Almost Dead (Lizzy Gardner #5)(93)

“Jared,” she said, her legs quaking before she fell to her knees by the side of the bed. “I can’t do it,” she cried. “I can’t go on without you.”

Tears held back for much too long came flooding forth.

Jared Shayne meant the world to her.

Jared understood her.

The fact that dreams of the life they would share together would never be fulfilled was too much to comprehend. She gulped for breath between sobs. Her arms curled around her waist, and she rocked.

While a future without Jared was not something she could consciously envision, in her dreams, she could see that world very clearly, and it was not a pretty sight. The world Lizzy inhabited had always been dark, but without Jared it was colorless—a vast expanse of scorched hillsides and splintered trees, a world without hope.

Lizzy wasn’t sure how long she remained on the floor, wrapped in grief, but it was quite a while before she could breathe normally.

She pushed herself to her feet, using the bed frame for support, and barely made it to the bathroom in time to puke until she had nothing left. She rinsed her mouth and washed her hands.

She walked back into the bedroom, glanced at the row of Jared’s shoes in his closet and then at the bed. Leaving the pillow where it lay on the floor, she worked the key to the house from her key ring and dropped it on top of the bed.

She left the bedroom, couldn’t stand to see any more.

With quiet steps, she made her way down the stairs, grabbed her bag, walked out the door and across the pathway to her car. She made no effort to extend so much as a backward glance before she climbed in behind the wheel.

They could do whatever they wanted with the house.

Burn it down.

She didn’t care.

With no clear idea of where she was going, she drove off. Not into the sunset but into the unknown—a black hole where no light could be found, only bleakness.





CHAPTER 66

Hayley stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looked at the closed door at the end of the hallway.

Every day for the past four days, Lizzy had sat inside that room. Hayley could hear the clacking of the keys on the computer from where she stood. If Kitally or Hayley tried to talk to her, Lizzy ignored them. It was as if nobody else existed. Papers, books, and notepads were piled high on the floor around her feet. The eraser end of a pencil was permanently lodged between her teeth, another pencil tucked behind her ear. Lizzy never used pencils, but she always kept one close.

Lizzy had eaten little. She had turned down every meal Kitally cooked up and offered her. She hardly ever came out of the office for food or water—at least not during the day. Usually Hayley heard her rustling around in the kitchen sometime around three in the morning.

Hayley and Kitally knew that Lizzy had stayed by Jared’s side until the end. They also knew she’d been to the house she’d once shared with Jared. They saw her the day she came home, looking close to death herself: her hair a tangled mess, her eyes swollen and red. They were worried about her, and Hayley had had enough.

Hayley marched toward the door, entered the office, and took a seat in front of the desk where Lizzy had been parked for too many days.

Then she waited.

Five solid minutes passed before Lizzy looked up at her.

“It’s been long enough,” Hayley told her. “You’re not eating, sleeping, or doing anything but clacking away on that stupid keyboard. What’s going on?”

“I know what I’ve got to do.”

“What do you have to do, Lizzy?”

“I need you and Kitally to take over the investigative business. At least for now.”

“Why? What will you be doing?”

“I’m tired of people hurting me and the people I care about. I’m tired of being a victim. I think you’ve had the right idea all along.”

“I don’t know about that,” Hayley said.

Lizzy ignored her. “I’ve been researching those who have been naughty and those who have been naughtier. From here on out, I plan to work on keeping them from hurting anyone.” Lizzy held up a piece of paper—a list of names.

“What is that?”

“Ten known criminals I need to watch.”

“Why them? What did they do?”

“One guy was recently released, and within hours he raped a young girl who was walking home from school. He’s back inside, but we both know they’ll let him out again. My plan is to keep an eye on him. I’ll make sure I know the moment his feet hit the streets.”

“And then what?”

“I’ll do what you do—I’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else.”

“How do you know what I do?”

“Trust me—I know.”

Hayley wasn’t sure she liked where this conversation was going. It was one thing for her to go out at night and take out the trash, but something else altogether to see someone like Lizzy get involved. Lizzy was one of the good guys. One of the few people left in this world who cared more about others than themselves. After all she’d gone through as a teenager and then as an adult, she’d still somehow found a way to claw her way out of death and destruction. She had volunteered her time to teach young girls how to defend themselves. She had also opened her heart to love. Lizzy had been afraid to love Jared unconditionally—to do so had been like walking into a battlefield without weapon or armor—but in the end, she’d done it. She’d given her heart freely to Jared. And in return, she’d lost everything in an instant—on her wedding day, of all days. Lizzy had paid the ultimate price.