A Grimm Warning (The Land of Stories, #3)(66)

“What’s so funny?” Alex asked.

“I just compared our days in my head,” Rook said. “You’re going to be part of an election that will change a kingdom’s future and I’m pulling weeds.”

“We all do our part,” Alex teased. “But if it’s any consolation, Red’s problems are a lot like weeds. No matter how many times you pull them, they just keep coming back.”

The following afternoon Alex rode Cornelius into the Red Riding Hood Kingdom and arrived in town just as the debate was about to begin. From a distance it looked like the entire kingdom had been painted red, but when Alex got closer she realized it wasn’t paint the town was covered in. Every shop, home, and tree was covered in Red’s campaign posters.

The majority of them said VOTE FOR QUEEN RED and had a sketch of Red on them. Others were a bit catchier and said KEEP THE KINGDOM FED, VOTE FOR QUEEN RED or, A KINGDOM THIS GREAT MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT, VOTE FOR QUEEN RED. Others completely slandered Little Bo and said DON’T BE A CREEP, DON’T VOTE FOR PEEP or, more subtly, PEEP LOSES SHEEP.

Alex tried to find posters in Little Bo’s favor but couldn’t see any. She clearly wasn’t campaigning as hard as Red, or perhaps all her posters had been covered by Red’s.

The park in the center of the kingdom was lined with voting booths. Two podiums were set up on the House of Progress’s front steps where most of the kingdom had gathered on the ground below. The representatives were seated at the bottom of the steps, privileged to have front-row seats to the debate.

Alex let Cornelius graze in the park and met Froggy at the steps. He paced around nervously, holding a stack of cards in his hands.

“Is she ready for this?” Alex asked him.

“As ready as she can be. I’ve been coaching her all week.”

“I’m sure you were an amazing teacher,” Alex said, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I really love Red and I think she’s an amazing queen in her own way,” he said. “Her confidence is contagious and it’s good for the kingdom. Getting others to see it that way is the challenge.”

Queen Red and Little Bo emerged from inside the House of Progress and were greeted by warm applause as they walked down the steps to their respective podiums. Red moved a little faster than Little Bo and walked in front of her, taking in all the applause for herself.

Alex had a seat with the representatives and Froggy addressed the crowd.

“Hello, Hoodians, and welcome to the first electoral debate in the history of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom,” Froggy said. “Our candidates will each be given a chance to express why they feel deserving of your votes and then we will conclude the debate with questions submitted by citizens from around the kingdom. Let’s begin!”

Froggy took his position on the lower steps below the podiums and the debate began. Queen Red was the first to try to persuade the kingdom to vote for her.

“Fellow Hoodians,” she declared. “That has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think? What will you be called if Little Bo sits on the throne—the Peepers? I bet you would dislike that as much as I would dislike it. Now I know my opponent is going to spend the next few minutes telling you all she understands you and she’s one of you and blah, blah, blah… and you know what, she’s right!”

The citizens were shocked to hear Red take this approach. Alex was afraid of where she was taking this.

“Little Bo Peep is just like you. And I couldn’t be more different from you,” Red continued. “But that’s how you like your queen! You want your queen to represent you, not be one of you. That’s why I was elected queen when I was a little girl, because as a young innocent victim I symbolized you. And now that our kingdom has become the prosperous nation it is today, I symbolize that. When other kingdoms think about the Red Riding Hood Kingdom, do you want them thinking about a leader who carries around a staff and probably does her own cooking and cleaning? No! You want them thinking of a rich and beautiful and fearless queen because that is what the Red Riding Hood Kingdom is! Thank you.”

Red finished her speech and struck a pose with her hands in the air. Her citizens had been trained well enough by now to know they were supposed to applaud whenever she did this.

Little Bo cleared her throat; it was her turn to convince the citizens to vote for her.

“The reason I didn’t put campaign posters up is the same reason I won’t bore you with a long speech now: It’s a waste of time,” Little Bo said. “Queen Red may waste your time and your resources, but I will not.”

A quiet whispering broke out through the crowd. Red was appalled by Little Bo’s response. She kept looking into the crowd expecting someone to say Little Bo was breaking the rules. Little Bo stayed as calm and collected as ever. She definitely wasn’t the emotional mess Alex had seen in the barn a few weeks earlier. Red was desperate to get the crowd back on her side.

“May I just remind everyone that when I was younger and surviving horrendous attacks by wild creatures, Miss High-and-Mighty over there couldn’t even keep track of her own sheep!” Red said. “And then her own sheep felt so sorry for her they came back, wagging their tails behind them, so she wouldn’t feel so pathetic. And now this woman wants to be queen.”

The spectators hooted and hollered at Red’s feisty response—the debate was getting interesting. Froggy slapped his hand against his forehead. Alex could tell he had tried coaching her against having outbursts like this.