A Necessary Sin (The Sin Trilogy, #1)(47)

“Oh.”

“And I don’t remember the drive home.”

“Infection wouldn’t be unusual after a gunshot wound so I understand the fever and chills but your mental status shouldn’t be affected. That concerns me.”

She isn’t the only one. “Tell no one except Jamie.”

“Not even your parents?”

“Especially my parents.” I don’t want my father to tell Abram I’m not well. He could see it as a perfect opportunity to act out against Bleu a second time. “I mean it. I have important reasons for them not knowing. Not a word.”

“I won’t.”

I lie on the couch waiting for Jamie. I didn’t think it was possible but I feel worse by the time he arrives. “Your temp is 103. How long have you been running a fever?”

“No idea.”

He listens to my chest. “Your respirations and heart rate are faster than they should be. Something’s definitely going on.” He pushes up my pant leg and squeezes my ankle. “You been pissing normally?”

“What constitutes normal?”

“Has the color or amount changed?”

I hadn’t considered that until now. “It’s darker and I’m not going as often.”

“In the very least, you need an IV and antibiotics.”

“Then let’s do it.”

He sits in the chair across from me. “I’d be treating you blindly. You need blood cultures to make sure this isn’t something worse than a simple infection. I don’t have a lab so you’ll need to go to the hospital.”

“Come on, Jamie. You know I can’t go into a hospital.” I haven’t stepped foot in one since the day I was discharged six years ago. I’m not sure I can do it.

“I wouldn’t advise you to go if I thought I could treat you here. I’m sorry but we need to rule out an inflammatory response to infection. I don’t have the things I need for that.”

“Inflammatory response? What does that mean?” Bleu asks.

“It’s a way the body sometimes responds to infection.”

I think this could be something serious but he’s not telling me. “Don’t dance around, bullshitting me with medical jargon. What do you think is happening?”

“Have you experienced any confusion?”

This isn’t good. “I’ve had two incidents.”

I’m not going to like this answer. “I think you’re becoming septic. That means you can’t wait. You must go now so a culture can be done immediately. The results will identify the antibiotic that will best treat your infection.”

This isn’t what I want to hear. I can’t protect Bleu from Abram if I’m lying in a hospital bed. But I guess I can’t if I’m dead, either.



* * *



I’m certain my condition has worsened by the time we arrive at the hospital. Jamie does all the talking when I’m being assessed, which is a good thing since I’m becoming increasingly confused.

I’m admitted and treatment is started as soon as I’m diagnosed with sepsis. The whole thing happens quickly and I’m concerned about who will watch after Bleu while I’m unable.

“Thane needs to know you’re here and what’s happening.”

Jamie’s right. I can’t keep this from him. “Aye. When you call, will you ask my mum to come to the hospital? I need to talk to her.” I need my mother for the first time in twenty years.

“Aye, I will.”

Jamie leaves and Bleu comes in to sit with me. Neither she nor Jamie mentions it but I know my status is declining rapidly. I recognize it in my inability to concentrate clearly. “I have things to say to you before I’m unable to string two thoughts together.”

She wraps her hand around mine and leans closer. “Okay.”

“If I don’t make it, you need to leave Edinburgh on the first plane out of Scotland and never look back.”

“No!” She sits up, back stiffening, and stares at me. “What are you talking about? You’re not going to die.”

I don’t want to use the last of my coherent time arguing. “Promise me you’ll get out as soon as possible if I meet death.”

She brings my hand to her lips and kisses it. “Yes. I will leave but you’re not dying on me.”

“Bonny, I’m nothing if not realistic. People die from sepsis all the time. I’ve seen it happen to brothers after gunshot wounds.”

“No.” She brings my hand to her face, rubbing against her cheek. “I just found happiness for the first time in my life. There’s no way I’m letting it go.”

“You never lifted the veil.”

“Then I guess you better stick around if you want to learn my secrets.”

“I want to know everything about Bonny Bleu.” She kisses my knuckles and closes her eyes tightly. A single tear slips down her cheek. “I’m not choosing to let go. I’m going to fight but it’s out of my hands.”

She opens her eyes as she laces her fingers through mine and squeezes. “Into me … you see,” she whispers.

I nod and bring our hands up so I can kiss hers. “Into me … you see.”

I hear the sound of someone clearing their voice and discover my parents standing in the doorway. “We can come back after you’re finished talking.”