A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime(138)

When it’s close to midnight, I end up standing by the Christmas tree, staring out at the city’s glittering lights. The heavy scent of pine still lingers, and I glance over at the tree, taken by the white lights. Crew comes up to me, I see his reflection in the window. He wraps his arm around my middle, his hand splayed across my stomach as I lean into his solid weight behind me.

“I want to tear off this dress.” He streaks his fingers across my stomach.

“If you tear it, I’ll hurt you.”

He chuckles near my ear. “So ferocious. You’ve learned how to step it up, Birdy.”

Thanks to him. And my mother. And my own self. I don’t need to be scared and worried all the time. I can do things on my own.

I can be my own person. I don’t need anyone’s help—unless I ask for it.

And it’s perfectly okay to ask for it.

“It’s eleven-fifty-two,” he whispers in my ear. “Want to be naked and in my bed by midnight?”

“No. We have guests,” I say primly. “I want to be right here with glasses of champagne and we can toast each other when the clock strikes twelve. What do you think?”

“I think you’re trying to reenact your deepest fantasy,” he says.

“I think you want to reenact my deepest fantasy, thanks to this party you threw me,” I remind him.

I remember how I told him about this not so long ago. How I wanted to have a combination New Year’s Eve/birthday party. Yet my birthday is over. The year is almost finished.

A new year is dawning and my life is about to change. It already has.

In the best possible way.

“How about we toast each other, kiss right at midnight, and then you can take me to your bed and do whatever you want to me,” I suggest to him.

“Fuck, are you serious?” I glance up at him to see that hopeful expression on his face and I want to laugh.

“I’m dead serious.” It’s the least I can do after everything he’s given me. Besides, I’ll benefit from it no matter what.

“I can get Ez and Malcolm to kick everyone out eventually.”

I smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Let me grab some champagne.”

He leaves me standing by the tree and I turn toward it, lightly touching the branches. The delicate ornaments hanging there. They’re all white and some look made of spun glass. Delicate snowflakes and trees. Thin glass balls and twisted candy canes.

“Here you go.” Crew hands me a champagne glass full of golden, bubbly liquid while keeping one for himself. The music shuts off and the TV is turned on, one of those New Year’s Eve countdown shows on. “We’ve got three minutes till midnight.”

“Getting closer.” Nerves fizz in my stomach, and for once on this night, they feel good. They feel right. This new year is going to be one full of endless possibilities. Big changes. An exciting future.

People start passing out hats and noise makers, and I take one, blowing it in Crew’s face. He grimaces, snatching it out of my hand.

“What color are you wearing tonight?” He’s talking about my lips.

“Sensible is the name.” I smile, desperate to take a sip of my champagne but wanting to wait for it to hit midnight first. “You like?”

“I love all the colors on your lips so far. Best gift I could’ve ever given you—and myself.”

“You never did tell me how the salesperson reacted when you made your request,” I tease him.

“She thought I was joking.” He chuckles. “I then launched into a long explanation about the art and the story behind it, and when I was finished, she said she would love to help me.” His gaze finds mine. “She told me I must really love this girl and I told her yeah. Actually, I do.”

My heart is overflowing with emotion at what he just said. The way he’s looking at me. The crowd gathers together around the TV, some of them standing close to us, and Malcolm has a noise maker, which he blows at us, making me laugh.

“The countdown is almost on!” someone announces.

“Less than a minute,” Crew whispers, and I realize I don’t want to watch it on TV when we could look out the window and witness part of the actual countdown happen outside. We’ll be able to see fireworks at least.

“Let’s look out at the city,” I suggest, and we both turn to stare out the window, our backs to everyone.

He’s watching me. And I’m watching him. When everyone else starts to count down, he does too, his voice soft.

Just for me.

“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.”

I join him.

“Five. Four. Three. Two. One.”

“Happy New Year, Birdy.” His face is so close, his lips brush mine when he speaks.

“Happy New Year,” I murmur just before I kiss him.

Despite the yelling and shouting from our party goers, I also can hear the dull explosions of fireworks shooting into the air. The roar of people welcoming the new year down on the streets. I pull away, to watch the fireworks. Red and white blasts of color fill the sky, and Crew slips his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into him, his glass clinking next to mine.

“To the new year,” he says.

“To the new year,” I repeat before we both take a drink.

The champagne fizzes in my throat and I take another sip, eventually draining the glass. Crew does the same, taking my glass from me and setting them on a nearby table before he grabs my hand and leads me back to his bedroom.