A Whole New Crowd (A Whole New Crowd #1)(71)

A robbery. Gun point. That’s how they spun it? A hard laugh ripped from me. I couldn’t believe what I just heard.
“Taryn?” She stood. Mandy started for me, but stopped a few feet away. “What’s wrong? What’d I say? Please.” A hysterical note etched into her tone. It was soft, hanging there on the end, before it bloomed.
I shook my head. Forcing myself to sound calm, I asked, “Who told you that?”
“Amber and Jennica.”
“Where’d they hear it from?”
She lifted a shoulder, but let it drop suddenly. “I don’t know. I’m not helping you. I’ve made it worse. I’m sorry, Taryn. What can I do? Tell me what to do to make this better.”
There wasn’t anything she could do. “I need to talk to Amber and Jennica.”
“Okay.” She went for the door. “I’ll get them.” She opened it, but paused before she said, “I want to help you like you helped me, Taryn. I’m sorry for making this worse.”
My insides were burning up. I felt raw, like someone had dragged a rake through my organs and left me bleeding out. “You did. Trust me, you did.”
She left and I closed my eyes. Stay calm. Hear them out, I tried to tell myself, trying to calm the tornado inside me, but it wasn’t working. I used my last resort and counted down from one hundred. When I got to sixty-nine, a knock sounded at the door and Tray stepped inside.
“What’s going on?” He closed the door and leaned against it. Voices sounded from the hallway and the doorknob turned. He said through it, “Give me a minute in here.”
There was silence and then Mandy said, “One minute, Evans. She’s still my sister.”
Ignoring her, he focused on me. He was trying to read me again. “What’s going on?”
I took a moment and drank the sight of him in. He was gorgeous. Sometimes I didn’t see it. I felt his beauty. He was kind. He was patient. He stood up to me and for me. He took care of me, and he fought side by side with me. Those were his qualities, but he wasn’t just mine. I saw it downstairs and a part of me was jealous. I didn’t want to share him, but I knew I would have to. Now, seeing him at this party, it was like I was being reminded of the other side of Tray. Hazel eyes, sandy blonde hair, rakish grin, chiseled cheekbones, broad shoulders, trim waist, and my mouth watered as I remembered feeling his weight above me.
That alien emotion was back. It bubbled to the surface and spread all over. I shook my head. Shit. That was a whole other level of emotions I didn’t want to deal with either.
“Taryn?”
My voice was hoarse again when I spoke. “I’m seeing this through, Tray.”
“Okay.” His eyes narrowed, growing thoughtful. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because you have friends here. These people think of you like family. You’re not mine.” I hesitated. “Only mine. You’re theirs too. And what I’m about to do, it’s dangerous. I don’t know if you should help me.”
A corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. “Who do you think I am? Someone weak? Someone soft? You’re going to come at me, preach to me about the dangerous road you’re going down? You think I don't know?” He stood from the door, locked it, and advanced on me. He spoke with each step he took. “I wake up next to you every morning. I hold you every night. I’m there. I’m beside you. This is me. I’m all f*cking in, Taryn. Stop trying to scare me away and stop trying to treat me with kid gloves. I taught you how to fight, remember? Do I need to remind you of my life? I found my mom dead. That was me. I found her in bed. I found the empty bottle of pills and booze. I found the note. Me. I was there when my dad decided to leave with Galverson. Jace showed up. He gave my dad an ultimatum: Leave now, go with them and keep his mouth shut for the rest of his life to save mine, or go with my brother and get a bullet in the head later. That was his choice. He left me behind. I was there. I heard the whole thing and Jace saw me. I was standing upstairs. I wasn’t hiding, but my dad didn’t even look at me. He grabbed his wallet, took out his bank card, put it with a wad of cash on the counter, and left. That’s the last thing I remember about my dad.”
I swallowed and felt as if he’d struck me across the face. He’d had it hard. So did I. He shook his head. “Stop.” He was in front of me now. His hands lifted. He was going to touch the sides of my face, but he hesitated. I saw the agony in him, and he closed his eyes. He closed himself off from me and drew in a breath.
I frowned. He was drawing strength and he was doing it without me. My hands lifted to his before I realized what I was doing. I didn’t want him to do that. I wanted him to draw strength from me and as his eyes opened, I was gutted. “Stop.”
He did. I saw it.
I added, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
“You won’t.”
I shook my head. I already had.
“Stop, Taryn.” His hands cupped my face. His thumbs rubbed over my cheeks, softly and tenderly. “It goes both ways. I’m all-in. I’ve never been this guy. I’ve never cared about a girlfriend before, but it’s different with you. Everything’s different with you. It’s too late to go back. I’m in, Taryn. Do you hear that? I’m in. Accept it. I’m here. I’m not leaving. I’m your best friend. I’m going to be your lover. I’m going to fight with you. I’m going to hold you. I’m going to support you. I will not betray you, and I will not abandon you.”
Each word calmed me. The storm was there, but it wasn’t raging any more, and I cracked a grin. “I don’t have a say in the matter?”