Alex (Cold Fury Hockey #1)(70)

I was afraid I’d let her down when she delved in deep and came up empty. I wasn’t prepared to see the hurt in her eyes, so I did the only thing that made sense, and that was to get out of bed and away from her probing gaze as quickly as possible. It only took a splash of cold water on my face, a serious look at myself in the mirror reminding me that there was a beautiful, naked woman in bed waiting for me, and I was ready to return.

When I found her getting dressed and noticed the jerky nature of her movements, the uncertainty of her posture, I knew that I had hurt her by leaving the bed. I knew that she knew that I was running from the deep feelings that had just been unleashed.

The thought of her disconnecting from me…the thought that I could have driven a wedge between us by some silly action, caused fear to stir deep in my belly. I wasn’t ready to let her go. I’ve always known that I’d probably hurt her in the end, but I sure as hell wasn’t ready to call it quits right then. Luckily, she let me kiss her. She knew I was doing it for distraction, for redirection, and she let me work my charms on her.

Within moments, we were back in bed and clawing at each other, lost once again to the haze of sex and lust that overwhelmed us.

“You two really are good for each other,” I hear Penny say softly.

Pulled from my thoughts, which were bordering on depraved, I sweep my gaze around the living room and see Jim has succumbed back into slumber. Reaching my hand up, I stroke the back of Sutton’s hair and she doesn’t move a muscle. She’s out cold.

Looking at Penny I ask, “You think so?”

“Absolutely, and I know a little something about people who are bad for each other and people who are good for each other.”

I nod in understanding. “I met Cosmo last week.”

“Sutton told me you did. I hate that you had to see him like that. He’s a decent man when he’s not using. I don’t like him going to Sutton like that.”

“She handled him well,” I tell her, so she knows that her daughter is okay.

“I know she can handle him. I just hate that she has to handle him. I wish she’d just cut ties completely, but she won’t. He’s still her father.”

I can empathize with that sentiment. I’ve thought long and hard about cutting my dad completely out of my life, but I’ve never been able to make the move. Sure, I still have bitter feelings over what he’s created, but for the most part we don’t deal with each other. He comes to a handful of my games and calls me on drunken rants to complain about some aspect of my game. Other than that, we don’t communicate, but for some reason, I just can’t imagine cutting ties permanently.

“You look as if you understand what I’m saying,” Penny murmurs, and I realize I’ve gotten deeply lost in memories without having responded to her.

“Yeah,” I say after letting out a long-held breath. “I know something about having a dysfunctional parent.”

“I’m sorry” is all Penny says and she doesn’t push for anything more. She just gives me that same soft smile, leaning her cheek into the palm of her hand. “Sounds like you and Sutton have something important in common and that’s always good. You can lean on each other.”

I don’t respond because I hate to tell her that I am not the best crutch for her daughter to lean on. While Sutton seems to have made lemonade out of the sour lemons in her life, I’m still swimming in the harsh acidity of having an abusive, alcoholic parent. It’s not something I’ve been able to let go of, and I see no way to achieve healing grace.

I hate to tell Penny—so I don’t—but Sutton and I have nothing really in common regarding our past.





Chapter 22


Sutton


My heart is slamming so hard inside of my chest cavity, I swear Alex might be able to hear it through the door. My blood is pumping so fast through my veins that I’m afraid I might stroke out.

I am exhilarated and scared shitless, a duality of emotion that causes my skin to tingle and my throat to tighten in anticipation.

Raising my hand, I knock on Alex’s hotel door. I had been waiting impatiently for Garrett to text me after their game against the New York Vipers, telling me that Alex was back in his room. I flew to the Big Apple with the help of some scheming from Garrett, as a surprise for Alex’s birthday.

Alex never said a word about his birthday, and we were so new in our relationship, I never thought to ask him when it was. I was overcome with guilt when Garrett mentioned it to me at Thanksgiving. He pulled me aside before he left and asked if I was planning anything special.

I blinked at Garrett, almost not understanding his question, then regained my senses. I practically hissed at him, “When’s his birthday?”

Garrett gave me a wide grin and whispered back to me, “Next week—November thirtieth.”

“How do you know?” I whispered back, glancing at Alex while he talked to Glenn on the front porch steps while Mom was loading him up with leftovers.

“Because that shit’s on the team roster and I notice shit like that.”

“Oh” was all I could think to say, and I told him I would think of something.

Except, Garrett ended up coming up with a great idea and suggested I fly to New York secretly to surprise Alex after the game. They were going to be in New York for two days as the Cold Fury had back-to-back games with the Vipers and then the New Jersey Wildcats.