Baby Love (Baby #2)(47)

"What makes you think that I feel guilty about anything?"

I could feel myself getting defensive. She was scratching the surface for something. It felt like she was picking at an emotional scab.

"What did you feel when you saw Preston's bruised bottom?"

"I felt angry; I felt ashamed," I snapped.

"Who were you angry with Tylar - who?"

"Trey," I hissed, tears spilling out, running down my cheeks.

"He made me go to work; he made me leave my baby when it was not safe to do so. My dreams were a warning; I shared most of them with him but he didn't want to hear about them anymore. They pissed him off!"

I was sobbing now; she had managed to wrench my guts out with her questions.

"Tell me about the shame you felt."

"I felt shame that any blood relative of mine could have left bruises on an innocent baby girl's bottom," I cried, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

Karla handed me a tissue from the box that sat on top of her desk. I took it from her wiping my cheeks.

"Now tell me what you feel guilty about?"

My throat was closing up; I couldn't breathe in her office. Why was she badgering me like this? I would never hurt my baby. I could never be the person that Maggie had been. She was still waiting for me to answer her question.

"Because," I finally sobbed loudly, "Maybe if I had been a better person; stronger and braver back then, Maggie would have never had the opportunity to touch my baby!"

"Back when Tylar?"

"Back when she used to beat me!" I screamed.

"I should have told someone! My teachers knew and they wanted to help. They asked me over and over again how I got my bruises. I lied to cover up the truth. I lied to all of them just to protect that f*cking monster!"

Karla was on her feet and by my side in an instant. She hunkered down next to my chair, taking my hands into hers. I was forced to look at her; I saw the compassion. She had suspected there was more to my story all along. She wanted to help.

"Tylar," she spoke softly to me, "You were a child. You loved that person that you thought was 'Mom'. You loved her unconditionally the same way that Preston now loves you. You didn't deserve to be mistreated. You can't

blame yourself for not turning Maggie in to the authorities all those years ago for what happened to Preston recently. You were a frightened child believing in some way that you needed to protect your mother even though she didn't protect you."

I nodded, wiping my eyes with the tissue. Karla handed me a fresh one as she settled back at her desk. I blew my nose and tried to get my composure once again.

"I know it was painful for you to come to grips with this today Tylar. You've repressed this stuff for a long time but you have to believe me when I tell you that it's healthy that you came to terms with this finally."

I nodded not trusting myself to speak.

"Let's meet again in two weeks. Between now and then I want you to make an effort to enjoy being around the baby and enjoy having time away from her as well. Can you try that?"

I nodded affirmatively, gathering my coat and purse

anxious to get the hell out of there.

______________________________________



I was on the phone with Trey's mother when he got home that evening. Preston was napping. Trey grabbed a beer from the fridge, he leaned down and gave me a kiss heading to his office. Tristan's party was going to have a Halloween theme since it was so close to the real thing. Susan said that everyone was to dress as a television or movie character. Trey and I would have to figure out what kind of costumes we would wear. I liked the idea.

I headed down to Trey's office. He was on his Blackberry with some work business. He smiled as I came in so I curled up in his lap.

I started nuzzling his neck and then lightly brushed kisses on him. I could tell by the conversation I had totally distracted him. I lowered my hand to his lap fondling his manhood from outside of his trousers. I felt it grow and harden beneath my touch.

Trey was trying to wrap up his phone conversation now. I had started tracing my tongue around his ear breathing warmly into it. He was squirming at this point.

Just then I heard the ghost's "Boo!" from Preston's room. My baby was up. I launched myself out of Trey's lap just as he wrapped up his call. I headed to her room.

She was sitting up in her crib, clutching her plush ghost to her. She smiled when she saw me, dropping it and holding her arms up for me to pick her up.

Trey was beside me in a moment.

"I see that my daughter has perfect timing," he grumbled slapping my behind affectionately.

"Rain check baby?" I asked coquettishly, holding Preston close to me.

"Absolutely," he replied, kissing the top of her head.

I changed her diaper then took her into our room to nurse for awhile. We needed our 'girl time.' I grabbed the remote and selected Nickelodeon which was playing an old 'Mr. Ed' episode. That show was classic. I got comfortable on my side and lifted my shirt as Preston nestled against me and nursed. Trey came in about thirty minutes later just as Preston was finishing up.

"Any left for me?" he asked seductively, stretching out across the bed.

"I'm afraid I'm on empty sweetie," I said, fastening up my nursing bra and lowering my shirt.