A Necessary Sin (The Sin Trilogy, #1)(78)

He stands and strips while I watch the show from the best seat in the house. When he’s as bare as I am, he crawls over my body until we’re face to face. He traces my bottom lip with his fingertips. He gazes at my eyes, studying them, as though he’s memorizing every fleck of blue and gold.

His body nestles between my legs and he enters me gently. He’s moving slowly, never taking his eyes from mine. I touch his face, cradling his scruffy cheek in my palm. He leans into it and places his hand on top of mine, pressing it harder against his skin. He squeezes his eyes shut, as though he’s savoring my touch. They’re still closed tightly when he tenses and groans, thrusting himself deep inside me. I feel the light quivers of his body inside mine before he goes completely lax over me.

He lies motionless between my legs while remaining inside. I trace my fingernails up and down his back, bringing goosebumps to the surface. I love doing that to him.

“Into me … you see.” He opens his eyes to look at me again and I’m overcome with an emotion I’ve never known. My heart feels as though it might burst from happiness, and I don’t want to contain it any longer. “I love you, Sinclair.”

I go motionless when I feel the cold barrel of a handgun pressed firmly beneath my chin, my head extended upward, painfully so. “What are you doing?”

“After the first betrayal, there is no other.”

I have no idea what he means. “What are you talking about? I haven’t betrayed you.”

“Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?” he yells.

Oh, shit! What does he know?

“Hands behind your head. Now!” I slowly do as he orders.

“Breck, whatever you’ve uncovered, it doesn’t matter. You know the real me.” He shoves the barrel into my jawline so hard, it’s digging into my skin.

“I thought I did.” He bites his lower lip and shakes his head. “Tell me, Bleu. If you play the role well enough, does it become real?” His voice cracks on the last word. He’s hurting but I don’t forget who is holding the gun to my head. This is Sinclair Breckenridge. He’ll kill me if he believes I’ve compromised him or the brotherhood. I have zero doubt about that.

Say what you have to say to sell it. “Ask me again who I am.”

He does as I tell him. “Who are you?”

“I’m your Bonny Bleu, the one in love with you.”

“Says the woman with a gun to her head,” he sneers. “You’ll say any-f*cking-thing to keep me from blowing your brains out right now.”

“Fuck! Why can’t I do this?” He squeezes his eyes shut and I move my hand to his, the one holding the gun. I slowly push it away from my face.

“Because you’re not a monster.”

He rises and sits back, resting the gun against his thigh. He uses his free hand to fist his hair. “You’re a f*cking FBI agent.”

“I was. Past tense. I quit.” I need that gun out of his hand. “I’m not sure I can talk about all of this while you’re still holding that. It’s more than a little distracting, considering you were holding it to my head threatening to kill me only a minute ago.” I gesture toward the nightstand. “Do you think you could maybe put it over there while we talk about this?”

“No sudden moves, Bleu. I mean it. You know what I’m capable of.” He hesitates for a moment and then places it on the nightstand. “Who are you working for?”

“No one.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I’m here for me.” It’s finally out there. “I came to avenge a murder. Your father shot and killed my mother.”

“Abram was right again. You are Amanda Lawrence’s daughter.”

“The world thinks I died that night. That isn’t the case, as you can see.”

“My father didn’t kill your mother. He loved her.”

“You’re wrong. I was there. I saw him. And when he was finished, he held a pillow over my face until I stopped fighting. He thought I was dead.”

“If you’ll stop and think about it, you’ll realize you’re confused.”

He’s relaxed so I make a move for the gun. I’m surprised when he doesn’t try to stop me. “Both hands on top of your head. Slowly move to your back on the other side of the bed.”

He smiles while doing as I ordered.

I reach under the mattress and retrieve the handcuffs I’d hidden for a time such as this. I toss them onto his chest. “Handcuff yourself to the headboard.”

He shakes his head while doing as I’ve told him. “I as good as placed that gun in your hand myself.”

I know. Sinclair Breckenridge would never be so careless.

“Why haven’t you killed my father since that’s what you came to do? You’ve had countless opportunities, yet you haven’t.”

I don’t answer as I go through the clothes on the floor. I find what belongs to me and I begin dressing.

“Because you fell in love with me,” he says.

I’m in my panties and bra with my dress in my hands. “I did. And it ruined everything.” I pull my dress over my head and step into my shoes, careful to not take the gun off Sin.

“I fell in love with you too.”

“Says the man handcuffed to a bed.”