Accidental Knight: A Marriage Mistake Romance(70)

From admitting my mistake.

It was more than a mistake. It was a colossal fuck up.

I’d caused my own father to suffer and die.

“What happened, Drake?”

That’s when we get to the part I can’t tell her. Not the hell yet.

Then Winnie came up missing. We were never a thing, never lovers, but she was my best friend.

The girl I’d gone to school with when I was little and kept hanging around long after I was grown.

I kept my promise, dammit.

Winnie always had a friend in me. Even when her folks got killed and she got trapped in our podunk town, her worst fear come to life. Even when she wound up working odd jobs, first in the dive bars and then in this little damn deli, and always seemed to have just the right sandwich waiting for me piled high with all the fixings.

Even when the fuckheads she dated used her and drifted away.

Even when I got half a mind to date her myself just so she’d have somebody she could trust. And even when she told me no.

The only woman who ever turned me down was that smart. She knew it’d fuck our friendship over, and I realized she was right.

Chicks come and go. We had something special and deeper than any bullshit attraction that’d only lead us both to ruin. We had a bond like me and Ang. Hell, maybe stronger.

Like siblings. Like true friends. Like blood.

“Drake?”

I look up at Bella, shaking off the fury curdling my blood. Back to Dad...

“I had to go out one day. Something came up.” I can’t let myself pin any of the blame on Angie. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine, all mine. “Dad liked to watch westerns most afternoons, all the old ones. The Lone Ranger. Gunsmoke. Big Valley. High Chaparral. I was sure he’d sit right there in his chair the entire time he was alone like he always did, drinking his Coke with a splash of molasses we told him was rum. But he didn’t. He must’ve gone looking for me out back and got lost that day. It was snowing and cold. My sister called me when she got home in a panic, and I rushed right back...but by the time we found him.” My teeth clamp down on my tongue. “It was too fucking late.”

“Oh, Drake. I’m sorry.”

It’s amazing how one word can tear through you easier than a bullet. Hearing Bella say sorry grinds right through me like an armor-piercing round.

Somehow, she’s off the chair and has her arms around me before I have a chance to form words.

They won’t fucking come, so I just wrap my arms around her and hold on tight.

Hold her against me.

Hold on to the woman I need to keep safe, the one I can’t fail like I did Dad and Winnie.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “So sorry for your loss.”

She has no reason to be sorry, but I accept the comfort her arms lend.

It’s a relief to spill my guts to someone besides Jonah. He told me that’s what I had to do, in order to let it go. He called it 'confession' in his wise, old, small town oil man way.

“You can’t blame yourself,” she says quietly. “Listen to me, you can’t.”

“I can,” I snarl back. “I deserve it. And maybe if I do, I’ve come to live with it. I’ve made peace with what I’ve done.”

She leans back and looks up at me. Her arms are still around my neck and she combs her fingers into the hair on the nape of my neck.

“You’re wrong. That’s why you took such good care of Gramps,” she says. “You poured everything you’d have done for your father, but couldn’t, into taking care of Gramps. Everything. People make mistakes, sometimes bad ones, but if you just let it define you, take you over, well...I know you wouldn’t have been here for him. And I know you wouldn’t be here for me, either.”

I don’t answer. Don’t have to. She’s searching my eyes with hers, and sees she’s right.

Fuck. Me.

“Thanks, lady. I’m man enough to admit my mistakes and my limits. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s kick some ass.”

She smiles, soft and slow, leaning into me. A heavenly scent wafts my way, flowery and light, drifting up from her shining hair, into my nostrils.

“You’re a good man, Drake. Man enough to do more than cover up my weaknesses and chase down bad guys...”

Oh, shit.

I know it’s going to happen when she leans in closer, looking up at me, her eyes big and bright and waiting.

I see it, I know, but I damn sure can’t stop it.

A screaming freight train full of TNT couldn’t.

When her lips meet mine, fierce yet subtle, I fight for a single second. But it’s useless.

I devour Bella’s mouth.

Kissing her alone, without any games or interlopers in the way, is a goddamn dream come true.

I take her mouth, her tongue, her lips one angry pull at a time.

Then my hands slide under her shirt, rubbing the silkiness of her skin. Those lush tits press flush against my chest.

My cock throbs like lightning, straining against my jeans as I press it against her stomach. She gives me one little whimper and I’m absolutely gone.

This is fucked in the purest sense, but it doesn’t put a dent in the animal need driving us forward.

Even with the turmoil of my past swirling in my brain, all I can think about is her.

Tasting Bella. Touching Bella. Stripping Bella.