A Whole New Crowd (A Whole New Crowd #1)(92)

Laughing, I pressed a fist to his chest. “It’s all your fault. All those training sessions and nights with the punching bag. I never did throw a knife at someone, you know.”
His eyebrows lifted. “And you’re asking to rectify that? I love you, Taryn, but you’re not throwing one at me.”
I chuckled, but I caught the pain flare up over him again. Lifting a hand up, I cupped the side of his face. His eyes closed. He moved into my palm and a soft sigh left him.
“Sometimes I don’t know what to say.” My hand cupped the other side of his face. I turned his face and his eyes opened again. An inch separated us. “I never knew my parents, but I know loss. I know what it feels like to love someone, become attached to them, and have them ripped from you in a day. It happened to me all the time when I left foster homes. I stopped getting close early on, but there was never any words that helped me. The only thing that helped was someone’s presence.” My finger began moving back and forth again. I wanted him to feel my love. “I don’t know what it’s like to have parents, but I know what it’s like to not have them.” I felt tears on my cheek, but my god, I ignored them. The haunted look in Tray’s eyes pushed all my demons away. Everything was about him now. “The only thing I can think of to say is that I’m sorry. I am. I am so goddamn sorry.” He started to step back, but I held him firm. “I will never leave. I won’t. I promise.”
He glanced down, while I held his face and then his lips touched the top of my head. His arms moved so he was holding me tight. He bent over me and his lips grazed the top of my shoulder. He murmured against my skin, “I’m trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t care. I knew I was never going to see him again, but man, hearing it spoken like that. It’s final. He’s dead and I’m supposed to be too. I hate Jace, but I’m grateful to him at the same time. I hate feeling both of those things. Not about that guy, not with everything he’s done.”
My hand lifted to cradle the back of his head and I rested mine against his. “You can feel however you want to feel. Being grateful that you’re alive is never wrong to feel.”
“I hate him too.”
“That’s fine too.”
He lifted his head, staring down at me for a moment, then another, and another. “I love you.”
I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t talk. Giving him a shaky smile, I managed to get out, “I love you too.” Another nod. “I do.”
His eyes darkened. Then he bent, lifted me under my legs, and braced me against the shower wall. As he did, I leaned back, now gazing down on him. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist. His hand moved to my shirt, slipped underneath and began pushing it up.
His thumb rested on my stomach, pausing for my permission. My legs tightened around him in response and then I leaned down. My lips were caught by his, but it was mutual. A fevered frenzy took over me and I wanted him. I needed him. My hands grappled with his jeans, undoing them, and then I shoved them down as he peeled my shirt off. My bra was taken off and he cupped my breast, his thumb rubbing over my nipple. Falling back against the wall, I arched up for him. He held me, caressed me, trailed kisses down my throat until he was bent over me, and his mouth hovered over my breast, I let go. I wasn’t innocent, but he was making me feel new sensations again. It would be my first time with him. Knowing that I loved him, and he loved me, made everything right.
It was perfect.
His eyes were lidded and thick with desire. I cradled the side of his face and as I did, he turned to press a small kiss to my palm. Then he tightened his hold on my legs and stood from the wall. As he took me into the bedroom and lowered me down, I pulled him so he was on top of me the whole time.
I didn’t want to part from him. And later, as he slid inside me, our hands were clasped together, I had a feeling I wouldn’t have to worry about that again. I had found my soul mate.
*

A discreet knock woke us. Tray’s hand tightened on mine and I lifted my head from his chest. The clock said it was three in the morning. We shared a confused look, but the knock sounded again and we both rolled out of bed. As he went to answer it, I grabbed some shorts and then pulled on a loose shirt. He waited. I gave him a nod, and as he opened it, I ran my fingers through my hair. I must’ve looked like a mess. Hearing his brother’s voice, I forgot about my hair. Going to Tray’s side, I hugged myself. “I thought you said we could have our time to rest.”
Tray shifted back so I could join the conversation.
Chance’s lips were pressed in a flat line. He waited a beat to answer and as he did, his hand lifted to rub at one of his temples. “Uh, Taryn.”
“What?”
Tray leaned forward to peer over his brother’s shoulder. As he did, his eyes got big and he stiffened.
Chance saw his reaction and shot up a hand. “Stop, Tray. There are reasons he’s here.”
He jerked forward, but Chance blocked him. Tray brought up his arm and shoved his brother out of the way. He stalked forward. I still didn’t see who it was. When Chance saw I was going to follow, he held a hand up. “Wait.” He turned. “TRAY. Wait! This is truth time.”
He did and pivoted around him. A fierce scowl was on his face. “You better start spilling. Now.”
“I will.” Chance gentled his tone, and his hands lowered, slowly. “Give me time, and I will explain everything.”
“Waiting. Go now.”
He swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Okay, but just you and me. We’ll go in Dad’s library downstairs.”