Always(Time for Love Book 4)(3)

And, of course, he was stupid enough to ask the question that confirmed she did like Lance enough to expect something serious down the line. Heck, she was probably falling in love with the man already.

Yesterday, when Brenna had cut his heart to pieces by bringing a date to Rebecca and Zach’s wedding, he’d made another promise to himself that he’d finally move on. For Brenna to bring a boyfriend to an occasion as important as her best friend’s wedding was a big deal.

But when he’d heard her say a while ago that she and Lance weren’t serious, he’d stupidly let hope flare in his heart again.

Carrying her in his arms had been an impromptu decision, like his plan to try one more time to give her strong hints about his feelings for her. But just like before, his intentions were foiled by her words and actions.

There had been plenty of times in the past when he’d tried to tell her that she was someone very special to him. Problem was, no matter what he’d said and done, Brenna had only ever taken his words and actions as friendly, or even worse, brotherly—which had always stung like hell and had him retreating. If she’d shown even a single ounce of interest, he would have pushed through. But, nope, nothing in Brenna’s responses had indicated she had any romantic notions about him—not even a tiny bit.

If Brenna weren’t such an old and close friend, he would have wooed her hard ages ago. But their friendship was a gift as well as a curse. The fear of it being broken, or even threatened, had him holding back from expressing his true feelings. That, and the knowledge that if he did fully confess, he’d only end up hurting the both of them. He knew Brenna wouldn’t want to hurt him with her rejection, and he didn’t want to force her hand. What was more, there were his sister and their other best friends to worry about. Whatever happened between him and Brenna would most certainly affect them too.

Why, oh why, did he have to fall in love with this woman? There was nothing he could do but to keep trying to move on. Every day he wished that he’d finally meet the one person who’d make him forget about Brenna. So far, he hadn’t found her.

But he had to remain optimistic. If he wasn’t meant to be with Brenna, then there must be someone else out there for him, right?

He had to think like that. It was the only thing that enabled him to keep going—and stopped him from doing something stupid, like prostrating at Brenna’s feet and begging her to give him a chance.

Fortunately, he wasn’t exactly short on females propositioning him for dates. In fact, he’d started seeing a new one—a hairdressing salon owner he’d recently met at a colleague’s birthday party. Sophie had explicitly stated she didn’t want a serious relationship, that she was only after a fu-ck buddy. It suited him just fine, so they got together.

“Is the water cold, Ash?” Amanda called from a few metres away, dragging him out of his musing.

“Yup!”

“I’ll lend you some dry clothes, bro,” Connor said, which earned the man an adoring look from Amanda.

Ash smiled. At least his sister had found herself a great guy.

“So did you manage to wake Brenna up, Ash?” Gemma asked with a grin.

He shrugged. “My mistake. She was already very much awake,” he said lightly, following the others as they resumed walking.

It was really him who needed to wake up. Brenna was dreaming of a future, and it involved another man—not him. It was never him.

So why shouldn’t today be the day he did himself a huge favour? To accept once and for all that Brenna simply wasn’t interested in him? He was sure that the moment he fully embraced that fact—no matter how much it hurt—was the moment he’d start healing, and perhaps open his heart to someone else.

Yes, the time had come. It was now.

He took a deep breath and glanced surreptitiously at Brenna. God, she was beautiful. The breeze was whipping her long black hair around her face. And from where he was standing, he could fully admire those beautiful lashes that framed her gorgeous brown eyes. It was a pity she wasn’t his. And today, he finally got it. She’d never be his.

Silently, he said goodbye.

His heart squeezed and heavy sadness hit him as he mentally let go of the woman he’d loved for years. They’d still be friends. They’d always be friends. And he’d always be there for her if she needed him. Always.

But from now on, he’d keep his distance.

“I think I should head home,” he said casually to the group, not wanting his melancholy to be noticed by anyone.

“Why?” Amanda asked. “Connor’s clothes should fit you.”

“Uh.” Damn. He couldn’t think of a good enough reason.

Amanda linked her arm with his. “You have to stay, Ash. We’re all here—well, except for Bec and Zach—so we could celebrate my engagement.”

He gave his sister a fake bright smile and dutifully walked with the group to Connor and Amanda’s apartment. Unfortunately, he had no choice.

Nothing different from how you usually deal with it, Ash. Pretend Brenna’s just another one of your “adopted” sisters.

Yes, he was an expert in that particular pretense. Hopefully it would be much easier from here on in. Because from now on, there would be no more hoping. Years of hoping was tiring, and his heart was tired.





CHAPTER TWO