Archenemies (Renegades #2)(98)

Nova’s mouth hung open. Her mind had gone blank and she was trying to formulate a response based on logic and strategy, and what would Ace want her to do, and would this be good for her cause or not, and how would this change anything, but all she could think about was how adorable Adrian was when he was nervous.

And also …

He still likes me.

Despite all the rejected advances, all the awkward silences. She’d been so sure he had moved on after the painful end to their non-date at the carnival, and yet … this. Not just to ask her to be his date, but to look so downright eager about it.

“Okay,” she whispered.

She would figure out the strategy later.

Adrian’s face brightened. “Okay?” With a confirming nod, he settled against the back of the couch again, returning his arm to her shoulders. He exhaled. “Okay.”

Nova settled against him again, and a part of her wanted to be happy, but all she felt was dread.

She was going to get that helmet, and Ace Anarchy would return to power. The Renegades would fall. Society would be responsible for teaching its own children, planting its own vegetables, and they would be stronger for it. Better for it.

And Nova would be stronger and better too.

Soon, she would be done with lying. She would be done with secrets.

And Adrian would be done with her.

On the screen, the man had just entered the temple. His body was silhouetted in the massive doors as the snow gusted around him.

She tried to quiet her thoughts. She tried to reorient herself on what had to be done.

She had come here for the Vitality Charm. The thought crossed her mind that she could just ask Adrian about it, and she knew he would probably loan it to her, especially if she told him she wanted to visit Max.

But, no, if all went well, she would be wearing that charm as Nightmare, not Insomnia, and the fewer clues that connected her to her alter ego, the better.

“Nova?” he said, so quietly she almost thought she imagined it.

She turned her head up.

Adrian held her gaze for all of half a second, before he leaned down and kissed her.

Nova gasped against his mouth, overcome not just with surprise, but also by the current that jolted through every nerve.

Adrian pulled away, worried again. His eyes were a question. His lips an invitation.

Nova’s mouth felt abandoned. The kiss had been too short and already her hands were itching to touch him, her entire body aching to move closer.

Though she knew what she had to do and she knew this was a terrible idea, she reached her hand behind his neck and pulled his mouth back to hers.

The kiss escalated fast. Hesitant curiosity and then, from nowhere, a desperate, unfulfilled need. To be closer. To kiss deeper. To touch his face, his neck, his hair. Adrian’s arms circled her waist and he pulled her across him, turning Nova’s body so she was cocooned in his arms.

He hissed suddenly and jerked away.

Nova’s eyes snapped open, her heart catapulting into her throat. Adrian’s features were contorted in pain. “Adrian?”

“Nothing,” he said through his teeth, one hand pressing against his side. His face softened again as he peered at her.

“What—”

“Nothing,” he repeated, and then he was kissing her again, and concerns about whatever had hurt him dissolved. Nova was shaking, overwhelmed by so much physical contact all at once. His lips. A hand in her hair, another against her ribs. Her body half draped across his lap, his heartbeat drumming against her chest, and his lips, great skies, his lips …

And still, that voice whispered in the back of her mind, reminding her why she was there despite how she wanted to ignore it.

Adrian’s fingers curled against the back of her head. She was reclined so far now that she felt the arm of the couch beneath her shoulders. Nova squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to believe that this was the whole world. Just Adrian Everhart and every one of his magical touches.

But still, that relentless voice persisted, reminding her that this wasn’t real. This could never be where she belonged. Adrian Everhart was not meant for her and she was certainly not meant for him.

Except—that voice faded into background noise, replaced with the heat from his mouth and the press of his arms, and another, quieter voice made itself known. A voice that could have been trying to catch her attention ever since the first moment she had met Adrian and her heart had lurched at the sight of his open smile.

Why not?

Why couldn’t she belong here? Why couldn’t she have this? She would simply never go back. She would go on pretending to be Nova McLain, Renegade, for the rest of her life. No one would ever have to know. This could be real.

She kissed Adrian harder, and he moaned in response. If she could just hold him tight enough … If she could just make this moment last …

Bang. Bang.

Her eyes shot open. Adrian didn’t seem to notice, his fingers having discovered at that moment the bared skin of her waist. Nova trembled from the sensation, from the overwhelming convergence of too many desires crashing into her all at once.

The quiet voice of dissent was buried fast beneath her rising guilt. No, no, no. To choose Adrian would be to abandon the Anarchists, to abandon Ace.

BANG.

Choosing Adrian would be to abandon any chance of retribution for Evie and her parents.

Nova squeezed her eyes shut, tighter than before, hoping to block out the noise of the gunshots as her purpose became clear again. As she remembered why she was there. Why she was really there.