A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime(99)

“I’m getting it. You should get one too. Give it to your parents. Tell them it represents you.” He nods toward the other birds sitting on the shelf.

“That’s a good idea.” I look over the remaining birds, choosing my favorite one before I follow after Crew. A question suddenly pops into my mind and I hesitate before blurting, “Do you want anything for Christmas?”

He turns to face me. “From you?”

“Well, yeah.” I roll my eyes. Like this is no big thing.

But it feels like a very big thing. A scary thing.

“If you want.” He starts heading for the short line to get rung up and I fall into step behind him.

“Are you getting me something for Christmas?” Oh, I sound pathetic. Silly. Maybe even a little desperate.

The smile he sends in my direction makes me catch my breath. “I’ve considered it. Even came up with a few options.”

My curiosity is piqued now. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you. It should be a surprise.”

I’m scowling. I can feel it. “I hate surprises.”

He just laughs, stopping at the back of the line to purchase the bird. I’m standing next to him, thinking of all the things he could possibly get me for Christmas/my birthday. I wish I could spend it with him. I’ll be expected to spend the day with my parents and any other year, I would have no problem with that. I didn’t need guests on my special day. We always planned a small party afterward with my friends, and this year, for my eighteenth, I planned on having a big bash.

All of those plans went away. Evaporated, just like most of my friendships did. Now the only person I want to spend my birthday with is Crew.

Would he want to join us? Would my father even allow it? Even if Daddy approved, it would be a big deal, having Crew come meet my parents. I don’t know if he would even want to. That makes our relationship seem so serious.

I don’t think we’re to that point yet.

“What are you doing for the holidays?” I ask, my tone casual. As if I’m just making light conversation.

Really, I’m digging.

“I’ll be at my parents’ house, like I told you. I think we’re all getting together on Christmas Eve this year, since Charlotte has plans on Christmas Day,” Crew says. “She’ll be with her new in-laws.”

I remember seeing the photos from her wedding a few months ago. It was beautiful. Her dress, stunning.

“When I was younger, we’d all get together at my uncle’s house in Long Island. We’d stay there for days and it was fun. But as we got older, we didn’t do it as much. Especially after my aunt and uncle divorced. Then things really fell apart,” he explains.

I think of my parents and their divorce announcement—and Daddy telling me they’re going to try and repair their marriage. I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Will this make the holidays weird and uncomfortable? I hope not.

Once we leave the store, we find a bakery that also serves coffee, so we get in line, ordering frosted sugar cookies and lattes before we’re back outside, leaning against the brick building and enjoying our treats.

“It’s so cold out here.” I set the bag holding our cookies on the window ledge and wrap my hands around my to-go coffee cup. “Too bad there were no tables available inside.”

Crew pulls his cookie out of the bag. It’s a giant pale blue star. He holds it out to me and I bite off one of the points, chewing. It’s an explosion of sweet sugar and crisp cookie, and I can’t help the moan that escapes me.

“This is so good,” I murmur after I swallow.

He’s watching me with hooded eyes as he bites off another star point, and I realize this was his plan all along. He likes to watch me eat.

“It is good,” he agrees, dropping his cookie back into the bag before he grabs his coffee and takes a swig. “You want to go to dinner tonight?”

“Maybe.” I prefer to stay in, like he suggested. This is our last night. And we haven’t done anything since last night before dinner.

I sort of want to do more. Take it further. I feel so comfortable with him, and everything between us feels so right. He seems to care about me, and I definitely don’t think he’s using me.

I think of my father and his reaction. If he knew we were together this weekend, just the two of us, he would be furious. I’d probably be banned from ever seeing Crew again. And the thought of that, of never seeing him…

Fills me with panic.

“Maybe? Are you turning down a chance to go out for a meal?” I think he knows how much I like going out to eat.

“I think I’d rather stay in for the night.”

He raises a brow while I take a sip of coffee. “You don’t want to look at Christmas lights?”

I shake my head. “Not really.”

“I thought that was on your agenda.”

“Agendas can change.”

His smile is slow. Almost wolfish. I can imagine him taking a bite out of me, and enjoying every minute of it. “I don’t mind staying in with you.”

“Maybe we could pick up a pizza,” I suggest, peeking inside the white bag and contemplating if I want to eat my ornament-shaped cookie or not. I think I’ll save it for later.

“Or we could order room service,” he says.