Alone (Bone Secrets, #4)(50)

He risked a glance at Tori. She was staring straight ahead, a serene look on her face. He wondered if she’d even felt him lose control of the car. The last time he’d seen her this mellow was during their dinner that night at the conference in Denver.

He’d spotted her at registration. He saw her from the back. She was bundled up in a coat, but he’d known right away it was her. His gaze had instantly locked on to the woman with the long black hair. Something about the way she carried herself had resonated in his bones. He knew her. He’d moved slowly in her direction, not letting her out of his sight as she accepted her badge and bag from the registrar. As she turned, she’d looked right at him and not blinked, her gaze locked with his. She hadn’t seemed surprised; perhaps she’d spotted him earlier and not reached out? It didn’t matter. All he wanted was to spend time with her.

They’d played it cool. Greeting each other like old acquaintances and agreeing to dinner like you would with an old friend to catch up. During the meal, she’d been pleasant but reserved. They’d shared the events of their lives, talking about their spouses, work, and Eden. They’d danced around the causes of the actual breakup, but she’d oohed and aahed over his pictures of his daughter with no anger or jealousy on her face. He’d hoped she could respect that he’d made the right choice. But after the dinner as they walked back to her hotel room, she’d stopped him in the hall at her door and looked deep into his eyes.

“I’ve always wondered if you thought about me. If you’d wondered what you walked away from. I know you love your daughter, but do you ever wonder what could have been with us?”

It’d been a surreal moment. One he blamed on wine and the removal of themselves from their real lives. That’s what happens at conferences. People are separated from their everyday routines and feel free to take steps they wouldn’t usually take.

She’d been gorgeous. Her eyes large and dark in the dim light, and she’d worn heels and a sexy dress. She’d never dressed that way in college. He was seeing Tori the woman wielding all her feminine weapons for the first time. And she took his breath away. She’d fulfilled all the potential she’d demonstrated in school. Smart, respected in her field, and all woman.

“Every f*cking day,” he’d uttered. And it was true. Things had never clicked with Jennifer; he’d often wondered what he’d walked away from.

Her eyes had closed as he spoke, and she’d exhaled, her shoulders slumping the tiniest bit, as if she’d held her breath for his answer. He stared at her mouth for a long second and then kissed her. He slid his hand around the back of her neck, closing the space between their bodies as he pressed her backward into the hallway wall. She wobbled in the heels as his body met hers from hip to chest, their lines melting into each other. The moment lasted forever as he explored her mouth and sank both his hands into her hair. Silk. Pure smooth silk. She gave a small moan in the back of her throat and relaxed against him.

His brain shot into overdrive and all rational thought exited. “Open your door,” he whispered against her lips.

She stiffened under his hands.

Seth froze. Too far.

He slowly extricated himself from her heat, holding her gaze. Anger and then sorrow shone in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she mouthed. No sound came from her lips.

“Tori,” he started, but she broke their eye contact and dug in her purse. She pulled out her room key, her hands shaking.

“We shouldn’t have had dinner.” Her words tripped over themselves. “I thought I could do this. I thought we could talk about old times and everything would be fine. I didn’t know we would end up like this. I won’t do that to my husband, and you shouldn’t do it to Jennifer and Eden.” She turned her back to him and fumbled with the door lock, trying to find the slot for her key. “I screwed up. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

“It’s not your fault, Tori,” he’d said, feeling utterly helpless. Why had he considered going in her room? He wanted to shoot himself. “I didn’t mean it.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes angry. “You just needed some sex?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Christ, I don’t know what I want.”

She pushed her door open and turned to face him, blocking him from the room. Her chin was up, her eyes fiery. “We’re both married, so I’d say we know what we want. We made our choices long ago. Well, you made the choice for us.”

His heart cracked at her words and the angry tone. Here was the elephant that’d been in the room with them at dinner. They’d delicately danced around the topic, but now she’d ripped it open and laid it before him. A gulf widened between them, spread apart by his past decision. He couldn’t fix it now.

“We’re married. And I think we’re both happy for the most part. I won’t apologize for something I did long ago. I made the only choice I could,” he answered.

Her face had paled, all emotion disappearing behind a cool mask. “Good night.” She stepped backward and shut the door in his face. He’d stood there for a long moment, hearing her heels click across the floor in her room, and then there was silence.

In the car, Seth knew Victoria was slightly buzzed from her wine at Lacey’s. She hadn’t eaten dinner that evening and had said she rarely drank more than one glass of wine. After the emotional group at Lacey’s house, he’d offered to drive her home and she’d readily accepted. She’d given Lacey and Trinity a hug good-bye. From Lacey’s faintly surprised look, he’d gathered that Tori wasn’t a hugger.