All Stars Fall (Seaside Pictures #3.5)(43)

I hated her.

So. Much.

The guys stayed over while I talked with the police. Penny didn’t leave the kids’ sides and I noticed a few times how Bella would tug on Penny’s arm and she would just naturally lift her off her feet and hold her or play with her hair while she walked around the kitchen.

If Jo was my nightmare.

Penny was my dream.

I just didn’t know how to navigate it, especially considering I had nothing to offer but a struggling, traumatized family, myself included.

When the police finally left and the house was once again silent, when the kids were put to bed with strict instructions to never ever answer the door unless an adult was home…

I exhaled.

And then I didn’t think. With purposeful steps, I walked toward Penny. She was cleaning up all the leftover pizza, putting things back in the cupboards, and now she was elbow deep in the sink, surrounded by dirty dishes since the dishwasher was probably still full.

I’d never seen anyone so stunning in my entire life.

I wrapped my arms around her and felt time stop as her body stiffened.

“I’m only going to say this once.” My heart thudded wildly against my chest. “I would be lost without you. We would be lost without you. Stay.”

I could feel her body sway, knew that she was fighting something, most likely doubt—about us, about what any of this chaos meant.

“Stay,” I said again and then slowly turned her to face me.

Water ran down her hands, tears filled her eyes.

“For the record, I’m not married. She signed the divorce papers and the only reason I left her with the kids today was because I knew you would be on your way and I underestimated the hate in her heart. She told me she was in town for a day before leaving and begged to have some time with the kids. I told her you were bringing lunch so to check with you first…” I tilted my head. “I gave her your number and everything and then totally spaced the rest when Drew texted and said he had a breakthrough on one of our tracks. Plus, I know it’s stupid, but she had one final thing to dangle in front of me, and that’s one hundred percent custody, so I let her, and I shouldn’t have.” My voice cracked. “Because I can’t imagine what could have happened, what would have happened had you not come back.”

“But I did.” Her voice was hoarse, full of pain. “I came back. For them.”

“I’ll never be able to repay you. I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I should have called you, should have warned you, I just—you have to believe me, what you saw today, that’s not always been her. She was present. She wasn’t the best but she wasn’t ever cruel to others, she wouldn’t endanger her kids. Ignore them? Yes. Endanger them? No.”

“Drugs…” Penny sighed. “They let you justify everything and take responsibility for nothing.”

“Thank you.” I kissed the tip of her nose, then her forehead. “Thank you…for being here, for being part of us.”

“Am I?” She looked up at me, her eyes questioning. “I mean, what are we doing here? The twins start school in a couple of weeks, Bella starts pre-school sooner than that, and I’m just—”

I silenced her with a kiss. And then another when she tried to protest.

And then I lifted her onto the counter and pulled her against me, wrapping her legs around me. “You were saying?”

“I’m…” Her dazed expression darkened. “You can’t just kiss it away, Trevor. I’m furious with you!”

I grinned “Because you thought I was still married and sleeping with you?”

Her cheeks pinked. “Well, that and you should have called. That was stupid, so stupid. Ugh, I hate men.” She let out a little grumble. “Women are evil, horrible creatures.”

My eyebrows shot up.

“I mean not all women, but she’s one of those people, and the poor kids.” Tears filled her eyes again. “I was so angry with her, so angry, I wanted to kill her, Trevor. I’m not a violent person, but I would have ended her life for making them afraid, for letting them down.”

I swiped the tears from her cheeks. “And that’s exactly what makes you such an incredible person, what will make you an amazing mom…”

I kissed her again.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled back, our foreheads touching. “I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s not like they have a rule book for dating rock stars.”

“Did you just feed my ego a rock star compliment?”

“Shut up.”

I pulled her in for another kiss, smiling against her pout. “We take it a day at a time. When they start school, they start school. Think of it this way. They’re going to have after-school activities, practices, plays, macaroni necklaces—and you’ll be there for it all.”

“What makes you so sure?” she whispered.

“Because you stayed when any normal person would have run away, pissed at the world. Because you fought for them before you fought for you. And because when I look up at the stars, you remind me that no matter how secure they may look—they still fall. And sometimes in falling, you find your forever.”

“Are you saying you fell?” She bit down on her bottom lip, a hopeful look in her eyes.