Anyone But Rich (Anyone But..., #1)(77)

I squealed and swatted at him, but I was no match when I was laughing. He tackled me to the ground and then rolled off me so we were both lying on our backs. “You’re a child,” I said.

“Then you’re a pedophile.”

I groaned. “You know, sometimes I actually wonder if you and your brother switch places without telling anyone. One minute you can be so serious and so smart, and then the next you’re just a complete goof.”

“Cade’s not really that different. I think everybody hides behind something. For him, it’s humor.”

“What does he have to hide?”

“Maybe you can ask him someday.”

I slapped Rich’s arm. “I’m your wife. Are you sure you’re allowed to keep secrets from me?”

“Cade and Nick are the only ones with a right to tell you their stories, if they ever choose to.”

“I wasn’t really being serious,” I said. I felt bad when I saw how intense Rich looked. “I mean, I was curious, but when—”

“It’s not a big deal. You know what is a big deal, though? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what you look like when you’re naked in the moonlight.”

“Rich,” I said with a hint of warning. “Not the best idea.”

He stood. “What? Why not.” Rich yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it to the grass.

“Rich!” I said, hurrying to try to cover him back up.

“Too late!” He pulled his pants down until he was only in his boxers.

That was exactly the moment when Iris and Miranda pulled up.

Rich dove face-first to the ground for his shirt and tried to get it on, but he ended up getting his head stuck in one of the armholes as Miranda and Iris came out of their car. Conveniently, they had parked so their headlights were still glaring on my half-naked husband.

“I get it now,” Iris said. “You invited us up here because you’re exhibitionists now? You wanted us to watch you two go wild out here or something?” She looked at Rich, who was hopping on one leg with his head completely trapped in the armhole of his shirt. “Or maybe this is an interpretive dance thing?”

“If that’s Rich’s version of dancing, he really is a perfect match for Kira.”

I helped Rich get his clothes back on while Iris and Miranda watched with amused little smirks.

“Okay,” I said, looking between everyone to make sure I had their attention. “I wanted everyone to come here because we never officially nullified the promise.”

“Seriously?” Miranda asked. “Don’t you think this is a bit dramatic?”

“No. Because Rich is my husband now, which means his brothers are my brothers-in-law. Which means I need my best friends to not be like hissing cats around my brothers-in-law, because I don’t need any more awkward in my life.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “I’m fine nullifying the promise, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to whack Cade in the balls with my nightstick the next time he tries to talk to me.”

Miranda crossed her arms and glared at the grass.

“Miranda . . . ,” I said.

“Fine. It doesn’t really matter either way. It’s just an old, stupid promise we made.”

“It wasn’t stupid when you two were beating me over the head with it a couple months ago.”

“Fair point,” Iris said.

“I’m not here to be a human sacrifice or something, am I?” Rich asked.

“No,” I said. “You’re here because you’re my husband, and I don’t like doing things alone anymore. I needed a car ride, buddy.”

Rich pursed his lips. “I see.”

“Okay, so . . . do we all unswear it?” I asked.

“That’s what we’re going with?” Iris asked. “Unswear? Seems kind of second grade.”

“If you have a better word, feel free to jump in.”

Iris thought on that for a second. “I abolish my former promise.” She spoke with a smug, self-satisfied smile. “Don’t worry, it’s legal-speak. Police stuff. I don’t expect you to understand it, but it’s much more formal than unswear.”

“I take back the promise,” Miranda said.

“Me too. Obviously,” I said with a nod toward Rich. “Well! Feels good, right? Now we can all put the past behind us?”

“Yahoo,” Iris droned. “By the way, what are the chances you’ll tell me the story behind this violent pooper legend I’ve heard whispers of?”

I could already feel my cheeks burning at the memory. “The chances are zero. I’ll never talk about it again.”

Iris scoffed but seemed to accept that she wouldn’t get the story out of me.

“As fun as this is, I gotta head out,” Miranda said.

“Yeah. Catch you guys later,” Iris said.

Rich came up behind me once they were gone, and we were alone again. “Did that go how you wanted?”

“Kind of? I think they’ll come around. It’ll be like it was with you. They’re just stubborn.”

“What is it you’re hoping will happen if they come around, exactly?” He turned me gently toward him by pressing his fingertip against my chin and moving my face up. I thought he might kiss me any second, but he was just watching me with those heavy, all-consuming eyes of his.