A Not So Meet Cute(137)

“He’s here?” Ashley asks, jumping up and down, her boobs bobbing with her. “Oh my God, Donny, we need to meet him. Tomorrow night, let’s have dinner together.”

And this is why you don’t say a name people know.

Damn you, Mai Tais, we’re done.

You had your chance, and you didn’t play your cards right. It’s over between us.

“You know, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh, so you’re not really together then?” Ashley asks, a challenging glint in her eye.

And that right there, that one look, pushes me over the edge.

Something in me snaps.

Maybe it’s the athlete in me.

Maybe it’s the Mai Tais.

Maybe it’s my jealous breasts who wish they were as perky and nice as Ashley’s, but I up the ante on the delusional situation I seem to be in.

“Oh, we’re together. We, uh . . . we’re actually engaged too but we’re not saying anything since we’re here on our friends’ wedding trip.”

“You’re ENGAGED?” Cora brings her hands to her head in utter shock.

Ugh, how could I forget she was still here?

Ignoring Cora, I say, “So, yeah, happy and in love.”

“Stelly, I’m so happy for you,” Dad says in a warm tone as he scoops me up into a hug and presses a kiss to the top of my head like he used to when I was growing up. “This calls for celebration.” He holds my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “Tomorrow night, dinner. You, me, Ashley, and Romeo. I’ll text you the details.”

Ashley smiles at me. “I can’t wait.” And then she comes up to me and pulls me into a hug. “We’re going to have the best mother-daughter relationship.” When she lets go of me, she pinches my cheek and then steps away. Giving me a small once-over, she says, “And maybe while you’re here we can go shopping together, get you something more . . . modern?”

“That would make me very happy, seeing you two spend some time together.”

Over my dead and Mai Tai’d body.

Dad tips my chin up. “See you tomorrow.” And then with his hand to Ashley’s lower back, he guides her out of the souvenir shop.

Leaning against the wall with an open Pop-Tart package—when did she grab that?—Cora says, “Wow, just wow. Family reunion, two secret engagements, and no Fireball to skew our thoughts. What a night.”

I swat the Pop-Tart away and watch it hit the floor before looking into Cora’s eyes. “We’re not engaged, nor are we in a relationship, nor have we ever come close to touching each other. I just said that to save face.”

“What?” Cora whines. “Ugh, come on. You literally just peed all over my parade.”

“Ugh, you just had to escalate it with your oohing and ahhing.”

“I didn’t ooh and ahh, and why are you lying, anyway?”

“Uh, did you not happen to notice that my dad is engaged to a woman two years older than me? Or better yet, to a woman who was my archenemy in high school?”

Cora gasps. “Noooooo, really? Ooo, plot twist.”

“No, not plot twist. This is my life.”

Cora starts to giggle. Then snorts. Loudly. “How do you suppose you’re going to get the Master of Sneer to attend dinner with you?”

Shit.

Things I didn’t think through.

Ugh . . . crap.