A Magic Steeped in Poison (The Book of Tea #1) (55)

Kang’s concern draws me in, his touch a promise. He’s waiting for my answer, and I give in to the pull, leaning forward to close the distance between us. The lightest brush of my lips against his. He tips my head up and deepens the kiss, until it is a different sort of drowning, until we are forced to draw breath. The tunic falls from my shoulders as he pulls me closer, enveloping me in the warmth of his body.

We are both a little breathless when we let go of each other.

“Thank you,” I murmur, and try to self-correct: “I mean … for saving my life.”

“I’ll rescue you ten times over if I will be kissed like that every time,” he declares, making me laugh, chasing away my embarrassment.

“Ning…” His expression changes from amused to serious in an instant, and I know it is a practiced thing to have such control of his emotions. “You are the first girl who has ever greeted me with a swift kick to the shins. The first girl who has ever made me feel … normal.”

“That is decidedly abnormal,” I tell him after a pause, not knowing how else to respond.

“You asked me before … about Lǜzhou.” He touches his chest. “They marked us with a traitor’s brand. When I first arrived, I tried to hide it, but it made me look odd, wearing a tunic when everyone else was bare-chested. Then I realized they all recognized me anyway, so it was easier to stop hiding. It was a long time before they accepted me.”

I think he understands, as I do. How it feels not to belong.

Kang leans away from me, running pebbles through his fingers, not meeting my eyes. “They respected my father, because he fought against the raiders from the mountains. He defended their homeland, and my mother … she was descended from their clans. She was to be betrothed to the emperor, did you know that? When my father stopped the raiders, he brought her to the capital to be wed to the emperor at my grandmother’s request, but the marriage never happened.”

“The general claimed her as his own,” I say, repeating what was taught to me in the history lessons. One of the many crimes the Prince of Dài was accused of. Forcing a political marriage for his own gain, driving a wedge between brothers—

“No!” he says sharply. “They grew close on the journey from Lǜzhou to Jia, and she refused to have another. The dowager empress acquiesced, in time … but history will always remember my father as the one who stole another’s intended.”

I am beginning to understand that history is never so simple. Not the story of my parents, not the story of Kang’s parents, or the two of us … I quickly bury the thought, knowing it is something dangerous, something I do not dare to imagine.

I realize I can turn this into an opportunity to find out more of what the princess has asked me to uncover, even as the guilt gnaws at me in turn. “Do you hate him? The emperor?”

“I … I don’t know,” he says hesitantly. “He did everything in his power to destroy my family, but he was also a capable ruler in some aspects. He could have executed us all, but instead he sent us into exile, against the recommendations of his own advisers.”

I’m not sure I would have been able to say something so reasonable about someone who threatened the people I love.

“I wanted to meet him and see for myself the type of man my uncle was after all these years.” He shakes his head. “Now I will never get the chance.”

“The people at court … the ones you said were still loyal to your father…” I venture forth with more questions. “Did they tell you how the emperor died?”

Kang’s head swerves back to look at me, his gaze suddenly sharp. “Why does it matter?”

Careful, Ning …

“There have been rumors he was poisoned by the Shadow.”

He waits expectantly, and I decide to tell him, in the hopes it will chase away his obvious suspicion. “My mother was one of the victims of the poisoned tea bricks,” I explain. “That is why I am here. Why I need to win the favor of the princess.”

He considers this, frowning deeply. Finally he says, “My sympathies. I know the sharpness of that pain. My birth mother passed giving birth to me. My birth father was a commander with the K?iláng battalion, who died on the battlefield. My adopted mother took me in, ensured that I knew I was wanted. Protected me even when there were those in her own household who were offended at my presence. When I lost her … a part of me died as well.”

He draws me closer again, this time offering only an embrace for warmth and comfort. I rest my head on his shoulder, even though I know I shouldn’t be grateful for this fleeting moment.

“But…,” he says after a pause. “You say your mother’s death is related to the favor you want to ask of the princess. Are you looking for vengeance?”

“I would ask for the head of the Shadow if I could,” I snap, and the vehemence in my voice reminds me of the anger that continues to simmer under the surface. I close my eyes and turn my face away. He has seen too much of my frustrations and my failures.

To his credit, Kang does not react to my outburst. He only plays with my hair, running the strands through his fingers.

“Did you know,” he says, his breath stirring my hair, “the women of the Emerald Isles are a fierce lot? They know how to fish with a spear and dive for pearls as well as the men. They are just as adept at spear-fighting. I doubt my father could have forced my mother into anything. It was said she challenged him to a duel for her hand in marriage.”