A Keeper(25)

‘Yes.’

Patricia felt her stomach drop. She thought of herself standing in the hall of Convent Hill, ripping open envelopes. The things he’d said. The private things. The things who had said? Of course, she knew the answer to that question, the unthinkable truth. Suddenly she couldn’t bear to look at Edward for a moment longer. He just seemed like a great big man-baby sitting in front of her. She struggled to her feet and rushed out of the door. She had no idea where she was going but every footstep she took into the black night meant she was closer to home. The door slammed shut behind her. She could hear Edward’s voice calling her name and then the loud unfettered roars of laughter.





NOW


It had always been Elliot’s shortcut to victory when they fought. He would accuse her of being a control freak. Elizabeth had thought it unfair but now as she sat in her parked rental car she wondered if he had been right all along because this was the deepest pit of hell. She had no control whatsoever. Multiple messages had been left on various phones with no replies and she was thousands of miles away. She held on to the steering wheel and tried to remember the breathing techniques from the solitary yoga class she had ever attended. Calm. She was powerless and she must accept that fact, there was nothing to be gained from being hysterical. Bad things happened to daughters. Boys were strong. Boys were tough.

A moment later she was shaking the steering wheel and sobbing aloud, ‘Where the fuck are you, Zach?’ She let out a long, low howl and it felt good. Wiping away her tears Elizabeth considered her next move. Dublin Airport. She could drive straight there. Her passport and credit cards were all she really needed and she had them with her. No need to head back to Buncarragh. The keys to her New York apartment. Would she need them? No, she could just fly direct to San Francisco. The thought of Noelle and Gillian with their faux concern made her feel nauseous. She couldn’t control her husband and now had failed to look after her son. Neither a wife nor a mother. Their judgement and pity would hang thick as cigar smoke in the air.

A peal of electronic bells. Her phone announced that Elliot was calling. She pounced on it and held it to her ear.

‘Elliot! Thank God. Have you heard anything?’

‘Calm down, Elizabeth. I’m sure he’s fine.’ The smooth, even tone of his voice made her want to smash something. How could any father sound like this when his son was missing?

‘Have you any news? Did you contact his friends?’

‘Well, I left him a voicemail, explaining that we had rumbled him, so I expect he’ll be calling one of us shortly.’

She rolled her eyes and tightened her grip on the phone. The man was useless.

‘I’m coming back.’

‘Why? What good can you do?’

‘Why? My son, our son,’ she corrected herself, ‘is missing. He’s only seventeen. I think it is my job as his parent to do whatever I can do to find him.’

‘Elizabeth, think about it. Don’t rush into anything. You saw his ticket, right?’

‘An e-ticket, yes. I think it was the real thing, but who knows? I got emails from you! Emails saying how pleased you were he was coming to stay!’

‘Elizabeth, I never sent anything. Please believe me, I knew nothing about this plan of his.’

‘I know, I know. I was a fool. You emailed to give me your “new” email address and it never crossed my mind that Zach would do something this stupid, this dangerous!’

‘Well, say the ticket is real, then he is in the Bay Area somewhere. There is no point you coming all the way out here.’

‘I’m coming!’

‘From Ireland? It’ll cost you a fortune.’

This gave Elizabeth pause.

‘When were you planning to come back to New York?’ Elliot continued.

‘In five days.’

‘Look, by then I’ll have found our runaway and I’ll send him back for you to knock some sense into.’

‘I don’t know. I feel weird being this far away.’

‘Elizabeth, we might never have found out he’d done this. He has been fairly unlucky – it’s not like we speak on a daily basis!’

She grinned despite herself.

‘That’s true enough. He must be shitting himself, now that he knows we know.’ She heard Elliot chuckling at the other end of the line.

‘Do what you need to do. I’ll let you know the second I hear anything. He’ll be fine. Zach is a smart kid. Surviving in New York prepares you for most things.’

‘He flew cross-country alone, without telling anyone!’ She could feel her hysteria returning.

‘Elizabeth,’ Elliot said in a soothing voice, ‘everything is going to be OK. I’ll stay in touch. He knows we are going to be pissed at him, but he’ll call. You’ll see. Try not to worry.’

The sort of thing only a man could say. How could she possibly not worry?

‘OK. Thanks. Call me. I’ll call you.’

‘We’ll talk. Goodbye.’

‘Bye.’

Elizabeth imagined Elliot rolling his eyes across the room at, what was the latest one called? Andrew? Barry? Maybe Will? There had been so many.

Outside the car the street lights had come on and a thin mist of rain had given the streets an oily sheen. She had to admit that Elliot was right. She might as well get on with things. Putting the car into gear she eased her way into the afternoon traffic. Buncarragh. She resolved to tell her family nothing about her maternal failings.