Almost Just Friends (Wildstone #4)(69)

“Until you can wear it again, I’ll wear it for you,” Gavin said.

CJ’s smile faded. Looking unbearably touched, he nodded.

Gavin blew out a breath and read the med bottles. “You’re supposed to start these antibiotics right away.” He handed one over with the water and then turned to the pain meds.

“I don’t need any of those,” CJ said.

“Really? Cuz you’re shaking with pain, and you’re also paler than your sheets. Quite the feat for a Puerto Rican. Look, just take a damn pain pill. I’ll stay and watch over you—”

“No.”

“Why not?” Gavin asked, exasperated. Worried.

“Because you can’t have any pain meds, not ever again.”

And because he couldn’t, CJ wouldn’t allow himself to have any either. In solidarity. The surprising support had Gavin’s throat too tight to talk again. He slipped the bottle back into the pharmacy bag. “You weren’t supposed to even be on duty.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And you stepped in front of a bullet. You stepped in front of a goddamn bullet.”

“There were kids in there, Gav. A ten-year-old boy standing frozen in terror, not five feet from me. If I hadn’t charged that asshole with the gun . . .”

Then a kid might’ve gotten shot.

Gavin bolted up, staggered into the bathroom, and threw up. Now he was the one shaking and sweating, and also—oh, goodie—in full flashback mode, when he felt CJ drop heavily to his knees beside him and pull him in close.

Gavin didn’t even have the strength to fight him.

“You would’ve done the same thing,” CJ said quietly. “The bullet went right through me. I’m going to be fine.” He ran a hand down Gavin’s back. “Tell me what this is really about.”

Gavin dropped his head to CJ’s good shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. “Did I ever tell you why me and my sisters got sent home to Wildstone?”

CJ shifted so they were both leaning back against the wall, their legs out in front of them, their arms holding each other upright. “You know you haven’t,” he said quietly. “You’ve always said you don’t really remember, that you were too young.”

Back in the old days, Gavin had suffered horrible flashbacks. As his best friend, CJ had seen what Gavin was going through, but hadn’t understood why. He’d tried to get Gavin to open up, but he simply couldn’t. His grandma hadn’t believed in therapy, but when she’d passed, Piper had made him go.

It’d helped. A lot. But by that time, he’d already detonated his and CJ’s relationship.

And here they were, all these years later, and he still hated to talk about it. “You know my parents were killed overseas.”

CJ’s arms tightened around him. “Yes. And you and your siblings came here to Wildstone.”

Missing a lot of details, but that had allowed Gavin not to talk about what had preceded his parents’ deaths. “We lived in a village. The yard wasn’t fenced, it was basically just a clearing. Our boundaries were determined by the jungle. We weren’t allowed past the foliage. But, shit, you know I was an asshole.”

“Still are,” CJ said mildly, making Gavin laugh a little, which he supposed was what CJ had been going for.

“My best friend, Arik, and I didn’t like being confined,” he said. “So we made a plan. Or rather, I made the plan, knowing Arik would do whatever I wanted. We were going to wait until dark and sneak into the jungle and see what the big deal was.” He closed his eyes. “We ran into rebel forces. They shot at us for fun.” He realized he wasn’t breathing, so he sucked in some air. “Arik got hit.” His voice caught. “He died and it was my fault.”

CJ was quiet for a moment. Just sat there and slowly rubbed the tension from the back of Gavin’s neck before finally speaking. “So today played right into your demons.”

“Let’s just say that I’d give everything I own for a pill right about now. Luckily, I don’t own shit.”

“Arik wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. He went with you into the jungle of his own free will, and if he’s anything like your current best friend, you couldn’t have stopped him even if you’d tried.”

Gavin lifted his head, unable to worry about the tears he felt on his cheeks. “You think you’re my current best friend?”

“I know it.”

Gavin let out a long, shaky breath and nodded. “It’s more than I deserve.”

“You know what I think?”

“No, but I bet you’re about to tell me.”

CJ held his gaze. “So far, you’ve survived one hundred percent of your days. Which means you’re doing great.”

Gavin had to let out a low laugh. “Yeah, well, great is relative.”

CJ gave a small smile. Because the guy knew what he meant, maybe even more than Gavin. CJ had suffered through life plenty. His goddamn parents had forsaken him, just up and kicked him to the curb not five minutes after he’d been forced out of the closet by some cruel kids at school.

At least Gavin had known his parents had loved him.

CJ had no such comfort. And in spite of everything, he had the biggest heart of just about anyone he knew. And he was staring right at Gavin, daring him to take notice of him.