Anyone But Rich (Anyone But..., #1)(21)

“I’m fine, why? What did you—” My eyes widened. I replayed the group of teachers I’d fast walked by on my way out of the restroom. I thought about what I’d left behind. The pieces clicked together in my brain and my stomach sank.

“People are talking about some ‘violent pooper.’ It’s ridiculous, but I heard they saw you looking pretty distressed on your way out of the restroom, and—”

The sound of Rich’s stifled laughter stabbed through me like knives. I looked past Mrs. Bosch and had no doubt Rich’s ears were keen enough to pick up every whispered word.

“This is insane,” I said quickly. “I’m not the violent pooper, okay? I had to pee, I went in there, and it was already like that. I came here to use a bathroom that wasn’t desecrated, and that’s all I know.”

She squeezed my shoulder and gave me a tight-lipped, sympathetic smile. “Of course, sweetie. Just let me know if you need anything, okay? I have some antacids in my room if you need them next time.”

I watched her walk away and then slowly looked back to Rich, who was looking at me with unhidden amusement.

“The violent pooper?” he asked. “Wow. That’s quite the title. Do I need to meet with your PR rep next time I want to talk? Get a press badge or something?”

“I’m telling the truth,” I said.

“I believe you. Mostly. Though seven years can change a person. And their digestive system.”

“Rich,” I said warningly.

He smiled. “I’m kidding, Kira. I believe you. And I’ll swear on a Bible it wasn’t you when the mobs come for justice, okay?”

“Yeah, you’re a real saint. Is there a reason you keep showing up at my school at the worst possible times?”

“Yes, actually. I had a chat with your father a few days ago, and he gave me a great idea. It took a little digging, but I hear the theater department is pretty desperately in need of funding.”

“No,” I said immediately. “I see where this is going, and no.”

“What? You’re going to deprive your students of the chance to have a great show over a personal grudge?”

“If that’s what it takes. I’m not letting this happen.”

“I thought you might say that. So I also took the liberty of packaging my offer for the theater department with some renovations to the football fields, the tennis courts, the cafeteria, and the library. I just need every department to sign off on the donations, and we’ll be golden. So you can probably see how it’d look if the theater department was the one thing standing between the school and all that funding.”

I glared at him. “So this is your great idea? You’ll get me to forgive you by being an unforgivable ass again?”

“I’m not sure I see the problem, Kira. I’m offering to give money to your department and your school. I never even said I’d be involved. Hell, I never said you’d have to see me to get a dime of it. Where’s the part where this makes me an ass?”

“So you’re saying you’ll just give us all this money, no questions asked?”

A slow grin spread his lips, and I hated how good it looked on him. “Well, I didn’t quite say that either.”



I called an emergency meeting with Iris and Miranda that night.

Iris had to work, and the only way I could get her ear was if Miranda and I rode in the back of her police cruiser while she was out on patrol. Iris was parked by a busy intersection in the grass. To her credit, she was actually watching the traffic with her radar gun aimed across the dash while we talked, even if we weren’t technically supposed to be riding along with her.

“I don’t like it,” Iris said. “Anyone with half a brain can see what he’s trying to accomplish from a mile away.”

“I agree,” Miranda said. “He’s making a prostitute of you, Kira. Think about it.”

I laughed. “Oh, come on. That is completely ridiculous.”

“No, she’s right,” Iris said. “He’s not asking you to spread ’em and bed ’em yet, but once he’s pumped enough money into your program to get you feeling in his debt, he’s going to expect it.”

I shook my head. “It’s not just my program he’s giving money to.”

“You’re in denial,” Miranda said. “You said he’s going to personally oversee the way you use the budget for the theater program. Do you think someone like him actually cares what you do with a few thousand dollars?”

“Okay, fine. I admit it’s suspicious, and I admit he’s definitely trying to pull something. But can’t you two have a little faith in me? Just because Rich is trying to insert himself into my life, it doesn’t mean I’m going to start liking him.”

Iris clicked her tongue and set down the radar gun. “It’s not your life he’s trying to insert himself into.” She made a circle with her thumb and forefinger before sliding her index finger in and out, as if I didn’t already get her point. “Besides, last time I checked, you don’t have to like a guy to give him a blow job.”

Miranda choked out a laugh. “Iris!”

Iris grinned. “I’m not talking from personal experience, obviously. I’m just saying. Hate and love are more similar than people realize. Spend all your energy thinking about someone, even if it’s because you wish they’d choke on a hot dog, and you’re bound to confuse your heart.”