A Kingdom of Blood and Betrayal (Stars and Shadows #2)(63)
I shook my head, but she continued.
“Sorin is fun, but the two of us will never be.”
“I don’t think he realizes that.”
“He does.” She stood and placed one of the books back on its shelf. “Sorin knows far more about me than I ever intended him to.”
“And you hate that?” I asked.
“Of course, I do.” She trailed her fingers over the books, and I wondered what she was looking for. “Like I said before, knowledge is power.”
I looked down at the book in front of me as I thought about her words. She was right. Knowledge was power, and fear consumed me as I thought about my own lack of knowing who I was.
My chest ached as I thought of my father. I was equal parts him and my mother, but the only parts of him I knew were due to seeing them through me. My stubbornness, my fight… I knew those didn’t come from my mother, and I could only assume I got them from him.
“In that other book you gave me…” I closed the book in front of me and looked back up at Thalia. “It talked about Starblessed being able to amplify their power through nature, to pull from their own supply of power somehow.”
Thalia turned toward me and leaned back against the shelf. “I have read of it, but I’ve never seen it done. It makes sense, though.” Her gaze dropped to her feet. “Our magic is like a well. If we use too much of it, we can drain it completely. Only rest and time can refill that well, but I’ve read that in great times of need, Starblessed have garnered strength from elsewhere.”
“Have you ever emptied your power?”
She hesitated for a long moment and clenched her jaw as she spoke. “Only once.”
“With Gavril?”
Her gaze snapped up to meet mine, and she pressed a trembling hand against her neck. “Gavril was never strong enough to completely drain me, although he tried many times.”
A heaviness settled into my chest as I listened to her without muttering a sound.
“There was once when he came close. It was right before I got out.” She absently toyed with the edge of her shirt as her eyes glazed over with the memory. “When they took me back to my cell, I could feel bone-deep tiredness in me, but I was so angry. I shot what was left of my power out of me, and I didn’t care where it went. I just wanted to get rid of it for a moment. I wanted to rid myself of the thing Gavril wanted most, and I did.”
She swallowed hard, and her gaze met mine again.
“The guards ran from the room in panic as my magic bolted toward them. I was prepared from them to go after Gavril, for him to come back in fury, but it wasn’t him. They went after their captain, and Evren was the only one who was willing to come in my cell. I can still remember the taste of the guard’s fear as they scrambled, but there was no fear in Evren’s eyes.”
My heart ached as I watched my friend relive her hell. I knew nothing of what she had been through. I had been spared by Evren before I ever knew of the horrors she remembered.
“I was prepared to fight Evren, hand to hand if I had to until my magic returned, and he knew it. He reached out for me, and I somehow managed to knock him on his ass. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized he was going to help get me out.”
“And you’ve not seen Gavril since?”
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “It is my understanding that he believes me to be dead.”
“Then maybe you should stay out of sight when he arrives. Let him continue on with that belief.”
“No.” She shook her head firmly. “Just like you, I won’t hide. I want to look him in the face and see his reaction when he realizes that I not only escaped him but how highly his brother regards me.”
Pride bloomed in my chest as I stared at her. She had become my friend in the short time I had been in the Blood kingdom, but she felt like so much more than that.
There was a soft knock behind me, and a chill ran down my marks as I turned around to find Evren standing near the long aisle Thalia had led us down.
“Hi.” I swallowed hard as I stared at him and watched a soft smile form on his lips.
“Hi, princess.”
My breath caught in my throat, and the pull he had on me almost made me forget that Thalia was in the room until I heard her move behind me.
“Any changes?” She moved to my side and pressed her hands onto the table.
“No.” He shook his head softly. “My brother and his men should be here by midmorning tomorrow.” His gaze flicked back and forth between us. “We should all get some rest before he does.”
“Of course.” Thalia reached forward and squeezed my hand in hers for only a moment before she passed me and made her way toward Evren. “I’ll be ready.”
“I know you will.” He nodded toward her as she went to pass, but he caught her arm in his hand before she could. She looked up at him, but her gaze didn’t meet his. He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into his chest.
Her body seemed to sag against him, and I couldn’t imagine the thoughts that were clouding her mind. She allowed herself only a moment before she pulled herself away from him and ran her hand down the back of her neck.
“You’ll wake me if anything changes?”
“Of course.” He nodded once before his gaze landed on me.