Almost Just Friends (Wildstone #4)(51)

Piper leaned back too, carefully not looking at the water. “Winnie’s working on the house. And Gavin’s taking on some small jobs.”

“And you’re telling me this because . . . ?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“We are, but I know you now,” he said. “You’re telling me this because you want me to open up as well.”

“Yes.” She smiled, but her eyes remained serious. “Because otherwise I’m risking heart failure for nothing out here.”

She wasn’t joking. He could see her pulse leaping at the hollow of her throat. “I’m fine, Piper.” A lie, of course. He wasn’t fine. He’d been going through Rowan’s things. A macabre task, but his dad had asked him for help packing it all. Memories were one thing. Walking past Rowan’s bedroom every single day, which was practically a shrine to him, was another.

So Cam had taken that task on for his dad, which was how he’d found the engagement ring Rowan had bought to give to Winnie. His chest hurt at the thought. “I packed up Rowan’s things today.”

“Oh, Cam.” Her expression said she was still flipping out on the inside, but she was determined to help him. She scooted closer so that they were thigh to thigh, whispering “Oh my God, oh my God” to herself the whole time, before very slowly lowering her feet over the side of the dock to match his position.

He brought himself out of his own head enough to be impressed. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

“Trying not to die? Then yes, I’m doing exactly what you think I’m doing.” She took a deep gulp of air. “We have this deal, a secret for a secret, right? So . . . I’m going to tell you another secret.”

“Now? While you’re shaking in your boots and trying not to throw up?”

She slid him a look.

He didn’t laugh, because she was serious.

“I’m afraid of the water,” she said.

“Hate to break it to you, but that’s still the same old secret you’ve pawned off on me three times now. I’m beginning to think you’re cheating.”

“Yes, but you asked what happened.” She paused. “I had a near miss here on the lake. Almost drowned.”

Ah, hell. Reaching out, he took her hand in his. “That would do it. When?”

“The year after my parents died. It was my fourteenth birthday party. My grandma had invited all my friends, and we spent the day outside by the lake. We were in canoes. I was with two other girls in one that was meant for only a single occupant.”

“Never good,” he said. “You rolled.”

“Oh, yeah. And panicked. One of the girls who I didn’t know very well held me down. She thought it was funny, but I was a terrible swimmer to begin with . . .” She shook her head. “I got turned upside down and couldn’t figure out which way was up, and I lost it. Spots were dancing around in my eyes, and just before everything went dark, I was scooped up and shoved to the surface.”

“The girl?”

“No. My grandpa.” She smiled a little. “He was sick and had been sitting on the porch of the house. He never paid any attention to us kids, but he had an eagle eye.” She shuddered with the memories. “It was the most terrifying moment of my life.” She paused. “He passed away shortly after that,” she said softly. “And I know it sounds melodramatic, but that was the last time I ever felt really safe.”

He thought about all she’d said, and all she hadn’t said. By age fourteen, she’d lost both of her parents and her grandpa. She’d been helping to raise her two younger siblings.

She’d never had a real childhood.

Chances were, that birthday party was the last time she’d ever been a kid or done something frivolous for herself. He squeezed her hard. “I’m feeling very grateful for your grandpa.”

That got him a small smile. “Me too.”

“And no wonder you hate birthday celebrations.”

She snorted. “No, I hate birthday celebrations because it reminds me that another year’s passed without any headway.”

“Toward what?”

She bit her lower lip.

“Is this about your secret and secret secret lists?” he asked.

“Some,” she admitted. “But now it’s your turn.”

Right. He nodded. Then he said the words that never failed to beat the shit out of him. “The car accident that killed Rowan? I was driving.”

She sucked in a breath. Still clutching his hand in hers, she brought it up to her heart. “Were you badly hurt?”

That her first words were worry for him told him everything he needed to know—she was far too good for him. “Not even a little bit,” he said, hearing the bitterness in his voice.

“Oh, Cam.” And with that, she crawled into his lap and hugged him so tight he couldn’t breathe. Or resist hugging her back. Then she set her head on his shoulder and did one of his favorite things. She let him be with his own thoughts. It was a rare beat of desperately needed quiet, and in that moment she was able to do for him what swimming the lake twice over hadn’t done.

Give him some badly needed peace.

PIPER FELT WHEN some of the terrible tension inside Cam drained a little. Not enough to suit her, though. He couldn’t walk around this way, she thought. It’d kill him.