A Holiday by Gaslight(28)

“I didn’t ask leave to court you merely for your beauty. I thought I made that clear the night you came to my office.”

Her smile faded. “Yes. You were very kind.”

“It wasn’t kindness. It was the truth.” He’d wanted her from the first. Had known as soon as he looked at her that she was someone worth having in his life, no matter the cost.

It hadn’t been love at first sight. That was too trite. Too simplistic. But something within him had recognized something in her. Had understood that she would be important to him.

In business, he’d learned to trust his instincts. He’d seen no reason to doubt them when it came to matters of courtship and marriage.

“The truth is in rather short supply in my life,” she said. “You’ll forgive me for doubting it when I hear it.”

Ned caught her gently by the arm and turned her to face him. The rest of the group had drifted ahead, leaving them standing alone under the snow-covered boughs of an enormous pine tree. He looked her very steadily in the eye. “I won’t ever lie to you, Sophie.”

Beneath the ribbon tie of her wool cloak, her throat spasmed in a visible swallow. “Won’t you?”

“Never.”

“Then tell me what you and my father talked about yesterday in his study.”

Ned’s hand fell from her arm. He shook his head, amazed at his own stupidity. “I walked very neatly into that, didn’t I?”

“It’s not a trap. All you need do is tell me what he wanted of you.”

“I already told you it wasn’t important.”

“No. What you said was that it didn’t concern me. Which is absolute flummery and you know it.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. I won’t be haggled over in secret, smoke-filled rooms. Even dairy cows are negotiated for in the open-air market.”

He choked on a laugh. Or maybe it was a groan. “A dairy cow? That’s hardly flattering to either of us.”

“Given the circumstances, I find it a rather apt comparison.”

“It’s a ridiculous comparison.”

“You’re determined to patronize me,” she said. “To treat me like a child who has no say in her own life. In her own future. I see how it is now.”

Ned sighed. “My dear girl, doesn’t it occur to you that I’m trying to spare you a burden?”

“Why should you? I’ve been shouldering the burdens of my family for as long as I can remember. I shan’t crumple like a leaf to hear that my father has a new scheme for improving the estate.” Her eyes flashed. “Aha! That’s it, isn’t it? He wishes to re-gravel the drive or—”

“It’s not the drive.”

“What, then?”

He ran a hand over his hair. “It’s the plumbing.”

“The plumbing?”

Ned grimaced. “Not the most decorous subject to discuss with a lady.” Indeed, he wondered what the author of The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette would have to say about it.

Sophie fell silent for a long moment. A shadow of worry darkened her brow. “I never thought… That is, he’s mentioned bathing rooms and shower baths and the like, but the cost of such a project could never be borne. The gaslight has already nearly forced us into penury. Another improvement on that scale would be the end of us.”

“I’m not a pauper, Sophie.”

“No, but…we don’t even know if we suit each other. Or what might happen after Christmas.” She resumed walking, her pace quickening with every step. “You should leave Derbyshire. You should run far and fast from my family.”

Ned caught up with her easily.

“The plumbing won’t be enough,” she said. “You must realize that. It will no more satisfy him than the gaslight or the platform halt.”

“I thought you approved of progress?”

“Yes. I—” She faltered. “I do approve. I try to, anyway. But this? It’s too much, Ned. When Mama finds out—”

“Is it only the money you object to?”

“Only the money, you say. As if money is a small concern. And even if it weren’t. I’m not worth half the sum.”

“And you accuse me of talking flummery?”

“It’s not flummery. It’s reality. I’m doing you the courtesy of being honest.”

“Permit me to do the same.” Ned caught her by the arm once again, obliging her to stop and look at him. His voice was low and fierce. “You say you know nothing about me. That you don’t know if you like me or not. Or whether we suit or not. But during those two months I courted you in London, I learned to like you very much. I watched you and listened to you. I saw how gracious you are. How kind and sweet and warm. How very much a lady. I don’t need the next eight days to determine how I feel about you. I already know how I feel. I admire you, Sophie. I want you for my own. If I have to modernize your father’s estate into the next millennium, it would be a small price to pay for the privilege of having you.”

Sophie gaze held his, a look of muted astonishment on her face. As if she were stunned by his words and trying very hard not to show it.

And then, just like that, her mouth trembled.