Addicted to You (Addicted #1)(105)

I understand now. They’re afraid of our closeness. We’re not good together.

Not yet anyway.

He clutches onto my dress, and he cries until there are no more tears. I try and pray to hold mine back—to be strong for him. He whispers to me, in a dry voice, “I feel like I’m dying.”

“You’re not.” I kiss him on the cheek. “I love you.”

After a few more minutes, we rise and silently walk outside to the valet with Rose and Ryke close behind. I convince them to leave us alone in one of the cars, but they’re going to meet us at the Drake.

Lo slides into the Escalade first. And then me.

“The Drake,” I say, not even looking at the front seats. The car starts moving, and I turn to Lo who has a hand covering his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re going to rehab,” I say assuredly, even though a pain weighs on my chest. I know this is the right thing. For both of us.

“I can’t leave you.” He drops his hand. “It could be months, Lily. I don’t want you with another guy…”

“I’m going to be strong,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine. I squeeze. “I’m going to go to therapy.”

“Lily…” His pained voice sends daggers to my heart.

“I’m going to move in with Rose.”

He shuts his eyes and more tears spill.

I keep from crying. I swallow. “I’m going to transfer to Princeton, and I’ll be waiting for you when you return.”

Lo nods a lot, letting the news sink in. “If that’s what you want…”

“It’s what I want.”

Lo licks his lips and leans a shoulder against mine. “I’m sorry, about today. I shouldn’t have done that in the hotel room. I…I was upset, and it had nothing to do with you. I…”

“What is it?” I frown. What could be so bad that he threw back mini-bottles of alcohol, breaking his short sobriety that meant a great deal to him, to me, and our friends…his brother.

“Penn sent me a letter this morning.” He pauses. “They’ve kicked me out.”

“What? They can’t kick you out. You haven’t done anything wrong. We’ll go to the Dean—”

“Lily, I haven’t gone to half my classes. I’ve failed almost every one. I have a one-point-something GPA. They can kick out people that don’t meet their academic standards. They warned me last year, and I didn’t give a shit.”

“What?” I squeak. All this time, I thought he’d been pulling great grades, better than most, much better than me at least. “So…so you’ll go to Princeton with me. You can transfer. They’ll let you in with your last name.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, I’m not going back to college. It’s not for me, Lil.”

I process this. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Lo says. “How about get healthy first?”

“That works,” I murmur. “What about your father? Lo, if he finds out, he’ll take away your trust fund.”

“He won’t find out. I’ve already called admissions and told them not to contact him.”

I exhale in relief.

The car rolls to the curb. “We’ve arrived, Mr. Hale.”

I stiffen. That voice—that voice did not belong to Nola.

The driver shifts slightly, and I see the gray whiskers, feather hair, and glasses perched on a beak nose.

“Anderson,” Lo says tensely. Anderson, Jonathan Hale’s driver, the guy who has been known to rat us out. “Please don’t tell my father…”

“Have a nice night,” Anderson says with a fake smile. He spins back to the front, waiting for us to leave.

We do, and in my heart, I know that everything is about to change.





{27}



After a short conversation, we agree to spend the night apart. I stay with Rose at the Drake, and Ryke takes Lo to his apartment on campus. I only learn that his father calls him in the morning because Rose tells me.

He gave him the ultimatum we avoided and feared our whole lives. Go back to college, set your life straight, or else your trust fund will disappear. Months ago, Lo’s choice may have been different. He may have opted for college, transferring to Princeton or Penn State, going back into a familiar routine in a new setting. But I think we both realize that some things are worth more than a fancy lifestyle and padded wallet.

At breakfast, while I pick at a bowl of oatmeal in the living room, I’m not surprised when Rose tells me Lo stepped away from the money. She says it’s the most heroic thing he’s done in his life. The irony is that he’s not saving some damsel in a castle, he’s not rescuing a baby from a burning building—he’s helping himself. Maybe a little bit to save our relationship, but mostly, for him. And that’s the best reason there is. Beneath my fear, I am so, so proud.

In a few days, I’ll need to find the same bravery.

My sister sets a hand on my shoulder. “He’s coming over to grab some of his things. They’re leaving at noon.”

Pressure sits heavy on my chest, but I nod anyway. We also agreed that he should go to rehab as soon as possible. We’re afraid we’ll change our minds, that we’ll convince each other it’s not the right step and that we can work it out together. We can’t. We’ve tried that, and it ended with Lo drinking tequila in a hotel room and me, pulling him against my body.