A Very Merry Bromance (Bromance Book Club #5) (33)

All of that was true but left a lot of pertinent information out.

Gretchen prepared herself for a what the hell is wrong with you speech. Instead, Alexis nodded knowingly. “That was absolutely the wrong thing for him to do, wasn’t it?”

Gretchen blinked. “I—yes.”

“I understand why you handed him his ass.”

“So do I,” Liv said, polishing off her muffin.

Gretchen looked from one to the other. “You do?”

Liv shrugged. “Look, it’s the same type of shit that made you dump Mack, right? He tried to impress you with a thousand-dollar cupcake.”

Gretchen groaned. “Can we not talk about that, please?”

Though she had long ago lost any awkwardness around Liv over the fact that she’d briefly dated the man Liv was now married to, the one thing that remained an embarrassing memory between them was what happened the night she’d dumped Mack. It was the same night he’d met Liv.

“The point is,” Alexis said calmly, “anyone who truly knows you knows that you have no patience for ostentation.”

“Yes.”

“You’re a very deliberate person, a serious person,” Alexis continued. “Colton thinks the entire world is one big dance party.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You hate Christmas. He’s basically Santa Claus.”

“Exactly.”

Liv snorted. “Which is why you’re perfect for each other.”

“Right. Wait, what?”

Alexis peeled away from the counter. “Opposites attract.”

“We’re not just opposites. We’re, like, from different planets. He spends his days with a private plane, and I spend mine with people who can barely buy groceries.”

“You care about the same things inside,” Alexis said. “That’s what matters.”

“Yep. You’re exactly what he needs, and vice versa.”

“I do not need Colton Wheeler. He’s—he’s . . .”

Alexis lifted her eyebrows as Gretchen searched for all the insults that used to come so easily to her.

“He’s annoying,” she finally said. “And arrogant. And . . .” Her brain unwittingly filled in the blanks. Generous. Kind. Funny. Devastatingly gorgeous.

“Trust me,” she finally answered. “We’re not compatible.”

Liv scrunched up her face. “Bummer. You’re so perfect for each other.”

Gretchen snorted. “Right.”

“I’m serious,” Liv said. “You’ve got that whole opposites-attract, grumpy-one-falls-for-the-sunshiny-one thing going on.”

“Mack has you reading romance novels, too, doesn’t he?”

“You should try them. They can be very inventive.” Liv wiggled her eyebrows for effect. But then she tugged them together. “Wait. Too? Is Colton trying to convert you?”

“Leave her alone,” Alexis chided.

“I need to get to the office,” Gretchen said, shaking her head.

Alexis glanced at her phone, blinked a couple of times, and then looked up at Gretchen with a sheepish expression. “So, I need you to believe me when I say I did not plan this.”

She gulped. “Plan what?”

The kitchen door swung open and a dark-haired Adonis strode in like he owned the place. He wore a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, and this time his vest was red. He carried two Christmas wreaths, one in each hand, that matched his green eyes. Eyes that were staring at her now in a way that suggested he’d been standing outside the door and heard everything they’d said.

He grinned. “Well, isn’t this convenient?”

No, it was not convenient. It was a nightmare. Another nightmare.

“What are you doing here?” Gretchen demanded. “Were you eavesdropping on us?”

He winked. “Nope, but now I’m super curious.” Colton then turned his gaze to Alexis and Liv. “Ladies, good to see you this morning. Y’all are looking gorgeous, as always.”

“Colton,” Alexis said, smiling nervously. “What brings you by?”

“Well, I was going to ask your opinion on these here Christmas wreaths, but seeing how the person I was going to give them to is standing right here, I could just ask her instead.”

Alexis didn’t even bother trying to hide her smile. “I see.”

Liv lifted her eyebrows at Gretchen. “Well, which one is better?”

“They both suck.”

Liv cackled. “This is why I love you. You’re even grouchier than I am.”

“It’s part of her charm,” Colton said. He raised the wreaths higher for Gretchen to consider. “One’s for your office and one is for home.”

“I don’t like Christmas decorations at work.”

“Probably this one then,” he said, thrusting forward the one of eucalyptus leaves. “It doesn’t scream Christmas. Just holiday.”

He stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to take it from his hands. Sighing, she finally reached for it. The scent of the eucalyptus leaves reminded her of a day spa, which, admittedly, was not unpleasant. Of course, the last time she’d spent any time at a day spa was for Evan’s wife’s bachelorette party, and that had been entirely unpleasant. She was the only bridesmaid who had not been a member of Anna’s college sorority, and they’d all treated her like a bug stuck to a corkboard. An oddity to poke and grimace at.