A Promise of Fire (Kingmaker Chronicles, #1)(73)
I look down, swishing my skirts. White and ivory flatter my complexion, but I prefer bold colors, and vanity makes me like this sea-green dress best. It’s a good match for my eyes. The draping is soft and light, flattering my curves. I haven’t been in linen this fine in years, and I can’t tell if my shiver as it tickles my legs is from pleasure or unease.
“This one suits you,” Jocasta says, echoing my thoughts. “Wear it tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“For dinner.”
“I don’t have to dress like this for the refectory.”
“But you’re dining with us.”
My stomach dips at the thought of seeing Griffin, especially dressed like this. “Why?”
She looks at me strangely. “Because we want you to.”
“Beta Team doesn’t eat with the royals.”
Jocasta laughs. The sound is light and full of joy. I wonder what my laughter would be like if I’d had a life like hers. “Half of Beta Team is royal. Besides, you’re more than just Beta Team.”
Whoa. What? “What do you mean?” I keep my voice even and airy. It doesn’t reflect years of wariness.
Jocasta takes a green ribbon from the pile of accessories on my bed. It matches the gown. “Griffin is ten years older than I am. All my life, I’ve seen women watch him, want him.” She presses the ribbon into my hand. “He looks at you the way they look at him.”
Adrenaline floods me until it feels like my heart is about to explode.
“You’re coming to dinner,” she says firmly, her azure eyes steady on mine.
I shake my head, fighting a rising sense of panic. “It’ll never happen.”
She gathers discarded gowns, the ones that didn’t fit. “Dinner or Griffin?”
“Griffin. He’ll get over it.”
She smiles at me like she pities me. “He’s very persistent.”
“I’m stubborn.”
“He’s stubborn.”
I swallow, thinking I might pity myself a little bit right now, too. “He abducted me. He threatened my friends. He kept me tied to him with a magic rope. I couldn’t even pee by myself. He’s awful.”
“You’ll get over it.” Jocasta cheerfully throws my own words back at me. “See you at dinner.”
I gape at her as she leaves. It’s strange not having the last word.
*
We lose ourselves in the trees and throw knives until our hands are raw. Flynn and Kato are hitting the target more often than not. I never miss, which leaves me arrogant and gleeful and them looking for a way to take me down. Wrestling does the trick.
“Gods! What do they feed you in the south? Minotaur meat?” I kick Flynn off me with a groan.
He grins, springing nimbly to his feet. “Another go?”
I shake my head, declining another squashing. “Why don’t we train with the others?” Everyone else from the barracks is in the blazing heat of the Athena courtyard with Piers, undergoing traditional drills.
Kato winks at me. “Because we’re better.”
“True.” I glance at the sky.
Kato squints up with me. “What are we looking for?”
“Lightning bolts. Punishment for our overwhelming arrogance.”
“Do you think the Gods are listening?” he asks, scratching his blond-stubbled jaw.
I shrug. “Do you think they’re not?”
“They’re listening to you, anyway,” Flynn says.
“One is.” Maybe two. Possibly three…
“Come on.” Wrapping his big hand around my elbow, Flynn tugs on my arm. “Let’s run so you can eat your spice cake tomorrow.”
Taking the long way, we jog back to the barracks and then go our separate ways. I visit Panotii with an apple, making him share since Kato, Flynn, and I skipped lunch while we were out in the woods. I brush Panotii until his chestnut coat shines and then sit on a barrel, stroking one of his enormous ears and stewing about dinner.
I use the women’s bathhouse again and spot Daphne and her two friends giving me the evil eye. The burn on her cheek is still red and puckered. I have no idea if she bothered Griffin about it, or if she’s even seen him. Or how much she might have seen of him.
My stomach hollows at the thought of them together. I know myself well, and I could list my own flaws until I pass out from lack of air. I’m not beyond jealousy, or spite, or completely illogical behavior, and seeing Daphne helps me decide—I’ll go to dinner at the castle.
Back in my room, I dress in the green gown and silently thank Jocasta for tucking a pair of high-heeled sandals under the foot of my bed. I can’t do anything elaborate with my hair without a maid, so I take simplicity to a new level and tie it at the nape of my neck with a simple bow. I probably look Kaia’s age, but I don’t really care.
Delicate sandals. A long, flowing dress. Gold shoulder clasps. A green ribbon.
This should feel comfortable. Familiar. Instead, it feels like the past is creeping up on me without giving me any choice.
Anxiety churns in my stomach as I knock on Flynn’s door. Kato is with him. They’re playing cards, and it smarts that I wasn’t invited.
Squaring my shoulders, I ask, “Do I look all right? I don’t have a mirror.”