Anyone But Rich (Anyone But..., #1)(30)

“I’m here to see Rich.”

She arched an eyebrow, which she somehow managed without even wrinkling her smooth forehead. “That’s a pity. I was hoping you’d come for me.”

My lips compressed into a worried little pouch. Had I imagined it, or did she enunciate that strangely, like she was talking about an entirely different kind of coming?

What was she playing at? Was this some sort of rich-person-power-struggle game? Do women who are interested in the same guy have some kind of flirt-off to decide who gets him?

“With some convincing, maybe I would,” I said. I swallowed hard, replayed what I’d just said, and made a mental note to strike that from my permanent memory banks if I ever had a chance.

She laughed. It was a tinkling, dignified sound. She put her long fingers on the small of my back and slid me into the house, letting the door close behind us. “Be careful with me,” she said. “I’ve got a reputation for being persuasive, and you’re tempting me to be very persuasive.”

I forced my eyes not to drop from hers when she turned to face me. We were in the foyer, but I was too tangled in the strange, confusing game she was playing to notice anything else. I still had no idea what was going on, but an instinctual part of me didn’t want to lose the game I may or may not have been playing, and I definitely didn’t want to seem poor and uncultured.

Maybe the smartest course of action was to remain silent and wait for Rich to hear the commotion. Although I could hardly call the sultry, smoky sound of Stella’s voice or my panicked breaths a commotion.

Stella tilted her chin down and took a step closer. She traced my jaw with her fingertip, considering me with those cold eyes. “Cocks are overrated. And men are dicks. All of them. Especially Rich.”

I nodded a little shakily. “People named Rich used to go by Dick, for short, after all.”

The corner of her mouth twitched up into a grin. “You’re saying Rich’s dick is short? I’d always wondered, to tell the truth. If you believe his twin brother, their dicks are the size of fallen trees.”

“Is a fallen tree any bigger than a standing tree?” I was desperate to change the subject. I was even starting to consider if I could outrun her, but her legs looked long, and I had a wild guess that whatever she did for exercise had her in better shape than my daily routine of not breaking two miles per hour except in the event of an absolute emergency, like getting to the microwave before the popcorn burned.

She laughed in that tinkling way again. “Well, not if it leaves behind a stump, I suppose.”

“There is that. Maybe Cade was actually saying their dicks were the size of the stump of a fallen tree, not the—”

“Talking about my dick again?” asked Rich. “And get your hands off her, Stella. She’s not for you.”

Stella took an unhurried step back and made a tsk sound. “I don’t think she’s for you either.”

“Kira is here to teach me to direct a play.” Rich made the declaration like he was choosing to take up some obscure, quirky hobby.

“Codirect,” I corrected. “And not by choice.”

“I may have coerced her into coming, yes. But you would coerce someone who was drowning to get out of the water, wouldn’t you?”

Stella tilted her head at him. “I can’t imagine what point you’re trying to make, but I can see you’re trying to make one.”

“That coercion isn’t always bad.”

“Except it usually is,” I said. “And in this case, it’s bad.”

“Details!” Rich said loudly. “Come on. We’ve got a lot to learn and not a lot of time to learn it. Stella, you stay away. I saw the way you were looking at Kira, and you can’t have her.”

“Since when do I listen to you?” Stella asked. She trailed after us as I followed Rich deeper into the house.

“Not often. Starting with when I’d asked you to stay at your own place tonight.”

Stella saw the look of utter confusion on my face and decided to take mercy. “Rich and I are pretending to be an item. It keeps our parents from meddling. I’m only interested in women. Especially ones who have a kind of sexy librarian thing going on.” She reached to touch my shirt, but Rich casually swatted her hand away.

“What the hell is with people calling me a librarian lately?”

“A sexy librarian,” Rich added, as if it mattered.

“Are librarians a fetish that nobody told me about?” I asked.

Stella planted her elbows on the kitchen island and leaned in toward me. “I could tell you about some of my fetishes, if—”

“Out,” Rich said. He jabbed his finger toward the other room. “You had your fun. Now go.”

Stella shrugged. “I was only teasing. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Kira. I forget how I must come across to people who don’t know me.”

“It’s okay, really.”

“Careful,” Rich said. “She’s like a chameleon. When one tactic doesn’t work, she’ll just try another. She wants to lull you into thinking she’s kind and sweet now.”

She stuck her tongue out at Rich, then winked at me. “He only thinks he understands me. Oh, and don’t eat anything he offers to cook for you. He’s a horrible cook.”