A Secret for a Secret (All In #3)(92)

Afterward we cuddle, me tucked into his side, his hand splayed protectively over my baby bump. I rest my head in the crook of his arm and lay my hand over his chest, feeling his heart beating steady beneath it. Calm, strong, constant.

“I’ve been thinking.” Our best conversations tend to happen in bed, postsex, when I’m cradled in his protective hold and my brain and body are the most settled.

He kisses my temple, and I can feel his slight smile. “About what?”

“With baby two on the way, I thought it might be a good idea to scale back my hours at the clinic and start working from home more.”

He stills and then shifts, tipping my chin up so he can see my face. His is passive, questioning, ready to hear me out. “Okay. Would you like to talk about the why behind the idea?”

“There will be lots of time for me to work as the kids get older, but I want to be here, with them and you, as much as I can right now. They’re where I want my focus. I’ll adjust my hours so I can keep my current clients, but I really want to be a mother first.” Scout was a bit of an accident. I always wanted children, but being raised the way I was, without a stable mother in the picture, made me hesitant. So when I missed a period, panic mode set in. All the what-ifs and the insecurities bubbled to the surface.

Fortunately, I have King, always calm and rational. Always here to help me up when I fall, to remind me that I’m worthy, I’m more than just enough, I’m his everything and he’s mine, and I would be the most amazing mother in the universe. It helps that I have his family, and the wives of his teammates to rely on, as well as my father, who finally found a love of his own. But that’s a whole different story.

Kingston gives me a soft, warm smile. “I’ll support whatever you want to do. I know you’ve worked hard for your career, though.” He kisses my fingertips, nailbeds forever outlined in a rainbow of paint. “And I would never want you to give up what makes you happy.”

I love this man so much. For the better part of four years he was the center of my entire world, and I never thought that would change . . . until Scout came along. He’s become the sun we orient ourselves around. And Kingston is exactly the kind of father I expected him to be: all in, devoted, present, and fully invested.

I’m not afraid of failing anymore, because no matter what, I have the most amazing man at my side. He’s always there to catch me when I fall and to celebrate every success, so making this choice is easy, because I know it’s what’s best not just for me but for our family.

“I’m not giving up what makes me happy; I’m adjusting my path so I can do all the things that make me happy, without compromising any of them. I want to give our kids what I never had, and the more hours I work, the less I can be here with them and you. And I honestly don’t want to split my time more than I already do. I want time with you and Scout, and eventually this little peanut.” I cover the hand on my belly with my own. “More than I want anything else.”

“If that’s what you want, then I think it’s exactly what you should do. And not just because it means I’ll get more of you.” He pulls me in closer, lips moving across my cheek and toward my mouth.

“I could always use more doses of my personal Valium,” I mumble against his lips.

He chuckles at one of my many nicknames I have for him and the almost sedative-like effect he has on me at times.

“And I can’t get enough of your chaos, so I think this arrangement is going to work well for both of us.”

And I don’t doubt for a second that it will.

He’s the calm to my storm.

My still lake at dawn.

My king.





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Hubs and kidlet, you are forever a source of inspiration and support. Thank you for always being my cheerleaders. I love you both endlessly. Mom, Dad, and Mel, thank you for being my family and for always supporting me.

Every book takes a team effort, and this one was no different. I’ve been so fortunate to have such a wonderful, supportive team of people to help bring this series into the book world. Kimberly, as always, I’m lucky to have you in my corner, always pushing me (gently) to do better and dig deeper.

To my Montlake team: you’ve been amazing cheerleaders and partners. Thank you for making this such a wonderful journey.

Debra, after more than a decade and a combined thirty-plus releases between us, you are forever the pepper to my salt. Thanks for putting up with me.

Tijan, you are such an incredible human being and genuine friend. Your kindness is unparalleled.

Leigh, thank you for being such a solid friend, for your insight, your positive words, and, of course, the magic that is the insult “boner killer.”

Sarah Pie, thank you for being so much more than a PA; you’re my friend, my sounding board, my organizer, and the leader of my teams. I could not do this without you. Hustlers, the same goes for you; I’m honored to have you with me every single time I release a book, holding my hand when I’m freaking out.

Beaver Den members, I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful group of readers. You’re always there to share in the excitement, try new things, and fall in love with new characters. You’re amazing, and I’m eternally grateful for you.

Sarah F., you, ma’am, are a rock star, and I adore you. I’m so glad we can be TMI with each other without even a second thought, or any kind of postshare regrets. My team at SPBR, you’re amazing, and you make every release that much easier to handle.