Awk-Weird (Ice Knights, #2)(59)

And proof of the truth of it just walked in the ballroom. Tall, easy smile on her face, and her attention focused on the men on the stage, Marti Peppers looked like she belonged here. No doubt because she did, unlike Tess.

So while he did the quick maneuvering needed to save the DJ the unenviable task of telling Ian Petrov and Alex Christensen that they couldn’t karaoke sing their way through the entire ABBA greatest hits album, she took a few quick breaths and tried to imagine if tonight had been for real in a forever kind of way as opposed to a just-for-now temporary truth. Hand on her belly, rubbing soft circles over the spot where their baby was, she let that sense of belonging, of permanence fill her from her toes to her probably-need-to-be-waxed eyebrows. It was more intoxicating than a shot of tequila on an empty stomach.

“You doing okay?” Ian asked, hopping down from the stage while Cole walked Alex and the karaoke machine down the stairs leading from the DJ to the dance floor. “Do you need to sit down? Water?”

“Thanks, but I’m okay,” she said, grateful for the kindness but unable to look away from Cole.

“He’s a good guy, you know,” Ian said, jerking his chin toward Cole. “Always takes care of his responsibilities. You don’t have to worry.”

Responsibilities. That was the reminder she needed of the reality of the situation. It’s all she was to him, an accidental obligation. She’d been here before, too many times, with one drop-off at a relative’s home or another. That creeping demon who told her that she’d always just exist on the fringes of a family but never actually be a part of one crawled right up her spine and whispered in her ear. That asshole never let her just enjoy the moment. And when Cole stopped at the bottom of the steps to talk to Marti, it got louder. Then, when Cole smiled at the other woman like she was the most fascinating person in the world, that demon started shouting one word over and over. “Temporary.”

…

In the usual way of Cole’s world, talking with Marti would have taken priority over nearly anything that didn’t involve hockey skates. Those short conversations a few months after a breakup were always what led to getting back together again until the next breakup. It was their pattern. It wasn’t the healthiest, sure, but it was the way Cole’s life worked until Tess had gotten him to throw that trivia game.

Now, all he could do was keep sneaking peeks over Marti’s shoulders at Tess, who was talking with Petrov—a man he used to like a helluva lot more than he did at that moment, when just seeing the other man smile at Tess was enough to make Cole’s stomach churn.

Testosterone caveman much, Phillips?

Yeah, he was an asshole. This was a now well-established fact.

“Good call on saving all of us from having to hear a Petrov and Christensen duet. I think I’ll make an extra donation in your name as a thank-you.” Marti grinned at him, looking him over from head to toe with an appraising but not hey-baby gleam in her eyes. “How have you been, anyway? It’s been forever.”

For them it had been. He’d spent most of the past ten years talking to Marti even when they were broken up, a habit started when they became friends while Coach Peppers taught Cole’s juniors team.

Usually, there was a tangible sense of unease that crawled like ants across his skin when they didn’t, but this time that hadn’t happened. It was like being weddinged with Tess had been a shock to the system that had jerked him off the usual beaten path.

Still, he waited for that nearly overwhelming anxious sensation that left his entire body buzzing—but it never appeared. Instead, it was a little hum, barely noticeable and more like a memory.

“I’m good,” he said, meaning it. “How about you?”

“I’ve been working on a few things here and there.” Marti glanced over at a guy with dark hair who looked like he bench-pressed Volvos and her cheeks flushed.

Cole gave the other guy a harder look, not out of jealousy but because despite everything, Marti was still his friend and always would be. The big guy looked like trouble.

“You aren’t going to end up in jail, are you?” he asked, turning back to Marti.

She gave him a wicked grin and winked. “Only if I get caught.”

Cole couldn’t hold it in anymore. The laugh escaped from him like a dam breaking, pulling the attention of people around them. It was just too ridiculous. The Marti he’d known for years was more likely to turn into Martha Stewart with a killer softball pitching arm than even think about jaywalking, let alone anything really illegal.

“It’s kind of crazy how things have turned out for us, huh?” she asked with a sentimental sigh. “Who would have thought? But I’m glad, though. Everything works out the way it needs to when we just open ourselves up to change. So tell me everything about the situation with your adorable date tonight.”

How in the world was he supposed to answer that when he wasn’t sure himself? “It’s complicated.”

Marti shrugged a shoulder. “So unravel it.”

“You of all people know how difficult that can be. I had my whole life planned out. Play hockey, get drafted, be with you. Now? That seems completely ridiculous—no offense.”

She threw back her head and laughed. “None taken—we were each other’s mac and cheese. We were comfort food.”

It wasn’t the analogy he’d have made, but he got where she was coming from. They were used to each other. That was all. “Everything has changed. I’m on the second line, struggling, and Tess is like an entire fireball of change that makes the rest of it look unimportant. She’s everything I never expected and definitely never planned for and I don’t know how I feel about that.”