All That You Leave Behind: A Memoir(48)

Journalism is like housekeeping. It’s a series of small, discrete acts performed over and over. It’s really the little things that make it better. So don’t think about the broad sweep of your journalism. Just do a good job on what’s in front of you. Working on your grand plan is like shoveling snow that hasn’t fallen yet. Just do the next right thing.

I think you should be a worker among workers. I say that because we’re in an era of narcissism and personal brand. Don’t worry about branding yourself, other than not being naked on your social feeds. I don’t think it’s really important for you to work a lot on brand development. I believe in social media engagement, and I’ve got a little problem with Twitter. It’s more important that you fit in before you stick out, that’s what I’m saying.

Number five is the mom rule. Don’t do anything you couldn’t explain to your ma. All these big, ethical conundrums where— [We] will run a three-day symposium on ethics, when in fact, if you can’t explain what you’re up to with your mother without her saying, “Honey, that seems a little naughty to me, what you’re doing. It seems a little bad, that isn’t nice.” Don’t do it. Don’t go near it. Use the mom rule. Call her up. She’s a great resource.

Don’t just do what you’re good at—that’s number six. If you stay in your comfort zone, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. As has been pointed out, you need to learn to experience frustration, and you need to experience that frustration as a teachable moment, and you need to humble yourself and ask for help. Can you help me build my website? Yes, you can.

Being a journalist is permission for lifetime learning. Don’t be a know-it-all. Ask the people around you.

Number seven is be present. I don’t want to go all Oprah on you. So many people spend time like their phone right now is burning a hole in their pocket. Like, “Who’s on there? What are they talking about?” And you know what’s going on when you’re thinking about that? Your whole life. Your whole life is going on.

I can’t tell you the times I’ve gone to some extraordinary event or some conference where some big throbbing brain is talking. Everybody’s walking around like this. They never look up. And it’s like, if your head is in your phone, the scenery never changes. So don’t worry about documenting the moment. Experience the moment.

I have close to half a million followers on Twitter, but the person who needs to know what I’m doing is me. Here I stand. This is what I’m doing. I got some pictures earlier, and I might tweet them out later, but Twitter isn’t waiting to see what I think. I need to experience this extraordinary morning as it unfolds, and maybe later on I’ll put a photo on Facebook or tweet something out.

Look at who you’re speaking to. Get your face out of your phone. Do not be a bystander in your own life. You’ll miss everything.

You should take responsibility for not just the good stuff, but the bad stuff. I have noticed in leadership, in covering people over and over, it’s the people who are capable of taking ownership over failure, and apologizing very directly for their shortcomings, that succeed.

We’re all broken, in one way or another. To pretend or expect otherwise is stupid. And when you come up short, just say so, don’t make excuses. Excuses—they explain everything and they excuse nothing. Just be honest about what you did wrong, take ownership, and resolve to do better.

I think it’s very important, this number nine, is to be honest. This is a tactical approach these days. People always say, “I love that thing you’ve got where you just say whatever’s on your mind. You just come right out with it. It’s, like, you know, the truth.” It’s, like, well, that’s not really a tactic. That’s a way of living. That’s a way of being.

When you’re honest with someone, when the door opens and you have to have a difficult conversation, just walk through it and have the difficult conversation. Show the people in front of you the respect to be honest with them.

One of the things I hate about being in California is you guys always, when you talk, you sound like you’re agreeing with each other. You’re not! You’re having—“Oh I totally hear what you’re saying and I’m sure we can work with that. We obviously gotta loop in some other”—and it’s like, “No, you’re wrong, I’m right, here’s why.”

When you develop this gimmick, this reputation for telling the truth, people tend to listen to what you say.

And last thing is don’t be afraid to be ambitious. I’m living a pipe dream, and I’m living it because I wanted it. I wanted it really badly. I was thirty-four years old, washed out of my profession, on welfare, terrible reputation, single parent, and I had just met the woman who would be my wife. And she said, “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” I said, “Well, I want to be a figure on the national media scene.” And she said, “Well, honey, you’re unemployed and you’re on welfare right now, so, there’s like a middle part.” “I know! I’m just trying to articulate a goal.”

The other thing I’d say is the people who doubt you, like you’re gonna get out of here and you’re gonna have friends who got their MBA who are working for Morgan Stanley or whoever they’re working for, they’re working for a hot dot-com. And they say, “Well, good luck with that, you’re going to sink below the waist.” Those are your friends, the people who doubt you. Because you’re going to make fools out of them.