Almond(20)

Then the elderly couple disappeared after a sudden immigration inspection, sending Gon to one foster home after another before he settled at a children’s shelter. Because everyone in the town had thought Gon was the elderly couple’s grandchild, and there was no official record of the couple leaving for China, they were not able to make further investigations or find his biological parents.

After staying at the shelter for some time, Gon was sent to live with a childless couple. The couple called him Donggu. They weren’t well-off and in two years, when their own baby came along, they quickly gave Gon up for adoption. He went back to the shelter, where he got mixed up in some trouble that led him in and out of a youth detention center. It was at the Hope Center shelter that he fashioned the name Gon for himself.

“Do you have hanja letters for it?” I asked.

“No, I’m not into that complex shit. I just came up with it.” He smiled.

Classic Gon. Out of his many names—Zhēyáng, Donggu, and Leesu—I thought Gon was the most “Gon-like” name too.

*

The incinerator incident resulted in a weeklong suspension for Gon. Who knows what would’ve happened if the teacher hadn’t arrived just in time. Professor Yun was called in to school to meet with Dr. Shim. Dr. Shim got extremely angry in his low but fervent voice and regretted letting Professor Yun reach out to me in the first place. The school board warned Professor Yun that if Gon’s behavior remained the same after the suspension, they would have to transfer him to another school. Professor Yun hung his head.

*

A few days after, I found myself sitting in front of Gon at a pizzeria. Gon’s eyes were no longer glaring. Maybe because Professor Yun sat next to him. I later learned that Professor Yun beat Gon for the first time after hearing about the incinerator incident. Professor Yun was a gentleman, so all he did was hurl a cup he’d been holding at the wall and whip Gon on the calves a few times. But this left a mark on his long-standing self-image as an intellectual, driving him farther apart from his son.

I wonder what it means to get beaten by a father you’re reunited with for the first time in a dozen years. Before even having the chance to get to know each other.

According to Dr. Shim, Professor Yun was a man of principle. A man who absolutely hated causing others any trouble, so much so that he couldn’t bear his own flesh and blood completely going against his steadfast philosophy. Rather than feeling sorry for his son, he was more angry that the son he’d waited so long for had turned out to be such a mess. That was why Professor Yun chose to beat Gon and apologize to others time after time. He apologized to the teachers, to Gon’s classmates, and to me.

It was by way of apology that he had arranged this meal with Gon and me at the pizzeria, ordering its most expensive dish. Professor Yun, with his arms stretched, each hand on his knees, said the same thing over and over out loud. As if he wanted Gon to hear it to the core, his voice trembling, his eyes hardly meeting mine.

“I am very sorry to have caused you this. It’s all my fault . . .”

I sipped my Coke from a straw, little by little. It didn’t seem like he was going to finish talking anytime soon. The longer he talked, the harder Gon’s face became. My stomach was growling, and the pizza on the table was getting cold and stale.

“You can stop now. I’m not here for your apology. It’s Gon’s job to apologize, so maybe you should leave us alone for him to do so.”

Professor Yun’s eyes widened as if he was surprised. Gon raised his eyes too.

Professor Yun hesitated. “If I take a walk around the corner, are you going to be okay?”

“Yes. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

Hmf. Gon smirked.

Professor Yun let out a couple of dry coughs and slowly stood up to leave. “I’m sure Leesu feels sorry, Yunjae.”

“I’m sure he can speak for himself.”

“Very well. Please enjoy the meal. Do call me if something happens.”

“I will.”

Professor Yun put his hand firmly on Gon’s shoulder before leaving the restaurant. Gon didn’t react at the moment, but as soon as his father left, he dusted off his shoulder.





35


The Coke bubbled. Gon was blowing into it with his straw, his face turned toward the windowsill. There was nothing much about the view outside, just cars passing by. Then I saw a silver metal pepper shaker in front of the window frame. Its round shape reflected the surroundings like a wide-angle lens. And there I was, in the center. Covered in welts and bruises, my face looked like a boxer who’d just lost a match. Gon was staring at my reflection in the pepper shaker. There, our eyes met.

“You look like shit,” he said.

“Thanks to you.”

“Do you really think I’d apologize?”

“I don’t care.”

“Then why did you ask him to leave us alone?”

“Your father talks too much. I just wanted some silence.”

Gon snorted as if he were trying to cover his laugh with coughs.

“So, your father beat you?” I didn’t have much to say, so I blurted out what had been on my mind. It must’ve been an inappropriate ice breaker, because Gon’s eyes flashed.

“Who told you that?”

“Your father said it himself.”