A Dirty Business (Kings of New York #1)(100)

God.

He was gutting me alive. That’s how it felt.

“Trace has no idea about any of this, and he won’t because you’re not going to tell him. You proved tonight that you can’t separate him from what he does.” He turned, going for the door. The floor creaked underneath him until I heard his pause again. “You’re not the snitch, but you’re not far from one either.”

I held my breath, my heart pounding against my sternum, until he went all the way downstairs.

I could hear conversation beneath me.

There were voices from outside.

Then, more voices outside, and a door shut beneath me. It was loud enough to shake the house.

I didn’t dare move. I couldn’t. Not yet.

A car started.

Car doors were opened, then shut.

Tires moved over gravel.

Then silence.

Nothing.

I bolted for the bathroom, falling into the shower as my bladder released at the same time I vomited, emptying out everything that was inside of me. Including me.





CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT


JESS


A month later

My phone started ringing as I was balancing a box in my arms, stepping onto the front porch.

Molly came over, pulled my phone out of my back pocket, and showed me the screen.

Trace calling.

“Ignore it.”

She hit decline, put the phone back in my pocket, and opened the door for me.

Of all the places I was moving into, yeah. I couldn’t begin to explain it.

“That’s like the third call he’s made just today, and I’ve only been around you for an hour.”

I gave her a look, taking my box into my mom’s kitchen.

Yes. My mom’s house. The joke was on me, in so many ways.

She looked around the house, noting the musty smell. “Your mom’s where again?”

I hesitated as I put the box on the table and turned right around, heading back for more.

She followed me, taking one of the lighter boxes. “She’s in rehab,” I said as I went back up the sidewalk and into the house.

“You’re moving in to take care of the place. Also, I knew about the rehab, but you hadn’t officially told me, so you know, being considerate here.”

I flashed her a grin and indicated she could put the box on the floor. I put mine down, and we were heading right back. Only about thirty trips left to go. Or sixty-nine trips. I was trying not to count.

“Yeah, well, she’s not here, and I can’t afford my rent anymore, not on my own. So here I am. Moving in here and hoping my mother doesn’t kick me out when she finds out.”

She grunted. “No shit. My dad did that to me one time, pulled a shotgun on me and everything. Saturday-morning breakfast has never been the same between us.”

I shot her a look because . . . what? But also, I was hoping she’d talk more about that. It would save me from sharing the sadness and pathetic-ness that had taken my life’s place. Like being suspended, being fired, being interrogated, being tortured, having your best friend take a safety break from you, and the latest, having no money, so you needed to be an adult and read the writing on the wall. Meaning, I needed to do something about my living expenses, or I’d be in serious trouble in a few months from now.

I really was praying my mom wouldn’t kick me out. She’d banned me from the hospital, and then she went away to a clinic and was now at a rehab treatment place. I was told she was becoming a whole new person, but I’d have to just trust and pray for a somewhat not as bitter and abusive mother when she came home.

So, yeah. There was that. And I’d not even gotten into how Ashton’s last visit with me made an impact and I was fully avoiding Trace.

He called. I declined.

He texted. I deleted it.

He showed up at my apartment, and I moved. He was the other reason I was moving, and I was sure he had a guy following me. I noticed someone the other day, so I’d have to do something to that guy to scare the living shit out of him. Until then, I was hoping he wouldn’t show up here. I didn’t think he would. Leo still came over to check on the place.

Leo, who didn’t know I’d made an executive decision and was moving in. I figured I still had the right since she’d never changed the locks. Bear told me that I could work at his place if I needed extra cash, but considering half his customers were my friends, who I was sure knew all about who I’d been screwing, I wasn’t that desperate. Yet.

I was holding out some pride.

But Molly was the only friend I was in contact with. I wouldn’t let Val anywhere near me. Didn’t want anything coming back to her and causing her a hassle with her career, and sometimes that could happen. I also hadn’t reached out to Kelly. I’d agreed with her and Justin when she’d said they were going to stay away.

I figured when I got sorted, I would reach out. I was so far from being sorted, but Molly had offered me a temporary job. I was considering it. Who’d turn down a bartending job at a bowling alley?

We finished two hours later. My calves needed to be stretched, while Molly had done a great job of holding the door for me every time.

“Okay.” She pulled me in for a hug. “Let me know if you need anything. Let me know when I can hire you, or to be more honest, when I can fire Sebastian. Bad move on my part hoping I was secretly hiring the Snowy Soldier guy since he kinda looks like the guy, but yeah. Super lazy and I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll only hire friends or people who actually have bartending experience. I’ll see you later.” She gave me a two-finger salute, heading out.