Alone (Bone Secrets, #4)(36)

“Seth.”

Victoria liked what she saw. When it came to Seth, she’d always liked his looks. At that conference, he’d caught her eye from fifty feet away before she’d mentally registered his identity.

A small chip fell off from the wall around her heart. “How’s your day so far? Anything fascinating?” she asked.

A startled look entered his eyes.

“What?” Victoria asked.

“You used to always ask me that. Phrased exactly that way.”

He was right.

It was an endearment she’d picked up from her parents. One she’d carried on when she dated Seth. And it was one she hadn’t used in a long time. She couldn’t recall if she’d used it with Rory. She’d developed a habit of not asking about his day because he would roll off a litany of complaints about lazy students and annoying staff. After a long day at the examiner’s office, she couldn’t bear to hear his bitterness.

But with Seth, it’d suddenly rolled off her tongue. She’d truly wanted to know what he’d done that day.

“I guess I’m a creature of habit,” she answered. “Or else nervous.”

“Do I make you nervous?” His dark blue eyes held hers.

Lacey was right. He did have a look of Pierce Brosnan about him. He had a leanness to his face sculpted by maturity. She could see the strong bones beneath his cheeks and forehead, and her mind automatically sketched the lines of his skull. It wasn’t a morbid thought; it was intimate. She considered it a gift to have the ability to look beyond a person’s skin and muscle to their foundation and see its beauty.

“You broke my heart,” she said quietly.

There. She’d said it.

Her pain flowed out of her chest, leaving a lingering sense of dizziness. She’d hoarded the pain for too many years. It’d been a crutch. She’d pull out her misery and lean on it to build up her icy walls. Walls to keep everyone at a distance. Now that she’d exposed the old hurt to its source, she was oddly empty. She was exposed, raw. And human.

He’d hurt her, and she’d bled deeply. For a very long time.

He broke their eye contact and inhaled, staring out at the glum rain as she had moments before. “I know.” He turned back to her, his eyes darker than a moment ago. “I’m sorry.” He started to say more, but abruptly stopped.

She didn’t want him to say more; she knew what he’d say.

Eden.

It’d taken some time, but she’d lost the initial anger that a baby had come between them. In fact, she’d been sad that Eden’s mother had kept Eden away from Seth at first. He’d missed her birth and the precious first few months of her life. He’d been the first person wronged in their relationship.

Seth had honor. She’d been attracted to that part of his character. Once he started pursuing her in college, he didn’t stop. Once he’d made up his mind about his area of study, he’d thrown 100 percent of himself into achieving it. When Victoria found out he had a daughter, she knew she’d lose him. She couldn’t stay angry at a man who’d done the right thing. He’d taken responsibility for his daughter and stood beside the mother.

Some men would choose to write a check and see their kid on the weekends. Not Seth. He had to be part of his daughter’s life. His father had abandoned him; he couldn’t do the same to his daughter. And Jennifer was happy to welcome him back. Who wouldn’t want to marry a medical student with a strong sense of commitment?

“Where are you at now?” she asked.

Seth knew exactly what she meant. “I’ve been living in an apartment for six months. I filed for divorce quite a while ago. It should be nearly done. Emotionally, I’ve been distant for years. We’re working through the actual physical distance.”

“How’s she handling it?” Victoria’s heart started to ice up again. She had to know where Seth and Jennifer stood. Were they really finished?

“Good in some ways. Rotten in others. She’d known it was coming for a long time. That didn’t mean she had to like it.”

“What are your plans?” She felt like a reporter asking questions.

“Live in Portland. Start life over.” His gaze held hers. There was no begging in his look. It was simply a man who’d made up his mind. If he said he was starting over, that was his goal and he’d achieve it.

Victoria’s mouth went dry. “You say that like you have the new job.”

“If I don’t get the position, there’s room here for another deputy examiner. Either way, I’m here to stay.”

The air left the small break room. She drew shallow breaths. “You left once,” she whispered, her fingers tightening on her coffee cup.

“It won’t happen again.”

Why didn’t his words reassure her?

“I don’t know what to think,” she blurted. “What are you saying?”

His gaze softened. “I’m saying let’s get to know each other again. We’ve got all the time in the world. Are you seeing someone? What happened with Rory?”

Victoria’s mind sped into overdrive, spinning out of control while her body froze in position. Seth wanted to start over. She’d known it the minute she’d seen him in the rain that night.

He wants me back.