A Brush with Love(73)
“Driving home after a particularly bad visit, my mom broke down sobbing and it ripped my heart out.”
He shut his eyes at the memory. The anguish on her face. The way her hands fisted and knotted together as she’d cried.
“She kept asking me why I couldn’t have just done what he wanted. Followed his footsteps. Continued the family name and reputation. She kept repeating how much easier everything would have been if only … Kept telling me how afraid she was. How everything was falling apart. Asking me how I could let them both down like this.”
A weighted silence fell over the kitchen. Dan turned off the heat and moved the last batch of pancakes onto the plate. “It was just never something I wanted to do. It wasn’t out of spite, I swear. I knew it wasn’t for me. But I would do anything to take that pain away from my mom. And, eventually, she told me she needed me to come on and help her run the practice or she’d lose it and her livelihood along with it. She’d only worked part-time when he was alive, and now she’s overwhelmed with the patients and money and bills and keeping everything above water. My dad had dictated everything. Told her where to be and when to be there. To suddenly have the weight of it all on her shoulders … She pretty much demanded I join the practice, saying it was my duty as a son.”
Dan tried to swallow past the guilt that made his throat thick. “So I contacted Callowhill that night. I had missed the application deadline but since I’d already been accepted once before, and I had the name to back me up, they accepted me quickly. It felt gross how easy it was to get a spot, to use the leverage I resented so much.”
Dan’s eyes were fixed on the countertop, countless images from those last weeks flashing through his mind in an endless loop.
“I never even told him. He died a few days after I was accepted.” Dan forced himself to look at Harper, to gauge her reaction.
Harper’s head was bowed forward, her hair forming a protective curtain around her features while her fingers twisted in her lap. He moved to stand in front of her and she finally looked up. Red splotches dotted her skin. Her big brown eyes were shiny with tears, and wet tracks stained her cheeks.
He loved Harper in every form she came in, but he hated to see her cry.
“Hey, none of that, okay?” He cupped his hands over her cheeks, using his thumbs to brush away the tears. “There’s no reason to cry.”
He kissed up and down her cheeks then gave them a sloppy lick, and she let out a choked laugh. She pulled him closer, clutching her hands around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist. She crushed him to her so tightly, his breath caught. He nuzzled into her neck, rubbing soothing circles up and down her back. She mumbled something into his chest that he couldn’t make out.
“What was that?”
She pulled back just far enough to look at him, her eyes searching his face before she rested her forehead against his chin with a sigh.
“I said, ‘I’m so sorry you’re here.’ I’m sorry he was awful, I’m sorry he made you feel less than you are. I’m sorry for the little boy that grew up with that kind of dad. I’m sorry you have this pain and I’m sorry you have to go through this because of him. And because of your mom. They shouldn’t put this on you.”
“Oh, Harps.” He ran his lips over her hair, breathing in her scent. “I’m not sorry.” She let out a disbelieving huff. “I’m serious. If not for all of that, I never would have met you.”
Harper moved to look up at him. Different emotions passed behind her eyes before Dan could read them.
“That doesn’t make up for doing something you hate. You should do something you love, something that you’re excited about every day. Having to carry that baggage…”
Dan smiled and kissed the frowning corner of her mouth. “Knowing you makes up for it more than enough. I’ll figure the career out, don’t worry. I’ll make it work.”
They held on to each other, breathing in the other’s scent, calming the other’s storms. Dan took an unsteady breath. The urge to tell her the truth of how much he felt for her overwhelmed him. He pulled back, looking into her eyes.
He formed the words slowly, letting each one fall from his tongue. “Harper, I think I lo—”
A wild glint flashed in her eyes right before she crashed her mouth against his, kissing away the words with frantic energy. Dan blinked a few times before returning the kiss, loving on her mouth with calming strokes.
She wasn’t ready to hear it; not sober at least.
And that was okay.
Dan could wait however long she needed. The words didn’t matter as long as he could be with her. He knew how he felt, and he’d show her every day until she was ready for the words.
Harper’s hands moved to the elastic of his waistband, scrambling and searching. He smiled against her mouth. A hiss escaped his lips as she moved her hand up and down his length.
“Are you trying to give me a pity hand job?”
Harper pulled back and met his eyes, sadness and lust mixing in their depths. “Hand job, blow job, any job. Put me to work. Whatever makes you feel good.”
Dan laughed and rubbed his nose against hers, circling her wrists with his hands and pulling her arms to rest on his shoulders.
“While I really, really appreciate the enthusiasm, I think I’d pass out from exertion if we did another round without some nourishment.” Harper’s stomach growled again as if to emphasize his point. “And you might too. Let’s eat and then we can discuss your employment.” They laughed and Dan moved to fix them both a plate.