Zanaikeyros - Son of Dragons (Pantheon of Dragons #1)(90)
The choice to visit the Garden of Grace had been Jordan’s—she’d needed to see the final resting place of the Dragyr for herself. She’d needed to understand the full implications of failing to enter the temple. She’d needed to know—honestly, unceremoniously, and viscerally—what would become of Zane if she didn’t have the courage to go through with the consecration. And the dragyri had agreed to take her, reluctantly, but he had agreed.
Now, as she stood beside the strong, powerful Genesis Son of the Sapphire Lair, witnessing his inner turmoil—and his ultimate vulnerability—her heart sank in her chest, and she found it hard to breathe. She squeezed his hand, knowing that whatever she was feeling, his experience, in this moment, was worse. “Are you okay, dragyri?” she asked, turning to face him more directly.
He bit down on his lower lip. “This is not a place I care to hang out.”
The words fell like a mallet striking stone, echoing through the mountains. Indeed, this was not a place he would want to hang out—not now, and certainly not forever.
Jordan shivered and tugged on his hand, backing away from the statue…
From Zane’s best friend.
There was no need to linger—the outing had produced the desired effect.
“Come,” she said, “let’s go stand over there.” She pointed at a brilliant cluster of bloodred and white osiria bushes that Zane had said, earlier, were always in bloom, and meandered in that direction.
He trailed beside her in silence, and when they stopped to talk some more, Jordan noticed that his eyes were not only distant; they were glassy with moisture, filled with all the tears he would never cry.
She released his hand and reached up to cup his cheek. “I’ve made a decision,” she whispered.
His eyes met hers, but he didn’t speak.
She looked away—it was just too sensitive a subject to face head-on. She was doing the best that she could. “I will not…I cannot…leave you to this fate, Zane.” She fought back some tears of her own. “Dying in my sleep, that’s one thing. Knowing that you…” She glanced over her shoulder at the sapphire statue—the one they had just walked away from—and shook her head with regret. “Last night, you saved my best friend from a horrible doctor—and from a tremendous amount of heartache—I just wish that I could’ve saved yours. That someone, somehow, could’ve rescued Jaquar.” She quickly changed the subject, knowing that it was way too delicate. “But it’s not just that. It’s everything, Zane. Everything you’ve said and done since the day that I met you—it’s everything you are.” She placed her hand over her heart and tried to steady her voice. “It’s everything I know…and feel…in here. I’m terrified, Zane. I’m so totally and unbelievably scared that I don’t even know how to breathe—I would honestly rather die than have to manage this much fear, but I can’t…I won’t…I will not let Lord Saphyrius remove your amulet. Not ever. I promise.”
Zane cupped her face in his hands, caressed her cheeks with his thumbs, and searched her eyes for…something.
Maybe confidence.
Maybe sincerity.
He wouldn’t find either one—
She was balancing on a wire.
“Promise me,” she continued, “that you will always be here, that you will take good care of my heart…that you will never hurt me like Dan did. Promise me that you’ll give me the time and the space that I need to adjust to your world—and that you won’t abandon me, like my parents, like my nana. I know it wasn’t their fault, but I don’t want to be left alone…not ever again.” Her legs were trembling from the brutally honest confession.
“Oh, dragyra,” Zane breathed tenderly, his eyes suddenly filled with wonder. A single tear escaped the corner of his eye, and he glanced away, trying to conceal his raw emotion. “I have waited a lifetime to know you, to have you, to be with you, Jordan, and I will never let you fall. I will never break your heart or betray you—it isn’t in my DNA. Don’t you understand: I was born loving you, angel. I have loved you all my life.”
She grasped his wrists and held them, much too tightly, as her tears began to fall. She couldn’t return the declaration—she couldn’t speak those words—just yet.
Not now.
Not here.
Not until she was absolutely sure.
But there wasn’t a question in her mind that a powerful bond—yes, perhaps even a powerful love—was rapidly growing between them.
She drew inward, encapsulating her mounting feelings—she didn’t want to fall apart. “Zane,” she whispered softly, needing to talk brass tacks. “What I need from you right now is to go over the ceremony…the consecration…every single detail.” She tried to stiffen her shoulders, but she knew they were visibly shaking. “I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I know that Misty told me everything I need to know, but I want to hear it from you: everything we have to do, every place we have to stand—or kneel—what to expect from the gods. I need you to walk me through the consecration, step by terrifying step. Do you think you can do that?”
He bent his neck, allowing his forehead to rest against hers. “If that is what you need, dragyra, then of course, I can give you that. It’s the least that I can do. We can even rehearse each element—go through the motions—if it doesn’t terrify you too much. It’s up to you. Let me know as we proceed…how to make it easier. If you need to back off, if you want to continue. Let me know what you need, okay?”