got bigger than everyone else. Practically everyone had to tilt their neck up to look at him and meanwhile, he barely spared them a glance.

I saw him as he was in the school hallways. Large and careless. Rulebreaker with his tie flipped over his shoulder and the top two buttons of his uniform shirt loosened. He never had his books with him. He’d be empty-handed, always. Like his memo got lost in the mail that it was supposed to be a school and you were supposed to carry textbooks.

And then, I saw him watching me.

He’d watch me get humiliated with a blank face. Sometimes when I fought back and called out insults, his lips would twitch. Sometimes they’d stretch and he’d smirk. Like I was put on this earth to be his amusement.

I saw him on his bike. His hair and tie flying in the wind and the smoke coming out of his mouth courtesy of his cigarette. The revving of his bike is engraved in my brain.

So yeah, last night, I saw flashes of his life, entwined with mine.

I was glad when the morning came and I had to wake up.

As I run to work, I’m actually looking forward to a day filled with menial tasks. Just so I don’t think about him and that he’s back.

He’s really, really back. And he knows that I’m here.

I’m so inside my head that I don’t watch where I’m going and right at the entrance of the staff room, I bump into someone.

“Hey, you okay?”

It’s Ryan. He’s from my old neighborhood, and I’ve known him all my life. He’s worked at The Pleiades as a chauffeur for about two years now.

I clutch the fabric of his suit jacket on his bicep. “Whoops.” I chuckle. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t see where I was going.”

He smiles. He’s only a couple of years older than me and I’ve always thought that his presence is comforting.

“It’s okay.” He steadies me. “Are you feeling okay? You know, after what happened last night.”

At his reminder, the cut on my palm pulses like someone is sticking their finger right in the center of the wound.

I fist my injured palm at my side and shoot Ryan a bright smile. “No, I’m okay. I don’t know what happened last night. Stress, maybe. But I’m feeling awesome right now.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he says, smiling warmly.

“Okay, I’m gonna go. Can’t piss off Mrs. S twice in a row.”

I’m already moving past him when he stops me.

“Cleo, I, uh.” He scratches his forehead. “I was wondering if you’d like to, uh, go on a date with me.”

“What?” I squeak.

“Date. With me? If you’d like to go?”

Did he just ask me out on a date?

Me?

Cleopatra Paige? The blue-haired, weird, goth girl.

It’s happened only one other time, with Neal, and I was the one who asked him out on a date. And well, we all know how that turned out.

“Cleo?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I just, um, you want to go on a date with me?”

He chuckles self-consciously. “Well, yeah. If you don’t, then –”

“No. I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to. I’ve always thought you’re hot and –” I widen my eyes because holy fuck, what am I saying?

It’s not that I’m lying, though.

If I’m being honest, I’ve always had a little crush on him. Especially while we were growing up. Tina and me, we both did. We’d take turns marrying him when we played together. He was just so cute and his smile used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Ryan chuckles again but the sound has lost its embarrassed quality. “And?”

“I just…” I shake my head, feeling flushed. “I never realized that you wanted to. Go on a date, that is.”

Shrugging, he runs his hands along his hair. “I’ve always wanted to but I never had the courage to ask you before. And with everything that happened last year, I didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”

What happened last year is a weight I always carry around. And even though I’m heavier for it, people treat me like I’m the most fragile, delicate thing ever.

Blinking my eyes, I clear my throat. “Yeah. I don’t think I can. I like you, but I can’t. It’s just that… I don’t think I’m ready. And with all the work and you know, I can’t.”

“I understand,” Ryan nods and there’s a slight twinge in my heart.

He reaches out and runs a thumb over my jaw.

“I won’t give up though,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes. “Now that I know you think I’m hot.”

With that promise, he leaves and all I can do is watch him go.

And then, I smile.

His thumb was soft and smooth. The only place I felt it was where he touched me, on my jaw.

Ryan’s touch was exactly what a touch should be: warm and fleeting. It didn’t radiate out to any other part of my body. It wasn’t consuming.

Not like his touch, scorching and electric. Something I’ll think about for days to come.

Still smiling, I walk inside the staff room and take a seat beside Tina. Mrs. S is yet to come and so everyone’s talking. Well, mostly gossiping, and of course, the topic of conversation is Zach.