A Week in Winter(90)

‘You were only a child,’ Carmel said soothingly.

‘No, I knew. I knew what she was doing was wrong and that she had to be punished. I wasn’t going to be part of any secrets. I wanted her to be punished. I didn’t know Larry was Dad’s great friend. But even if I had known, I’d still have told. It was wrong, you see.’

‘And what did your father do?’

‘We never knew, but when Martin and I got back from waving at President Kennedy, our mother was gone and never came back again.’

‘Where did she go?’ Carmel tried to keep the horror out of her voice.

‘We never heard, and Dad looked after us but he was no good and then he took to drink. And he kept thanking me for exposing his whore of a wife and he would hit Martin over nothing. And Martin got in with a tough crowd at school and did no study whatsoever. I just put my hands over my ears and studied all the hours God sent. I got scholarships all the way and when my father died of drink, I managed on my own. Martin said I’d ruined his life twice. First I’d sent his mother away and now I’d lost him his father.’

‘And he never forgave you?’

‘No. He made nothing of himself. I haven’t seen him for years. He rang the school not long ago, I don’t know why. I don’t want to see him again.’

‘So he has not been part of your life since then?’ Carmel asked sadly. The best she could hope for was to escape from this situation before she heard any more; already she knew that Miss Howe would never forgive herself for the loss of self-control, nor would she forgive Carmel. She must have looked anxious to end the conversation because Miss Howe spotted it.

‘All right, so you want me to leave now. I’ll leave. I don’t care!’

Carmel reached out to shake her hand. ‘I will bid you farewell, and wish you well in the future.’

‘You will bid me farewell, bid me farewell, no less,’ Miss Howe sneered. ‘What a great line of clichés you will teach those unfortunate children. I weep for them and for their future.’

‘Then go and weep over them. We will love them and look after them always and give them a great life,’ Carmel said sadly.

‘I suppose you and your husband will spread this all over the country before the night is out,’ said Miss Howe bitterly.

‘No, Miss Howe, that is not how we behave. Rigger and I are people of dignity and decency, not of gossip and accusations. What you have told me is your business and will go no further.’

As Miss Howe left, Carmel sat at the kitchen table shaking. Rigger would be furious; Chicky would be annoyed. Why couldn’t she have held on to her temper? Miss Howe would never forgive her for knowing about her past.

‘I don’t want that Miss Howe in our house again,’ she told Rigger when he came home. ‘She said we were ignorant parents, and that she wept for Rosie and Macken.’

‘Well, she’s the only one who does,’ Rigger said. ‘Everyone else is delighted with them. And who the hell cares what Miss Howe says?’

Carmel smiled at him. It was quite true. She would comb her hair and they would go for a walk on the beach; they would walk along the damp sand and gather shells as the salt air stung their faces. They would give their son and daughter the best life they could.

Later that day, Rigger whispered to Chicky that it was only fair to warn her that words had been exchanged between Carmel and Miss Howe.

‘Don’t worry,’ Chicky said. ‘She was never likely to get us any business. She’s just told me she’s going back to Dublin tonight. In a while she will be gone and out of our lives. Tell Carmel not to give it a second thought.’

‘You’re great, Chicky.’

‘No, I’m not. I’m lucky. So are you. Miss Howe was not.’

‘We made a bit of our own luck.’

‘Perhaps, but we listened when people tried to help us. She didn’t.’

Before dinner, Chicky carried Miss Howe’s small case to the van.

‘I hope some of it was to your liking, Miss Howe,’ she said. ‘Perhaps when the weather is better, you might come back to us again?’ Chicky was unfailingly courteous.

‘I don’t think so,’ Miss Howe responded. ‘It’s not really my kind of holiday. I spent too much of my life talking to people. I find it quite stressful.’

‘Well, you’ll be glad to get back to the peace and quiet of your own place,’ Chicky said.

‘Yes, in a way.’

The woman was brutally honest. It was her failing.

‘Did you discover anything here? People often say they do.’

‘I discovered that life is very unfair and that there’s nothing we can do about it. Don’t you agree, Mrs Starr?’

‘Not entirely, but you do have a point.’

Miss Howe nodded, satisfied. She had spread a little gloom even as she left. She would sit alone on the train back to Dublin and then get the bus back to her lonely house. She looked straight ahead as Rigger drove her to the railway station.





Freda

When Freda O’Donovan was ten, Mrs Scully, one of her mother’s friends, read everyone’s palms at a tea party. Mrs Scully saw good fortune and many children and long, happy marriages ahead for everyone. She saw foreign travel and small inheritances from unexpected quarters. They were all delighted with her, and it was a very successful party.