A Whole New Crowd (A Whole New Crowd #1)(62)

“You want me to go after Jace?”
“No.” His hand closed around the knife, and he pulled it away. “You’ll lose, but if you’re cornered and alone, I want you to have a fighting chance.” His hand lifted again. The knife was uncovered once more. “Take it, Taryn. I’ll teach you how to use it.”
I did. As my hand closed around it, knowing that I would learn how to yield it, I felt powerful. No, I always felt powerful. It was just coming back to me. “How do you know this?”
“My dad taught me. It was one thing he did right by me before he left.” He moved so he was behind me. One hand took my arm and the other splayed out on my hip. My heart was racing, but I tried to push all of that away and listen to him. He lifted my arm and moved my other hip back. He murmured into my ear, “If you’re fighting someone, you won’t have time to grab a weapon. If you’re lucky, you will see them coming, but most times they’ll get the drop on you.”
I frowned. “That’s not helpful.”
He chuckled, his breath caressing over my ear and the side of my face. It warmed me and sent shivers through me at the same time. His hand tightened on my hip. “When you’re fighting for your life and this is all you have, you don’t hesitate.” He jerked my hand out in a straight jab. At the same time, he pushed my hip forward so my whole body went with the motion. “If you fight someone bigger than you, don’t hold back. Don’t stab and keep half your body away. It won’t do anything. You’ll just graze the guy. If you go in, go all in and push all of your weight behind your knife.”
Jace and Brian had been in fights, against each other and against others. The violent world wasn’t new to me, but the idea that it was me and one other person in a back alley had my mind spinning. Jace never taught me these things. Neither had Brian
He stepped back from me and I missed his warmth, but he took my shoulders and turned me around. As he did, his hazel eyes had a grave look in them. He dropped his chin so he was staring right into my eyes. He said, “If you have the opportunity, go for the throat. If it’s you or him and its life and death, you can’t hesitate. If you can, jab the entire knife into the guy. Go in through the side, but if he’s holding you at an angle and you can’t get a good rush at him, slit his throat. Right in front.” He ran his finger across the front of his throat. “Fighting with a knife is about being smart. If you’re given a window, do it. Don’t hesitate. Use your whole body. You might have a couple seconds, if even that. He’s bigger than you. If he’s going against you, he won’t hesitate. You can’t either. It’s you or him, you fight with every last inch in you and when you don’t think you can fight anymore, you search for more inside of you. You need to be a wild animal. Do not hold back. I mean it, Taryn. You can’t hold back. Fear will paralyze you. It’ll be hard enough to fight just through that, but you have to. Okay?”
He waited for me to nod. When I did, he lifted my hand, the one with the knife, and pressed the blade against his neck. He said, “Press it into me.”
“No.”
I tried to pull back, but Tray caught my hand. “You need to feel what it’s like to have a knife to a throat. This is where they’re vulnerable.”
I nodded. His hand fell from mine and I kept the knife there. He stared at me, and I felt his trust in me, but his eyes were blazing. He was fighting for me. “I want to kill Jace.”
“I know you do.”
I had loved him. Now I hated him.
His hands framed both sides of my face. Bending over, he rested his forehead to mine and stared right into me. “I can’t promise you will get the chance. He leads the Panthers. He works for Sal Galverson, and he’s one of the best fighters I have ever heard about.”
“I can hurt him in other ways.” My mind was connecting the dots. He wanted me out of the way. He had connections to my adopted parents. I was his secret. “He didn’t want Galverson to know about me. Why? That makes no sense.”
Tray stepped away. “What are you talking about?”
“He said Brian hated him. He said Brian wasn’t a threat, but I could’ve been. What did he mean by that?”
“In that world, there’s no guarantee. People can turn on you in a flash.”
“Yeah.” I lifted my chin up. “I could get Galverson to turn on Jace.”
“No, no. That’s not a good idea.”
“But what if—”
Tray caught my arms and pulled me back in front of him. “No, Taryn. That world is dangerous. I had my own brush with it, remember? I’ll never see my dad again. You can’t do anything. I’m teaching you this stuff on the off chance that you do find yourself in an alley against someone.”
I snorted. “I’m a thief. I can usually find my way out of a situation.”
“Yeah.” He tapped my forehead. “You’ve always used this, but it’s personal now. You’re all heart now. You’re not going into anything clear-headed, not until you really grieve Brian Lanser fully.” His voice grew soft. “And I’ll be honest, I don’t think you ever will. When you love, you love hard. I know that about you. I also know you’re not going to let him go because you blame yourself.”
I reared back as if he had slapped me. “I blame Jace.”
“Yeah, but you blame yourself too. I can feel it in you. You barely eat. You’re a walking zombie. The girl who was so full of life and fight before is a shell now. You’re empty, but I know everything will slam back and you’ll go crazy. The need to hurt Jace will be too much and you’ll do something that could hurt you,” he pulled me close again, “really hurt you. That’s why I’m showing you this.”