214 Palmer Street(39)
“Gavin says otherwise.”
“If he said that, he twisted my words. You know how he is—acts like he knows it all. I might have said you had some memory gaps, but brain damage? I know I never used those words.”
Sarah nodded, making him think he’d put the issue to rest, but then the conversation veered in another direction.
She said, “And I’m still puzzling over why you failed to tell me about your connection with Clarice Carter in high school? Or that one of your best friends from back then went missing? Someone important disappeared from your life and you never shared that with me?”
And just like that the argument was resurrected.
He kept his voice from rising as he came to his own defense. “I didn’t mention it because nothing ever happened with Clarice and it was in another lifetime. There was a period when she hung around with us, but it didn’t last long and then she got bored and moved on to another group of kids. She was always too cool for us.” Damn that Clarice. She was a dark cloud in high school and was still casting a shadow. He couldn’t seem to shake her. “As for Jeremy, that summer was a dark time for me. He was a good friend in a terrible situation. All of us knew his dad was an abusive drunk, but none of us knew how bad it was. I feel guilty for not helping him when I had the chance. Even saying his name still causes me pain. I let him down and now he’s gone.”
“And none of you knew where he went?” She folded her arms.
“And none of us knew where he went,” he repeated softly. “We figured he took off to escape a bad home life. We were kids. Stupid kids.”
“Why is it that I know your third-grade teacher’s first name, but not this? Why, Kirk?”
He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “I don’t have a good reason, Sarah.”
“You have nothing for me?” Her voice was tinged with anger. “You’re keeping secrets from me and can’t tell me why?”
He shrugged. “Talking about it reminds me of Jeremy and that makes me want to cry. Once we covered up the bomb shelter, I felt such a sense of relief, I can’t even tell you. After that, I buried the memories too. Honestly, this has haunted me all of my adult life. I’m not sure I was ever happy until I met you. And once you were in my life, I only wanted to look forward, not back.” He could tell by the look on her face that without even trying, he’d said just the right thing. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed the top of her head and said, “I love you, Sarah. I’m sorry you felt like I was keeping things from you.”
She pulled apart as if suddenly remembering something. “But what about the machete?”
Panic raced through him. “Machete?”
“The one belonging to your dad. Damascus steel. Sound familiar? I saw a picture of Gavin holding it in the photo album. Your mom said it went missing, but Gavin has it displayed in his man cave so obviously it’s not lost. You want to tell me what that’s all about?”
“Oh, that.” He exhaled audibly. “That machete.” Even to his own ears it sounded like he was buying time. “The one Gavin has is similar, but it’s not the same one. I was such a stupid kid back then. I took it without permission to show my friends. I left it in the bomb shelter overnight and the next day it was gone. My parents grounded me for two weeks after the machete disappeared. Gavin came across one just like it on eBay and bought it to torment me. He thinks it’s funny.”
She tilted her head to one side, considering his words. “I see.”
“You didn’t mention Gavin’s machete to my mom, I hope?”
“No. I wanted to hear what you had to say first.”
He nodded. “I appreciate it. I’d rather not get my dad all riled up again.”
After that conversation, things had been fine between them—or at least they were fine on the surface. Every now and then, though, he’d catch her studying his face. When he met her eyes, she looked away, something that tore at his heart. He knew he’d broken her trust, and without trust, what chance did they have of making their marriage work? When he asked what was on her mind, she’d brush it off and change the subject. Clearly, thoughts had been churning in her head, thoughts she didn’t want to share with him. She was a smart woman, insightful and curious. He doubted she’d let this drop so easily.
And now Gavin was on the other end of the phone, acting like her absence was no big deal. As if wives just left for getaways without warning on a regular basis. Kirk tried again. “Could you please give me the benefit of the doubt here?”
“What do you want from me?” Gavin asked, exasperated.
Kirk sighed. How many times had Gavin circumvented the law to his own advantage? Several that he knew of, and probably a lot more. And then there was the time he bragged about slamming a guy’s head against a table to get a confession. “Starkey had it coming,” Gavin said when Kirk had expressed shock. “Believe me, this is a guy who shouldn’t be out on the street.”
“But what if he didn’t actually kill his girlfriend?” Kirk had asked. “What if he was innocent?”
Gavin had scoffed. “The guy had a list of priors as long as my arm. And he did confess, don’t forget that part.”
Now he was asking what Kirk wanted, when the answer was perfectly clear. He said, “I know she’s not technically missing, but could you treat this like a missing person case? See if you can find her?” There was a long empty pause. Kirk said, “Are you still there?”