All Stars Fall (Seaside Pictures #3.5)(30)

“That’s what I thought,” she said softly, looking away and finishing her drink like a champ. “Just so you know…” I watched her move around my kitchen like it was hers. “Your kids aren’t holding you back. At least from this position, the one I’m standing in, they seem to be the driving force behind everything you do.”

The truth of it slammed into me. “Twenty-year-old me could make mistakes, and it was only about me. Thirty-one-year-old me has baggage that comes with him. Thirty-one-year-old me sees it reflected in my kids’ eyes. I get what you’re saying, they’re the driving force but also the reason I can’t—”

“Right,” she finished. “Okay.” Another nod as she started to walk away.

I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her against me.

Her eyes locked onto mine. “Is this where you tell me it’s not me, it’s you?”

“This is where I tell you I wish I had met you in a different life.”

“Funny.” She pulled away from me. “Since I was just thinking how lucky I am to meet you in this one.”

Disappointment filled the room.

Questions asked.

Answers given.

Choices made.

And I had to wonder what would have happened had I told her the only thing I’ve been wanting to pursue for the last week and a half? Had been her heart.





Chapter Fifteen



Penelope




I slept like crap.

And it wasn’t the drink that did it.

Nope, all signs pointed to the amazing guy that refused to let me in. Not that I’d asked, but I’d at least been wondering if we could go in that direction. I mean, we’d held hands, kissed. Oh God, now I sounded like a stupid teenager with her first crush.

The point, I thought as I got out of bed that morning and put on my clothes to head into work, was that there were feelings. Big time feelings. And he’d looked pissed about Drew, but that was it.

No, hey we kissed let’s talk about it.

No, hey so I like holding hands but I swear it’s not a hand fetish.

It’s a you fetish.

Let’s get married and make sweet love and fill this house with our offspring!

Okay, so he wasn’t going to say that, but he could at least say that there was something—anything.

I mean, there was something there. I felt the way he looked at me, the way I looked at him, that kiss. I almost started fanning myself—people don’t just kiss people they hate. At least in my world. You kiss them because you want them, because you’re attracted, because something exists in time and space between two human bodies, two souls, that must be recognized.

And although he kind of acknowledged it, I had been shut down so fast that my head spun.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became, until I realized I was stomping down the stairs into the living room.

I quieted my steps and walked by the couch, only to stop and frown down at it.

Trevor was sleeping.

Remote in hand.

TV on.

And because the universe hates me, he chose that moment to open his eyes and stare up at me then fall to the floor. “Son of a bitch, you scared the shit out of me.”

I covered my face with my hands. “I’m sorry, I was just walking by and trying to figure out why you were sleeping on the couch and—”

“I didn’t want to miss you.” He rubbed sleep from his eyes. “I was supposed to give you a car or a ride, remember, since Drew dropped you off?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

His eyes darkened. “Please tell me your plan wasn’t to walk two miles at five a.m., in the dark, with predators lurking?”

I smiled. “There are no predators lurking, especially in a place that doesn’t even have Uber!” Predators. He was adorable. Wait, no, stop.

He snorted. “You’re taking the Jeep, give me your keys and I’ll have Drew grab your car later. It’s the least he can do.”

“Jeep?” I tried not to sound too excited as he shot me a pointed glance over his shoulder then walked over to the counter and handed me the keys.

“Try not to crash it.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I grinned.

He glowered. “Not funny.”

“Wasn’t trying to be funny.” I folded my arms and gave him a challenging glare.

He pressed his hands down on my shoulders and then pulled me against him. My arms dropped to my sides. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Does anyone in life?”

“I want—”

“Daddy!” Malcom made his way into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. “Can I watch a movie?”

“Sleep, I just want sleep,” he muttered under his breath. “No, buddy, you have to go to bed.”

“I’m scared.”

“Sleep with your brother.”

Malcom’s bottom lip trembled a bit.

“Hey!” I intervened. I hated his tears. “Why don’t you go sleep in my room a bit? I left the fireplace on, and my favorite bear’s in the bed guarding my things!”

“You sleep with a bear?”

“It protects me.” I winked. “I mean, you don’t have to, but there is a TV in there. Maybe after you sleep a few hours, Dad will let you watch?”