Awk-Weird (Ice Knights, #2)(23)
And it was official. He was a giant dick. “You’re not.”
“That’s sweet of you to say.” She scooped up Kahn, who started purring almost immediately, and walked out of the kitchen.
Cole stood there in the middle of the white-on-white-on-white room, a feeling sinking in that he was missing something and not only did he not know how to find it, he didn’t know what it was.
Chapter Seven
Who would have thought almost killing Cole wouldn’t have been the worst part of Tess’s day? Nope, that honor belonged to the momzilla of the bride standing in the middle of Forever in Bloom with that I’m-so-annoyed-my-Botox-might-malfunction look.
In the past thirty minutes, the soon-to-be bride, Christine, and her very involved mom, Valeria, had debated the five sample bouquets Tess had created for the big day. Of course, “debated” meant Christine had made her pick in twelve-point-two seconds while Valeria had spent the remaining time explaining over and over again that while none of the bouquets was really up to par, the one with the daisies was just the most awful choice.
“I know Christine asked for daisies and I totally warned her it was probably the wrong choice, but even she has to see it now that you’ve put together the sample bouquet,” Valeria Henson said, her upper-crust Harbor City accent managing to reach levels of patronizing that Tess hadn’t realized were possible. “It’s not you—of course I’m sure you tried—but this is just all wrong.”
The bouquet of white gerbera daisies, golden sunflowers, yellow roses, and pale asters mixed in with some gorgeous greenery—tied together with a thick ribbon of burlap—wasn’t for every bride. It definitely wasn’t for the woman whose high-end fashion labels had labels, but for her daughter, who looked like being uptown was the last thing she ever wanted? Yeah, the bouquet fit her relaxed vibe perfectly. Not that Christine was saying that. Instead, she just stared daggers at her mom’s back and let out little huffs of frustration.
The ride over the bridge and back into Harbor City for these two was going to be awkward as hell. The secondhand embarrassment of even imagining what their trip home was going to be like had Tess reaching into the ever-present swirl of factoids in her head to pull out a few that could distract from the oh-my-God-people-are-the-worst uncomfortableness of the moment.
“Daisies were Freya’s flower in Norse mythology,” Tess blurted out. “She was the goddess of beauty and love. Today, daisies are sometimes given to new moms because Freya was also the goddess of fertility.”
Valeria took a step back, managing to give her a look that was a mix of annoyance and confusion about whether Tess was mentally all there. It wasn’t the first time she’d gotten that look from people. Hell, it was a big part of the reason why she limited her peopling as much as possible.
Tess braced herself for a stinging retort like her uncle Raymond was famous for delivering, but Valeria’s eyes rounded and she spun around to face her daughter.
“I knew it,” she said with an offended gasp. “That’s why you’re insisting on this country bumpkin bouquet. You just threw away all our plans and got pregnant by this totally inappropriate man. He’s not part of our circle. He doesn’t even belong to our club! How did this happen?”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Tess gripped the bouquet tight enough that the scratchy burlap ribbon pricked her palms. If there was anything worse than having to deal with people, it was dealing with their messy emotions. It was just…ugh. Maybe they’d pull it in and wait until they got home to deal with the thornbush she’d accidentally tossed them into by—once again—saying the wrong thing.
“Well, young lady,” Valeria said, her righteous demand for answers yanking Tess back into the hellscape of the here and now. “I raised you to always know your place. How did this happen?”
Christine uncurled herself from her chair situated between two hot-pink hibiscus trees, a dangerous gleam in her heavily lined eyes. “I fucked him, Mother. A lot. All over the beach house, the club cabana, and the penthouse.” She took three steps toward Valeria, each move a warning. “From now on, when you walk into any room, you’ll be wondering if I was on my knees sucking his cock in there, and the answer is yes. I did, and it was fabulous.”
Valeria’s only answer to that truth bomb was a sharp gasp.
Unable to stop the factoid flow brought on by so much raw emotion, Tess gushed onward. “Sunflowers symbolize adoration and longevity.” She set the bouquet down on the counter with shaky hands as if this was just another normal day instead of a mother-daughter grudge match that would make MMA fighters back down because it was too vicious. “Asters are all about love and patience, but they used to be thought of as a magical flower and that you could drive away evil by burning them.”
“Don’t suppose you have a match?” Christine’s question was directed at Tess but was 100 percent said for her mother’s benefit.
Valeria let out an offended harrumph. “Well, if that’s the way you feel about it, then you can pay for this wedding yourself.”
Tess squeezed her eyes shut. Could she just sneak into the back or was that too chickenshit? Which just happens to have been used figuratively for cowardice since at least 1929. She held her mouth closed hard enough that her lips hurt. Shut up, weirdo brain. Also, to get to her office, she’d have to walk right through the mother-daughter war zone, and that wasn’t happening.