And There He Kept Her (Ben Packard #1)(32)

“I’m coming with you,” she said.

“You are absolutely not coming with me.”

“Jenny’s been gone two whole days. We’re entering the red zone as far as her diabetes goes if she doesn’t have access to her supplies.”

“You told me two days ago you weren’t certain that she didn’t take extra insulin with her.”

Susan let out a frustrated sigh. “Don’t repeat things back to me that I said. I know what I said. This isn’t about how much insulin she has in her pump.” Susan reached into her bag and started pulling out boxes of medical supplies as she talked, banging them on the table. “This is an infusion set. It needs to be replaced every two or three days to avoid infection. This is the insertion device for the infusion set. She needs reservoirs. She needs medical tape. She needs to replace her CGM sensor. This is the inserter for the sensor. She needs to charge her transmitter.” She pulled out the padded portfolio he’d last seen in his office and unzipped it again to show him everything inside. “Needles, swabs, glucose monitor, test strips. Listen to me when I tell you this is not just about the goddamn insulin!”

Those were more words that he’d heard Susan say at once since he’d moved back to town. Packard leaned back, surveying the pile of boxes and strange plastic between them. “Why are you carrying all of this?”

She looked at him like he was an idiot. “In case I find her.”

***

Packard finished his sandwich while Susan repacked everything she’d taken out of her messenger bag.

“Tell me more about Jenny,” he said between bites.

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about her personality. Her interests. We’re family, but I don’t know a thing about her.”

He thought he saw Susan flinch at the word family. It hadn’t occurred to him that it might have a different connotation for her. “She’s got my analytical mind and her father’s extroverted personality. She’s smart and she knows it. She can easily back you into a decision without you knowing you’re being led.”

“She does that to you?”

“No. I’m still much smarter than her. I can see her coming.”

“If she’s so smart, what does she see in Jesse? He’s probably an average student at best. Part-time drug dealer, it appears.”

“What does anyone see in anybody? What does she see in him?” She pointed at an elderly couple in a booth across from theirs. He was staring out the window. She was eating potato chips at the speed of a tree sloth. “What do you see in the hairy guy on your phone?” Susan asked.

Packard put his hand over his phone. “I don’t… Forget about that.”

“I’m the wrong person to ask about why people get together,” Susan said. “Tom was attracted to me when we met. I went out with him because I was interested in his usefulness. Yes, I grew to love him. Having feelings of love and affection for someone has its own uses.”

“Sean White Cloud used almost those exact words when he described your relationship. He said you had a use for him.”

Susan was unapologetic. “It’s easier for me if people know what I expect from them.”

Packard wondered how much like her mother Jenny was. What use did she have for Jesse? Did he get her out of the house, out of her head, when everything was going south with her dad? It wouldn’t matter what kind of student he was if that was the case. If he had access to drugs—another kind of escape—even better.

Packard said, “Jenny’s not home. She’s not in touch with her friends. What is she missing the most?”

“Her phone. It’s practically her whole world. Texting. Social media. The camera. Music. She was in the chorus until it wasn’t cool anymore. Music, audiobooks, and podcasts are her favorite things. There are audiobook readers whose books she listens to regardless of what the book is about. She’s got an interest in using her voice in some way. Drama, singing, voice work.”

“Any interests you two share or do together?”

“Almost nothing. I can get her to play tennis every once in a while. She works at the restaurant when she needs money, but she’s definitely not into cooking. Or cycling. She wants nothing to do with my interests.”

“Are you sure she isn’t furious at you over Sean White Cloud? Mad enough to run away?”

Susan thought for a second. “I don’t know that for sure. No.”

***

Susan handed Packard a flyer before putting the rest in her bag. He gathered up his trash and followed her outside. It wasn’t until she grabbed the helmet hanging from the handlebars of a bike leaned against the building that he realized she was going around town with her flyers on her bike.

“I’ve been wanting to ask why you and Tom decided to move to Sandy Lake. You could have opened a restaurant anywhere. Even before what happened with my brother, I never really could tell whether you enjoyed coming here as a kid or not.”

Before Nick disappeared, Packard had loved every day at the lake, reading Hardy Boys books on the screened porch and riding bikes on gravel roads to the bar by the railroad tracks that let them buy sodas and play Ms. Pac-Man. When he was older, his activities were more clandestine—stealing beer and trying pot. He spent long, humid nights thinking about the older boys on the lake going in and out of the water like otters in wet swimsuits that kept no secrets.