Anyone But Rich (Anyone But..., #1)(48)

“Never did the deed?” Cade finished. “Rich really didn’t have much of an effect on you, did he? Poor guy.”

I shook my head. “It would’ve been easy if he didn’t. None of this has been easy.”

“In all seriousness,” Cade said. “Would you be able to make these for men with small penises? I promised Rich I’d knit his cock a sweater a few weeks ago, but it looks like you could save me the trouble. I’m thinking something that’d fit maybe two inches? Actually, we better make it one and a half. No point trying to boost his ego and giving him something that’ll be way too big.”

I looked at Stella for help.

She just shrugged and shook her head. “Sometimes it’s easier to just pretend you didn’t hear him.”

“Uh, I can hear you,” Cade said.

She turned to look icily at him. “If only your brain worked as well as your ears.”

He scrunched up his face. “Last time I checked, the only reason ears work is because they’re connected to the brain. So, yeah, don’t feel so smart now, do you?”

“When I’m forced to talk to you? No. I don’t feel smart at all.”

He sniffed victoriously and resumed searching through the sweaters.

“I’m not sure what you want me to do,” I said. “Even if I did want things to work between Rich and me, it’s not like I can just go knock on his door and beg him to take me back.”

“You could,” Stella said slowly. “But I have a plan that’s a little more elegant. If you’re interested, that is.”





Chapter 18





RICH


I waited in front of the restaurant where I was supposed to meet Stella, Cade, and Nick. As usual, they were all late. By now, I should’ve learned to save myself the trouble and show up to any arrangement at least ten minutes late, but the thought alone made me clench my teeth with stress.

The night was pleasantly warm. I leaned against one of the support poles beneath the restaurant’s pavilion and watched groups arriving for dinner. Most of the guests were couples, but one large business party did pass by. Gradually, my thoughts wandered to Kira, even though I’d been trying to train myself not to think of her.

Tough decisions. That was what I did best. I’d always been good at bottling things up. I took a kind of pride in it. I felt like the shield for my brothers. I absorbed the harsh truths of what we did to make Sion successful and let them live guilt-free. I took all the negativity and shoved it deep down where I didn’t have to think about it.

Doing the same with Kira had been like a reflex. I’d thought about the problems it would cause for us to be together. I knew my parents well enough to know they wouldn’t stop at sabotaging my business to prove their point. They’d come down on Kira too. I’d be putting everyone I cared about at risk, and for what? Love? Did I even know what the fuck love was?

I knew I couldn’t stop thinking about Kira. I wasn’t hiding behind the idea that I needed her forgiveness anymore. That wasn’t what drove me to chase her all this time. I was chasing the way I felt around her. Success and money had jaded me, but not around her. She looked straight through the bullshit with me. She let me feel like a person instead of an idea.

Gradually watching yourself melt into some unrecognizable average was an inevitability of celebrity status. You stopped getting the chance to make first impressions. Your every action was not only up for interpretation, but it was also subjected to “expert” analysis. People would speak from a place of imagined authority about you and shape the way others saw you. It was maddening if you thought too hard about it.

When people think they know you before they meet you, you’re always living in the shadow of someone else’s ideal. I’d lost track of the number of women who’d loved “me” before they met me. Nothing I did could convince them otherwise. Relationships felt empty. I couldn’t connect with somebody who was more interested in who they wanted me to be than who I was.

But that was not Kira.

Kira had given me the choice to screw things up if I wanted to but also the chance to make them good. And just when they were finally going well, I’d let reflexes and fear kick in. I’d fucked everything up.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I willed all those thoughts down deep where they could join the rest of my regrets. What was done was done.

“Hey,” a woman said in my ear.

I jolted upright and opened my eyes. “Kira?” I asked.

She gave a little shrug and a shy smile. “Surprise?”

“What are you doing here?” I looked around quickly, noting how many people were around and how many of them were probably already planning to spread a new rumor at the first opportunity.

“Stella and Cade helped set this up. I’m sorry. I felt bad tricking you, but they thought this was the best way.”

My hand was on her cheek before I realized it had moved. I pulled it back and frowned, but Kira gripped me by the wrist and pulled it back, leaning into my touch.

One gesture. One surge of warmth from her skin. That was all it took.

I pulled her into a tight hug and threaded my fingers through her hair. “I’m glad you came.”

“Good.” She laughed into my chest. “Because I didn’t have anything fancy enough for this place and I had to buy this skirt. I guess I can take the tags off now.”