A Lie for a Lie (All In, #1)(83)

“The girls have all been through this before—they’ll manage. Now smile and take some selfies with yer fans.”

Dressed-up women and sweaty guys surround us. Arms wrap around my waist and camera phones flash in my face as more and more people realize there’s something going on that they want to be a part of. People push and shove each other out of the way. Two guys in the middle of the crowd bump chests like they’re thinking about having a go at each other, while the rest of the drunken fans skirt around them.

Alex yells at everyone to calm down and take it easy as the horde of fans continues to grow. Security seems to have finally found their way to the fringe of the ever-expanding crowd, and they move people out of the way, trying to clear the congestion.

Four girls make that weird duck face and snap a million selfies with our group behind them and their flashes on, blinding us all collectively.

I blink through the dots in my vision in time to see paramedics rush by, heading in the same direction the girls went. I have no idea how long we’ve been stuck here, signing napkins and taking pictures.

“What the fuck is going on?” I ask Alex, who’s standing right beside me.

“I dunno.”

“What if something happened to Lainey? What if she’s having a panic attack?” I can feel my own chest tighten at the thought of her having one without me there to help calm her.

“Let me check Violet’s messages.”

Security finally breaks through the crowd and makes a path for us, giving us an out. I try to head in the direction the paramedics went, but I’m too big to get through the crowd without hurting people.

“Shit, shit, shit.” I run my hands through my hair, my own anxiety ratcheting up. I turn and grab Alex by the lapels of his suit jacket. “What if she’s not okay? What if the goddamn paramedics are here for her? This was so fucking stupid. We should’ve stayed in tonight. Now she’s going to be totally overwhelmed. What if she decides this is too much? What if she can’t handle this part of my life? Shit. I can’t even handle it right now!”

Time seems to move too quickly and too slowly. I have no idea how long it’s been since the paramedics came through. They could’ve gone out a back way with her.

Alex claps me on the back of the neck. “Take a breath, man. It’s not always gonna be like this. The girls are with her, and they’re not going to let her go anywhere without you. Violet says they’re not in the bathroom anymore.”

“Where the hell are they?”

“It looks like they’re in the private room now.”

My throat feels tight as I follow the security detail—which we probably should’ve had right from the start—up to the second floor. The private room overlooks the dance floor and is full of my teammates. I frantically scan the room for Lainey, but it’s dark, and everyone is freaking bigger than she is. I finally spot Violet in her red dress and beeline for her. “Where’s Lainey? Is she okay?”

“She’s right over—” Violet thumbs over her shoulder, and I don’t even wait until she’s finished speaking before I head in the direction she pointed.

I find Lainey in the corner over by the bar, flanked on either side by Sunny and Poppy. I grab her and pull her against my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. We can go home. I didn’t think it was going to be so intense. I’m so sorry.”

She’s rigid in my arms, and I’m terrified that I’ve fucked this all up, that it’s too much too soon and that I’ve undone all the progress we’ve made with one stupid decision. She puts a hand on my chest and pushes, so I reluctantly release my hold on her and step back. My anxiety is through the roof, and I finally have some inkling as to how she must feel when things get totally out of control for her, because I feel like everything is out of control for me.

“Take a breath.” Her warm, soft hand smooths up my chest.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. Let’s go home. We’ll use a back exit.”

“RJ, I’m fine.” She settles a palm on my cheek, and I cover it with my hand, keeping her connected to me.

“But we were swarmed.” I run my free hand down her arm and search her face and any other exposed skin for marks or bruises or any other sign that she’s been harmed in some way. “And then I couldn’t see where you’d gone and you have my phone and there were so many fucking people and I didn’t know where you were.” Jesus. I think I’m losing it right now.

“Hey, hey.” Lainey takes my face in both her hands. “Deep breath, baby. I’m here, and I’m fine.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “Looks like my big teddy bear needs some safety cuddles.”

I pull her against me, not really caring if I look weak or like an idiot, because she’s right. I need her—to feel her and know she’s safe and here. I bury my face against her neck and work on calming the hell down. “I thought this was going to be too much for you, and then you’d leave me.”

She keeps her arms draped over my shoulders but leans back, forcing me to lift my head. “Why would I leave you over something like this?”

I keep my arms locked around her waist so she can’t go anywhere, not that it seems like she’s planning to. “I just . . . I thought it would be too much like what happened when you were in college, and then you’d decide you couldn’t handle it, or me, or my life, and then you’d say forget it.”