Alex (Cold Fury Hockey #1)(57)

I start to point out that I’ve warned her I can be an * but my words dry up when she steps in and lays her cheek against my chest. The move is tender and caring, causing my heart to lurch in response.

“But,” she says with utter defiance. “I’m finding I like who you are a lot, so maybe your past doesn’t have quite the hold on you that you think it does.”

My stomach flips inward and a hollow, bottomless feeling courses through me because she’s so wrong about that. My past controls almost every action I take and every thought that comes out of my f*cked-up head. Sutton’s arms wrap around my waist and she nuzzles against me, her cheek warm against my skin. It’s a move calculated to show me she cares for me, and the empty feeling is immediately filled with something warm and comforting.

I wish I didn’t like that feeling so much, because it pulls me in deeper. It makes me want to experience it more, which is very dangerous for both of us. For me, it will make me susceptible to her goodness. For her, it will make her vulnerable to my darkness.

Glancing at the clock hanging on my kitchen wall, I see it’s getting late. I have to get up early tomorrow for a practice skate and then a team meeting to prepare for our evening game. But I want her again, probably more than once, and I have to budget time for that. I want her to explore me as well, and this could potentially take hours.

So we better get started.

Reaching behind my back, I pull her arms away from the comforting embrace she’s offering me and lace my fingertips through hers. Turning, I lead her back toward my bedroom, neither of us needing to say another word.

Both of us know that we are perfectly happy with getting lost in each other for a bit of time. In particular, I know that the comfort of her arms provides me with a peace that I’m starting to appreciate, and even starting to crave.

Yes, I know it’s dangerous for me, but I’ve never been one who scares easily. I’m more worried about the time that will come when I’ll probably hurt her, but I’m still selfish enough to put that thought aside and take advantage of what she is offering me.





Chapter 18


Sutton


As expected after a hockey game, Hoolihan’s is packed and there aren’t any tables or booths available. I decide to order a beer at the bar while I wait for Alex and Garrett. I know from past experience of meeting Alex here after a game that it will be a while before he gets here.

I take a moment to check my phone. Brandon has finally stopped texting and calling me. I eventually called him and apologized for the way I snapped at him. He also apologized for not understanding what a crappy day I had had and said that he realized it was a little rude to just show up like that and ask me to cook dinner.

Once the apologies were out of the way, it got awkward when Brandon immediately asked me out to dinner. It was at this point I had to tell him that this wasn’t ever going to go where he wanted it to.

“I’m sorry, Brandon,” I had told him gently. “But I can’t go out to dinner with you. Not now, not ever.”

He was silent for a moment, then he asked, “Is it me? What I did to you? Or is it something else?”

At that moment, I knew he knew, so I laid the truth out to him. “It’s someone else, in particular.”

“Alex” was all he said.

“Yes. But even if Alex wasn’t in the picture, I don’t think you and I could have started over. I think we were done for good.”

He was fairly understanding and we talked for a bit more. We made vague promises to keep in contact and to continue our friendship, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Those things never work out as we hope they can.

I do have a text from Shelley. She’s taken to watching hockey now, in particular the Cold Fury, so we can dish about Alex. She thinks it’s beyond exciting that I’m dating an NHL player, but I never look at Alex that way. I just see him as Alex.

Not a good game, she texted along with a sad face.

I wrote her back, I know. I feel terrible for Alex.

Love on him good. That will make him happy again.

I wrote back a last message. Head out of gutter. Talk to you later.

I’m nervous as to what type of mood he’ll be in. The Cold Fury have been on a winning streak and tonight’s game was only the second one they’ve lost since I met Alex. He didn’t look happy after the 3–2 beating they took by the lowest-ranked team in their division. It didn’t change the Cold Fury’s standing, but even I know enough about sports to know that a loss does not make for happy players.

I texted Alex as soon as the buzzer went off ending the third period, offering to take a rain check on getting together. He didn’t respond, so I had no choice but to head to Hoolihan’s as we had originally planned and wait for him. He had asked me earlier in the day if I minded if he invited Garrett, and of course, I didn’t. I was anxious to learn more about the man who was apparently becoming a good friend to the self-admitted loner, Alex Crossman.

“Sutton?”

Turning toward the feminine voice, I see Monica standing there, her blond hair in a riot of curly ringlets. She’s wearing a Cold Fury jersey, obviously having just come from the game. When Alex had gotten me a ticket for tonight, I was slightly surprised it wasn’t in the same spot where I had previously sat beside Monica. However, the change was nice because he put me in The Fury Club, which is a section of the upper-level seating that has plush leather seats, a food buffet and free alcohol. Not that I partook of any of that since I’d be meeting Alex later.