A Kingdom of Venom and Vows (Stars and Shadows #3)(26)

“Today?” There was something in my gut that hardened. Something that I had been clinging to each passing second since I’d been here. It was a hope for what was to come. A hope for who was to save me, but in that moment, it slipped through my fingers. If I were to be saved, I would have to do it myself.

I feared that Gavril’s magic was too strong to fight. If Evren couldn’t get to me, how would I ever be able to get out on my own.

Because even with every ounce of hope slipping out of my grasp, I still held firmly to the truth that Evren was my mate, and I loved him.

I forced myself to remember those facts as my fear consumed me.

“I am to get you ready.” Eletta grimaced and sadness took over her face.

I turned away before she met my eyes.

I went through the motions with Eletta, letting her do my hair and cover my face with rouge, but with every passing second, the anxiety and anger inside of me burned deeper and deeper.

I was angry with Gavril for bringing me here. I was angry with him for trying to force my hand into this marriage. I was also angry with myself because I was the one who had agreed to come. I had agreed because I knew the moment he had taken Evren that they would have killed him.

Evren was only good to them dead, but they would use me. Gavril would use every ounce of life I had inside of me, and that was the only card I had to play.

My life over Evren’s death.

Thoughts of my father ran through me. What did he think when I left with our enemy? When I had to willingly give myself over to the man who had been responsible for torturing him? Did he feel as betrayed as Evren must have?

I stared down at the scar on my wrist that was still fresh and throbbing from where Gavril had fed from me as Eletta clasped more bracelets over the wound. She didn’t say a word as she worked, but her normally deft fingers fumbled over her task.

Eletta helped me into the dress, the weight of the fabric heavy around my hips and falling to the floor in a mass of fabric.

Tiny crystals covered the length of the fabric shimmering in the light of the fire, and I knew that I probably looked exactly like the Starblessed they wanted me to be. This was the mask they painted on me. A mask that forced me to play the part of the girl that would save their kingdom, but I would do no such thing.

If Gavril was to marry me, I would do nothing but fight him. I would do everything in my power to destroy anything he worked toward, and I didn’t care what I had to sacrifice to do so.

“Would you like to see?” Eletta motioned toward the mirror, and I stood before it and took myself in for the first time.

To those of this kingdom, I had to look like the Starblessed that was promised, but if only they looked deeper, they would see the deep circles under my eyes that Eletta had tried to cover. The way my weight had dropped significantly since arriving in this kingdom.

If they removed the jewels from my wrist and the fabric that covered my thighs, they would see the scars from their ruler who took from me and attempted to force my obedience. If they looked even harder, they would see a heartbroken girl who was just trying to survive.

That was all I could see staring back at me. I no longer recognized this girl. I saw my mother in the brown eye staring back at me, but I didn’t dare look into the blue one. That color belonged to my father. And he had survived this torture for years. I would be ashamed to look into what he had given me and see what I had become.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Eletta’s gaze flew up to meet mine in the mirror. “It’s time.”

She moved to the door and pulled it open. A burst of cool air entered the room. I rubbed up and down my arms as chill bumps crawled across my skin, but it was no use. Nothing would warm me from the chill this kingdom brought.

Nothing but Evren.

I followed after Eletta, but I moved slowly, tracking my steps and looking through doorways.

There was nothing I could see that would provide me a way out. No escape from this palace. I reached forward, grabbing Eletta’s hand in mine, and she swung back to look at me with her eyes wide.

“Please.” I looked around the hall, but the guard in front of us was barely paying us any attention. “Please, Eletta. I cannot go through with this.”

The color drained from Eletta’s face, and there was a ghost of hesitation in her eyes. That spark of hope that had died out flickered back to life as I looked at her. I bit down on my lip and prayed that she would help me.

Eletta looked over her shoulder toward the guard before slowly looking back at me. “I… I can’t.” She shook her head and her hand trembled in mine.

My words caught in my throat as I tried to take a deep breath, but I knew where her loyalties lay. I knew where her fear did.

“Of course.” I straightened my shoulders and moved past the lady-in-waiting without saying another word. There was pity written all over her face. It would do me no good.

Her pity was useless to me, and we both knew it.

I headed toward the throne room, but the guard motioned for me to go down the long hall. I had never been to this part of the castle before, and I hated feeling so unprepared for what was to come.

But I moved forward in the direction he sent me. I took slow, calculated breaths and tried to keep myself calm as I heard the chatter of a crowd somewhere before me.

We reached the end of the hall where more guards gathered, at least a half dozen, and I looked around each of them and met their gazes.